TK…that’s why I’m here…

 
His thoughts wandered to his younger sibling, and he sighed slightly. The digi-destined didn’t need
him, they needed his brother.
 
TK has the crest of hope…he keeps the hope of victory alive in everybody’s hearts.
 
He knew the crests that the others possessed would be useful in the fight to save two worlds. The
rest of the destined were valuable, yet he was expendable. He reflected back to his childhood for a
moment, discovering reveries that he had suppressed and hidden deep within the depths of his soul
long ago.
 

It’s like when I was a child…

 
He had been cast aside by his parents and cast out by his friends. He was always an outsider, always
seen as different and never given a chance to prove himself and his assets.
 
So he had given up even trying.
 
His friends ignored him; he ignored them back. His parents favored TK to him; he showed them his
displeasure. He began to hate when he should have loved, and began to dismiss those who truly did
care. The only thing he truly cared about was his harmonica; he could vent his frustration with a sad
tune and his cares with a merry one. Music was the only way he could release his soul.
 
When they had first been transported into the Digi-world, he had made sure he kept a mental
distance between the rest of the children and himself. He didn’t want anyone to see through the walls
he had built around himself, or to melt through the ice that thinly layered around his heart of pure
gold.
 
But the mask slips sometimes…
 
He couldn’t keep up his act around certain members of the group. Gabumon had seen straight
through him that night in the trolley car; he had wanted TK to be warm, yet he did not want TK to
know that he cared. He didn’t want the others to see he was compassionate.
 
Gabumon had known, and he had said so himself. TK had known too, and had sleepily uttered a
thank you. Those two simple words portrayed to the young boy exactly what he didn’t want the
others to see, didn’t want TK to see. Love.
 
Tai knows it as well…he can read me like a book. He has Kari, he knows how I feel about TK.
I can’t hide it from him; the walls around me are transparent and the ice is simply water. And
the day when we all got separated…man…that was the icing on the cake.
 
He could feel a blush spreading across his cheeks at the mere thought of that day, when he had
totally lost it and freaked out. He had been unstable, irrational and spontaneous. He had lashed out a
Tai, who was only trying to be his friend. Friend… He had punched, kicked, screamed and fought
with his companion, trying to release his worry and frustration about TK.
 
TK had been alone, unprotected and scared. His brother had simply wanted to be with him. Yet
Fate kicked him in the teeth that day and left him with the one person in the group he always ended
up fighting with.
 
And the one person who I actually opened up to as well. How crazy is *that*?
 
The fight had not ended up with them killing each other; quite the opposite, in fact. It had ended up
with the blonde haired boy in tears and confessing his worry and anxiety about TK, and Tai
understanding exactly what he meant and backing off.
 
Tai…he’s courageous. The crest of courage. If they’re gonna save the world, they need
someone brave to lead them. And Sora! She has the crest of love. She helped us when
Demidevimon was deceiving us…she was there all along, guiding us.
 
He sighed again and brought his knees up to his chest, resting his arms across them wearily.
 
Then there’s Joe; reliability. You need someone reliable to see it through to the end with you.
Someone who won’t back away. Same with Mimi; you need someone sincere with you too.
Then there’s Izzy; knowledge. The amount of times he’s saved us just by knowing what he
does…he’s irreplaceable. And Kari; she has the crest of light. You can’t defeat darkness
without light.
 
TK…hope.
 
He’d already thought about how valuable TK was to the team, and to him. He didn’t wish to touch
upon the topic again else the walls might begin to crumble and the ice begin to crack.
 
And what do I have? Friendship. What good is a crest of friendship?!
 
“Matt?”
 
He glanced up to see Gabumon coming towards him, worry etched across his features.
 
“It’s getting dark…aren’t you coming back to the camp?”
 
Matt shook his head, streaks of blond lightly brushing across his brow. His Digimon partner’s eyes
widened.
 
“Why not?”
 
“Think about it Gabumon,” Matt answered, not looking up to meet his companion’s intent gaze.
“What use am I to the group? What use is *this* to the group?!”
 
He reached down and grabbed the crest where it hung in the tag around his neck, tearing it off and
staring at it angrily with narrowed eyes.
 
“Everyone else has crests that benefit the group, and I get a crest that’s useless!” He threw the
pendant to the ground, not caring as the blue crest fell from its place in the tag. “It’s not even fitting!
Friendship…I’m no friend to anybody!”
 
Gabumon watched in amazement as his human friend got up and began to walk away, leaving the
crest in the dirt behind him. The digimon picked up the crest and dusted it down, and slotted it back
into the tag. Then he gave chase to Matt.
 
