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~ Our Story ~ A chance encounter, or fate, as defined; (1-a) the supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events. (1-b) the inevitable events predestined by this force (2) a final result or consequence, an outcome. (3) unfavorable destiny/doom. So what do you think? There has to be an explanation as to why I was in that place at that time and so was James. Had we of never met otherwise? I have to think so. James wasn't going to be going online anymore and I was just babysitting at my cousins house. I think we were given the meeting, but what we did after that was up to us. Where we went with it, or didn't go. Where we talked or didn't talk met or didn't meet. Navigate the site by clicking on one of the bookmark links below. You'll be taken to that part of our story, which opens in a new window. Meeting Online | Budding Relationship | Meet in Person | Engagement | Wedding | Married Life | Life Now
~ Meeting Online ~ Our story starts on the night of June 25th, 1997. I was staying overnight at my cousins house, and was going to baby-sit for her the next morning. My cousin had just gotten a computer after the 'online' bug had bitten most everyone in the family - her mother had just gotten a computer. Chatting online was exciting and new for all of us from a small town in WI, of just over 9,000 people. Where everyone knew your name and your business. I logged in as my cousin - she was waiting for a friend to come on and didn't want to be missed as this person would search out her name and message her when they came on. I searched for someone to talk to, doing the normal... "16/f/Wisconsin, anyone want to chat?".... bit. I ended getting messaged by quite a few including one guy who asked, "How's Caitlin?" as the first line of the message. I
freaked out - my cousin was asleep, and I didn't want to wake her, but I
knew this wasn't the friend she was waiting for - it was a different
screen name. The name Caitlin is my little cousins name, the one I was to
baby-sit the I decided it must be someone my cousin did know, and explained she was sleeping, and who I was. The messenger did the same and I found out he was 19/Ontario/M. I asked if he wanted me to wake my cousin, he said -no, we can talk. We talked for what seemed like hours. In fact I think it was hours, as at 3:00 a.m. my cousin said I should get off and go to sleep as she was paying for only a certain amount of hours a month. Reluctantly I signed off, saying our good-byes and hoping we'd talk again. The
next few nights I was still at my cousins house, doing the same thing.
Letting my cousin talk till she had to go to bed and then I chatted most
of the night away, [ top ] Sometime in July my mother put to an end my staying at my cousins house. It was affecting my home chores and life. I was going insane not being able to talk to James, and eventually got my own computer a week later. I still talked with James at my cousins when I baby-sat but not as frequently as before. I remembered he'd given me his email in one of our talks. I didn't have an email address and quite honestly I'd used the internet for research for school and that was it, so I didn't have an account. I got one when I got my computer and internet service. So I quickly emailed him, as soon as my computer was set up and I was able to get my family off from it. I still have that first email. Every time I read it - I feel cheesy. I was quite the funny one, it's amazing James even responded. I was sure he wouldn't remember me, or write back... it seemed insane to think so. When I had talked to him all those times at my cousins he had a girlfriend, but I knew things weren't good and we had ended all our conversations from the very first one with 'maybe I was his soul mate, we were soul mates'. My email said something to that effect, that I hoped things had worked out with his girlfriend the way he'd wanted and that if they hadn't then maybe it was because it was meant, that we were meant. He emailed back and said they had broken up, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy about that :) I had to get the chat client on my computer, so for about a week we weren't able to chat again - but we emailed like crazy. I'd later find out that the chat client wasn't some special/secret program, but instead I could have downloaded it myself. Instead I drove a half hour away to have my uncle do it for me, dragging my computer along. Soon we were chatting hours on end, daily. Our relationship was at a different level and we weren't just joking anymore when we said things about life, love and where we were going to be in a few years. James tells me he knew from the first night we talked, that he was going to marry me. I wasn't so sure. I mean I was 16 and online for the first time, living up the environment. Though I quickly realized that James wasn't like the others I had met and was meeting. It took me until I had my own computer and we were free to chat for hours on end, email and I knew he wasn't joking before I opened up to the thought of something more. We exchanged care packages, including photos in July. I can't remember if we'd talked on the phone by this point or not, but I'm almost sure we had. I called him when I got the package he'd sent. I was floored and he won my family over by his gifts. He sent a lovely Precious Moments figurine - Sending You Oceans Of Love - I've always loved Precious Moments, but had not told James of this. James choose this as his gift as well as a lovely glass plane with ceramic flowers and a verse on it. "Each day begins with thoughts of you and ends with dreams of you". Also a photo of his graduation was included and a lovely letter. I can't remember what I sent him. I know all my immediate family sent a little something - note or such along. My mom put together a bunch of pictures of me through the years, to let him know what he was getting into. As well as some photos of the family. I sent along a cute similar verse with a cute little kitty cat on it and another thing that for the life of me I can not remember. We
