�No! No, Pan, I don�t want to hear it!�
�Daddy, I�ve met someone. An American.�
�Are you crazy?� Gohan grabbed his daughter by her shoulders and shook her. Pan cried out and grabbed her stomach.
�Daddy, no! The baby!� she screamed and Gohan stumbled back. His face crumpled in disappointment as he looked from Pan�s tear-stained eyes to her belly. Pan was always small, so not much showed except for the slightest bulge.
�An American, Pan? *Now?!* Have you forgotten they--!� Gohan choked off in a sob. �Have you forgotten they were the ones who killed your mother?!� Pan squeezed her eyes shut as a tear streaked down her face. Gohan collapsed against a wall and buried his face in his hands. Shaking, Pan lowered her gaze to her father�s hand. He still wore his wedding ring. ::How *could* I have forgotten, Daddy?::
�But it wasn�t him, Daddy. It wasn�t Nicholas!�
�It just as well should have been!� Gohan shouted, body wracked with anger and hatred. ::Those filthy Yanks have taken my wife and I�ll be *damned* if I let them take my daughter, too!::
�I forbid you to ever see that... that kusottare again!� Pan went rigid with defiance.
�You can�t stop me. I love him.� Gohan snorted.
�So you say.�
�So I *know*. I�m leaving for the United States as soon as he gets out in a few months.� Gohan straightened and approached his daughter. It wasn�t until then that he saw the packed suitcase behind her.
�If you step out that door,� he snarled, wagging a finger in Pan�s face, �don�t you *ever* come back. *EVER!*� Such an ultimatum from her father was like a slap to her face, but Pan was determined. She needed a better life than this. She was tired of living in ruins, of seeing the sick and dead carried out of her neighborhood, of staying in a shelter that was just a few feet away from the remains of her house. It ripped her heart out every day to look and see that house, knowing it was her mother�s final resting place.
�Well,� Pan sighed as she stooped to pick up her luggage. �I was hoping you�d come with me, Daddy. We could start a new life in America! It wouldn�t have to be this way if you just--�
�Never!� Gohan spat and turned away. Pan licked her dry lips and slipped in front of her father.
�Daddy, I love you. Please always remember that. I just can�t stay here anymore,� she whimpered. She pressed her mouth against his cheek and hugged him, even though he refused to acknowledge her. Pan wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve and walked briskly out the door. She looked over her shoulder one more time to see her father unmoving. In front of her: her mother�s grave. She walked up to the house. Pan kissed her gloved hand and ran it along the frame of the broken door.
�I love you, Mommy,� she whispered and took off down the street. She kept her chin up so that none would see through the blanket of happiness and into the cold, empty depths of her heart. ::Nicholas, we shall start a wonderful life together. Just you, me... and our children,:: Pan thought as she smiled. He was the one thing that was able to melt the lump of ice in her chest and get her to really feel. She loved him.
* * * * *
<Daddy:
I�ve had a baby girl. Nicholas and I have decided to name her Midori. She is so beautiful, Daddy, I wish you could see her. She has the finest, silkiest black hair and curious emerald eyes. Midori and I shall stay in Japan while Nicholas goes back to the United States and gets clearance for our arrival. I miss you, Daddy, and I love you. Take care of yourself.
Love always,
Pan>
* * * * *
�See, Midori?� Pan breathed as she pointed at the ship. Midori stared, eyes glittering, and cooed in her mother�s arms. Pan balanced her child in one arm and dragged their belongings in the other. She approached the ticket booth and smiled. The man behind the counter did not smile back.
�What is it?� Pan took a deep breath.
�Good afternoon,� she said. �My daughter Midori and I have tickets waiting for us. I am Son Pan. I believe the tickets are in my name.� The man frowned and disappeared. Pan kept her smile as papers rustled and the man came back empty handed. He shook his head.
�Nothing. Next!� An older gentleman behind her started to push her out of the way, but Pan shoved back.
�Gomen! Could you please look under Nicholas Daly?� The man�s frown deepened. �Please,� she begged, a desperate look crossing her face. The man sighed and disappeared once more. Again the rustling of papers; again nothing.
�I�m sorry. Please move out of the way now.� Pan was tossed aside and she turned around helplessly. Midori began to fuss and squirm into Pan�s side. A tiny sob emitted hungrily from her mouth and Pan jiggled her up and down on her hip absently.
::What�s going on?:: she thought frantically to herself as she scanned the area in vain for a familiar face. She and her infant daughter of no more than two months were swallowed up in the crowd as it surged forward.
�All aboard!� called the captain one last time before the ship set sail for the Americas. Pan slumped to the ground against a wooden post and held back her tears of confusion. Midori wailed aloud now and the heavy suitcase was strewn carelessly at Pan�s feet. ::Nicholas, what have you done?::