“Wait! Matt!”
 
The young boy didn’t even turn, he just kept on walking, hands in his pockets and eyes to the floor.
 
“Matt, you may not think you’re worthy of the crest of friendship, but you are.”
 
The boy’s steps faltered a bit, but he still continued and didn’t turn round.
 
“But you won’t be if you continue to ignore me!”
 
That stopped him. Gabumon inwardly smiled. He *would* get Matt to see what he meant, if it was
the last thing he did.
 
“Matt, you have the crest of friendship because, even if you refuse to believe you love your friends,
you do love TK.”
 
He turned slightly, curious about what his digi-partner was getting at.
 
“And the crest of friendship is very important.” The Digimon held up the crest, not expecting Matt to
take it, but wanting him to at least see it. “The group needs to be friends with one another to work
with each other!”
 
“Then why do Tai and I fight so much?” Matt shot back. “That’s not teamwork and friendship!”
 
“You and Tai are closer than either of you chose to see,” Gabumon explained, much to Matt’s
annoyance, as he turned away and crossed his arms across his green turtleneck. “The fact that he’s
the only one you’ve opened up to in this group shows that you trust him. The day we all got
separated after Devimon’s attack…”
 
“Why does everything have to come back to that?!” Matt shouted angrily, finally turning and stalking
over to the digimon. “I didn’t want to open up to him, okay?! I didn’t know he would understand! I
didn’t know he had Kari to think about! All I knew was TK was alone, and I wasn’t there to protect
him!”
 
“And why did you want to protect TK?”
 
“Because he’s my brother, why else?”
 
“No. It’s because you care.”
 
Matt stared down at the ground, opening his mouth to retaliate, but didn’t. Gabumon nudged his leg
and placed the crest of friendship into his gloved hand. Matt glanced at it and then at him, a slight
smile lighting his features.
 
“Wear it with pride, my friend.”
 
My friend…
 
Matt stared at the crest of friendship, blue eyes half lidded and tear filled as Gabumon said the words
he needed to hear.
 
Then he was on his knees, grabbing the digimon-his friend-and pulling him tightly towards him in a
breathtaking embrace.
 
“Thank you Gabumon,” he whispered. “Thank you for everything.”
 
“That’s what friends are for,” the digimon replied, attempting to put his small arms round the boy that
was holding him so tightly. He couldn’t, so he gave up and let Matt hold him like a child would hold a
stuffed toy, and letting him cry into his fur.
 
After a minute or two Matt, seemingly reluctantly, let Gabumon go. He brushed the tears from his
sapphire eyes with a trembling hand and smiled, wider this time, at his friend. Then he placed the
crest round his neck again and closed the clasp.
 
“That’s more like it,” Gabumon said approvingly. “Wear that crest at all times, and don’t you ever
devalue it again.”
 
“No,” Matt stated. “How could I with a friend like you?”
 
The digimon blushed slightly, a seemingly impossible feat. “Let’s get back to the camp,” he
suggested. “Everyone will be wondering where we are.”
 
As if on cue, they heard someone yell their names, and heard soft footsteps heading their way.
Gabumon concentrated on ridding the blush from his cheeks, and Matt ran a hand across his own,
drying tear streaks from them.
 
Tai reached them, panting, as it appeared he had ran all the way from the camp.
 
“Where have you been?!” He demanded of Matt. “Gabumon came looking for you over half an hour
ago!”
 
Matt didn’t reply, he simply stared at Tai.
 
He was worried. They all were. They * do* care!
 
Instead of yelling back at Tai, as daily routine would have it, Matt grabbed him and hugged him
instead. Tai’s rusty eyes almost fell out of their sockets in amazement.
 
“Whoa…” he breathed.
 
Almost as suddenly as he had grabbed the boy, Matt let him go again and began to walk back to the
camp. Gabumon followed, leaving Tai staring after them, confused.
 
“The digi-world’s finally getting to him…” he commented to himself before running after the two.
“Hey! Wait for me!”
 
Gabumon and Matt stopped and let the boy catch up to them, Matt grinning from ear to ear. Tai
looked at him strangely, but then shook his head and carried on walking.
 
“I’ll never figure you out, Matt,” he stated, sighing. “You’re an enigma.”
 
“That’s just the way I want it,” Matt replied, falling in step with the young leader. “I don’t want it any
other way.”
 
Because although you’re all my friends, and I do love you, I don’t want any of you close to me.
I don’t want anyone to know who I really am. Yamato Ishida is a mystery, and that’s the way
it has to be.