talked on the phone that day for sure, and whether this was the first time
or not. It was wonderful to have another level of our relationship and put
a voice to the person we were falling in love with. It didn't take us long
to say the words on the phone and it flowed out of our mouths like it was
natural and meaningful. [ top ] I emailed James's mom and he talked with my family. I logged onto another server of the chat client and got to meet some of James's real-life friends. We all got to know each other and James brought up - I think, meeting in person. It had crossed my mind, but I'd never dreamt it in a million years. It seemed insane to think it would happen. After talking and discussing it with our parents and each other, James planned to come to Wisconsin on August 19, 1997. He wasn't able to stay long, our original plan was to come for two weeks, but instead James got a ticket for a week incase things weren't as smooth in a real life setting. We were both really nervous and had a 'talk' before he came. He was having second thoughts - not about coming but he was worried. We worked through them quickly and together. I remember being so scared the night before he was coming, he didn't come online and I thought he was avoiding me and going to not come. I called his house and left messages on the machine, emailed him and waited. Watched and waited. It was pretty late when he did call, though there is only an hour time difference between where we are from. He reassured me he was coming, but he had just spent some time with a friend - I wonder - they must have talked about his visit and feelings and such. James said he was excited and was doing a few last minute packing things. We didn't chat long, and said good-bye with the thought of seeing each other the next day. I woke up, really nervous. I remember not knowing what to think, wear or act like. I wanted to be me, just me but I tend to act like someone else when I first meet someone - not a bad someone else - just shy and I don't talk or let out the quirks. It had been so easy online not to care about first impressions. I was worried.
We arrived at the airport about 20 minutes before James's flight was due, I think my dad was more excited about the visit then I was and my mom made him go back a little further so I could meet James first. The airport is an open airport, nothing for security or 'passengers' only. Come and go as you please type thing. I was able to go right up to the window that James's plane would 'park' in front of. I waited and waited, my parents were getting nervous, and like I said my dad was super excited, his eyes were pealed and he was on a search for James. Finally I heard him say "There he is - that's him". I hid behind my mom.. I didn't know what to do and she yelled at me, saying get up there and greet him. I was worried about this - not meeting him, but how to greet him - a hug, shake hands, nothing, kiss? I watched him walk through the door and waited excitedly. I moved closer and closer, though it seemed to be forever till I reached him. I think I startled him - Heh heh. I think he said "Hey" we hugged and he started talking about his flight -it was his first time flying. We walked together towards my parents and he hugged my mom - I think and shook my dads hand? These details are a little more foggy. I do think my mom held back my dad as he was like a little kid - he liked to joke around with James on the computer and phone so he was happy. We then went to wait for James's luggage, we waited, waited and waited some more. Not having flown before we weren't sure of the appropriate waiting time. *ahem* Turns out it didn't get on the new plane when he transferred or it was lost. Ugh. They took James' information and our address and said they'd deliver it when/if they found it. We then headed out, we were all hungry so we went out to eat, I ate a salad - a few bites. I remember James saying -later- he thought it was cute that I wasn't eating. I did have some ice cream though, heh. We then went to a craft store that had a Pet Shoppe next door, James and I looked there while my parents were in the craft store. I think this allowed us some alone, open-up time. Being around the pets let us open up in a natural way. I
ended up getting a hamster, I called him Noah and so our drive home was
filled with hamster talk and holding and chasing down. I had taken him out
of his little carrier/cage thing and was holding him. We arrived home and
I changed out of my dress into more comfortable clothes. That night we
returned with my cousin and her boyfriend to the town we'd picked up James
in earlier that day. We walked about the mall and had supper at a Mexican
place where I had 'fried ice cream' - I didn't eat anything else - again.
I think I was a bit shy still plus I don't fancy meat The ride home was unusually long, but it was okay as it gave us time to be quiet and my cousin and her boyfriend to laugh at us. I remember - heh heh. I'm laughing about it now, it was quite cute. We had tried for almost the entire ride home, to have some contact if you will. Eventually we slouched into our seats far enough to the center that our hands were strewn in just the right way that we were holding hands. I remember wanting to kiss James and I think we'd even attempted it a few times, to no avail though. When we arrived home, James had a pleasant surprise - his luggage. Whoo hoo. So quickly he showered and got into comfy clothes, as did I. We then sat in his room and talked awhile, he gave me a few things he'd brought for me including a lovely bracelet, and we talked some more. Each time as it got later and later into the night that we should go to bed. Finally when all hope was lost and it was about 4:00 a.m. and I really was going to go to bed we kissed. The week flew by way too fast, James flew in on a Tuesday and was to leave on Monday. We went away on the weekend with my family, cousin, brother, and a friend of his. We went upstate Wisconsin to Minocqua. It's a place my family has vacationed a few times, rustic woods, lake, away from everything. It's a big lumberjacking town, where there are shows of such things like log rolling and water-skiing. We walked the streets of the town and saw a few shows, ate at the famous Paul Banyan with his trusty Ox Greeting us. One day as we were walking about the town, I got told I'd have to shop with my cousin, and she was to watch me to make sure I didn't peek at where James was shopping. Off he went with my mom. I cheated though, I did get a glimpse of him going into a jewelry store. Though seeing that could never have prepared me for what he would give me later that night - I figured an adjuster for the bracelet he'd given me earlier on his first night as it didn't quite fit. Back at he hotel we all went for a walk down to the lake. I knew something was up though as my mom insisted I give James my gift now and my dad had the video camera on us. We didn't get far when I gave quickly to James the gift I had for him. I didn't want my parents, brother, friend and cousin around. It was a personal thing... or so I wanted it to be. James opened it and loved it, it was my class ring and a 'key' to my heart - he put it on and then grabbed something out of his pocket. It was a small box and I unwrapped it.. opened it up and was awestruck by the ring that was before me. James started talking... "This is a promise ring - a promise to you, that I will be here in December. I will pack up my things and move here to be with you. I promise". At this time we knew nothing of Immigration or those such things, James was to complete his college degree in December and so he had to wait till then to be able to come down.
My family then left us alone. We walked along the lake and they went swimming or back to the hotel room. I don't remember how long we stayed out by the lake, when we did go back we slept in the back area of the van. James was leaving and we'd been surrounded by my family the whole time he was here. The day before James was to leave, he called up his mom and said he was going to change his ticket to be able to stay another week. It would cost a little to change the ticket, but he did it anyway. Yey. We had a little more time before he had to leave. He would need to leave though as he had to start school the following Monday. We soaked up the time we had, I was able to get off work for that time as well and we lounged around the house, went to the park - in a small town there isn't anything to do but go to K-mart or the two theater movie. The day finally came where James had to leave. We decided we didn't want to be apart, we started calling the airlines, train station, rental car and Greyhound to try to find a way back to Canada, together. We settled on Greyhound, it was cheap and I couldn't afford much more then that. So we set out on that Saturday on the bus and James didn't use his return ticket on the airline so that we could ride together. Everything was great, until we got to Chicago. We ended up with our bus getting filled up and we had to stay for the next one, 8 hours away. James called around to get us a hotel for our wait, we were both quite honestly afraid. He'd only been to Chicago once - on his flight in and that was just at the airport and I don't remember ever being to Chicago at all. Then !bam! we were all alone there. We finally got on the bus and got into James's hometown about 10:30 a.m. on Monday. James was supposed to start school that day, but opted not to go as we were so tired. We took a cab to his house then and I remember it was like a new country - I mean it was, but it was the same continent! I recently had a teacher that commented on the red brick houses driving into the town James is from, I had forgotten about this until the teacher asked of them, but I do remember the wonderfully pretty area we came in by. When we got to his house, we crashed after meeting the puppy. James's family dog, Boots. It was a long trip and we were exhausted. A few hours later I got to meet James's mum. It was nice to have a face to go with the person I'd emailed, and we - just the girls - went shopping after that for groceries. By this time James knew my picky eating habits and told his mum, so we went to the store for some bonding shopping style. I remember I really wanted James to come -I was worried about going with his mum alone so quick... but it turned out to be great as we were able to talk about things. Later that night I met James's sister and her boyfriend. It was nice to meet her as well. I had not talked to her via email or phone or anything at all before meeting James but I knew about her, and of her. I felt odd in many ways though - my coming was a big shock we didn't plan it, just James called one day - the day before he was to fly out and said I was coming home with him... and we'd arrive by bus and take a cab to the house. We were lucky to have almost a full month of my visiting James and his family in Canada. We saw a little bit of the town, including Storybook Gardens, a Drive-In movie (I'd never been), meeting James's best buddy, a park that we fell in love with - {side note: not quite sure what it is about that park, but we loved it} a visit to the downtown area, dinner out with family, mini-golf, a hotel stay and the list goes on but mostly we stayed in and enjoyed each others company while it lasted. I think I also got to meet James's grandmother along the way there sometime as well. James tried to get to school as much as he could, I mean he was to graduate in just three short months, but it was hard to focus while I was there. I went to his classes with him, I remember thinking how big it was but looking back I guess it wasn't that big after all. The days went by far too quickly and I was supposed leave after having been there only about two and a half weeks. Thankfully, heh-heh I fell off the bed, twisted my ankle and got a quite nice gash on my shin. So I was allowed to stay a bit longer as I wouldn't be able to manage getting him with a sprained ankle.
When I did get home, things weren't the same as before. Everyone was saying how I should get over it, and we'd see each other soon. Long distance relationships aren't easy and having such a connection on the first meeting doesn't help, the feelings are like a rush of all the emotions capable by a human being - well maybe I am exaggerating but still. I wasn't allowed much computer time as I had been able to do before, my computer was now the family computer and I had started my home schooling. (It was my first year being home schooled. My plan was to graduate that year though I was just entering 11th of 12 grades. Home schooling is a work at your pace type thing and I was sure I'd be able to get it done.) My hours picked up at work and I tried to keep busy, James had things to do for school and he worked as well. The first Sunday I was back home, the 27th of September my grandfather was admitted to the hospital. They told us there wasn't much hope, his body was just holding on and he went in and out of consciousness. I called James from the payphone many times collect over the two days at the hospital. I realize now how terrible that was of me... but I had no where to turn to. My family was all turning on each other and in their own frustrations and pain, James was my fiancé after all. Monday afternoon my grandfather passed away and I was lost. I
thank James for getting me through those days, I did have a moment where I
thought I had to be the worst, James had just lost his father a few months
before meeting me and he didn't need someone he'd just met and thought a
lot of passing away and then compound that on top of how much my
grandfather meant to me and James was felt a full dish - all the while
being 9 hours apart. I slouched into a slight depression, just going
through the motions and actions of daily life, just getting by thinking
about how far away/or close depending on the mood of the day, December
was. [ top ]
While
visiting James in Canada he proposed to me. I won't go into many details..
it is a private thing after all. We documented the things said, time and
things of that nature right after it happened. It was late at night, early in the morning September , 1997. We were snuggling and James had asked to see my ring and I remember having asked him why? I didn't want to take it off, thought it might be a test or something. He-he. With much reluctance I ended up taking it off for him. He studied it for what felt like 5 minutes. I had not the slightest clue what he was doing, I asked him questions as he looked at it and he too asked me questions. Eventually he took it and did the thing I think is the cutest on earth. Hehe. When he's thinking he puts his hand under or on his chin. Think Aristotle. Still I have no idea what's going on. Again a few minutes passed and James looked down into my eyes and his eyes got narrow, something he does when he's really feeling something. He took the ring and started to put it back on my finger, but not all the way... I was puzzled and then heard "Since the moment I met you, you've made me the happiest man in the world. Would you do me the honors of making me the happiest man for the rest of my life?". Stunned and confused, smiling and crying I said "Yes." That was that, we didn't tell anyone I don't think right away, some online friends eventually and perhaps in an email to my family. We sat down with James's mom at dinner out one night and told her, I think James's sister found out from his mom. Though
I am sure everyone was happy for our love, and commitment. We were only 16
and 19 - and 'much too young'. It's funny because we had already
tentatively set a date - September 26th, 1998 I think it was. [ top ] James and I got married on October 17, 1997 while he was here visiting my hometown. We were married at the courthouse, with my family as the only ones to attend. All that mattered to me was that my grandmother, Nan, was there. The ceremony was a civil ceremony a judge married us in a matter of minutes. When it came my turn to say my vows to James I put the ring on his right finger instead of left and the judge said "Left" and I kept going, unaware of the words, so he said again "other left". Heh-heh. We signed our new names and I goofed up- again. It was the line for me to sign my new name, and then old name, or vice versa - anyways I wrote my old name in the new name place, or started to anyway. You can tell if you look close enough, but an M can be made into a B pretty easy.
The next day we had a reception at my family's house. We got some nice gifts and money and the meal was good too. Then it was time to have cake! I wanted to smash it in James's face but, *ahem* he wouldn't allow it... hehe. We saved our piece to eat on our one year anniversary and after everyone left we finished packing. We were heading to the train station that night to head back to Canada, James had classes on Monday. My dad took us the 2 hours to my uncles house and then another 3 hours to the train station. We said our good-byes and my dad and uncle watched from the station. My dad was a little teary. I think he was happy, at least I hope he was.
[ top ] ~ Married Life ~ We
arrived in Canada at night on October 19, 1997. We were picked up by
James's sister who took us and all our packages to James's moms house.
Where we watched the video of our wedding and after a while we headed home
to our apartment. I had not had a chance to see it yet, nor did I know
where it was. Guess what? It was right outside the park we'd fallen in
love with on my first meeting. You can see the park out our apartment.
James had done a great decorating job, really. We were totally drained and
went to bed. The rest of the month James continued his schooling, he had a birthday and turned 20. I made him a special supper and we also went out with his mom and sister for his birthday as well. There was also a party his friends gave us for our wedding at a bar which was very great, everyone chipped in and bought as a microwave! How awesome was that? We attended a Halloween Party that James's sister was having where we went as a Roman God and Goddess. It was a nice time and allowed me to get to know James's sister and friends. Sometime - can't remember the day, but never the less... James's grandmother put on a wonderful Wedding Party for us. I got to meet all of James's family on his dad's side, his mom's side lives in Louisiana. We met at a restaurant that the family uses quite often for events and I was introduced to many people.. hehe. We had a good meal and then all went back to Grams house where there was cake and presents. It was a really nice time and everyone was so inviting of me.
December brought the end of James's schooling, Yey. We celebrated by my making him a nice dinner and being glad we weren't having to be apart anymore. He had been at school or doing work a lot that last week. We went out to his grandmothers house where he got presents for his graduation and we were able to visit some more. We
went shopping for Christmas gifts for family, we weren't going to be in
Canada for the holidays. The days passed quicker and quicker. We began to
pack our things and around the 20th of December my dad came up to Canada
to be able to drive the U-haul to Wisconsin. The day finally came where we were to leave. There is a conflict in my memory of when we left and when James thinks we had left. I say it was late at night - like 9:00 p.m. on the 23rd and James says we left on the 24th. Either way we were home for on the 24th, which was a surprisingly warm day and we were able to move our things into our new place while wearing shorts and a t-shirt. We celebrated with family the holidays and my birthday -I was now 17.
[ top ] ~ Life Now ~ Here we are - August 6, 2003 and just 72 more days until we have our 6 year wedding anniversary. We live in a different town, James has a great job, I just graduated from college and we are very happy. We've learned a lot over the past 5 years, most of all... not to doubt what we feel. Updated, February 23, 2004. We've had our anniversary and have many changes in our life right now. So things are great. Wow I suck at updating, well I guess not too bad. We've celebrated our 7 year anniversary and have moved into our first home, things are great.
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next
day. How did this person know her name?
My
cousin came over and did my hair, helped with my makeup and I borrowed a
sundress of hers. I didn't know what to wear. Eeek. We had a half hour
drive - my parents and I - to pickup James as the airport. James had a two
hour drive to the airport and a 4 hour flight, with connections.
- at this point, and am now a vegetarian but I don't think I had expressed
this to James at this point.
The
ring was a emerald with several baguette cut diamonds along each side. I
love emeralds, because I love green. It was perfect, James was so worried
about it - he kept asking me "Are you sure you like it?".
Heh-Heh. 
The
day did finally come though, where I had to go home. September 22, 1997 I
boarded the train to head back home to Wisconsin. I remember contemplating
what my parents would do to me if I were to not have left that day, or
used that ticket. I really, really did not want to get onto the train, not
knowing how things would work after meeting and the promise James had
given. Though we were now engaged, see the engagement section to learn
more... I really just didn't know. Somehow I mustered up the courage to do
it, and remember not looking back as I knew it wouldn't work if I did.
James said a little old woman was there as he sat and was crying, he ended
up getting up and going to his truck because it was unbearable. 
We
exchanged gifts at my parents house and then headed off to our hotel room
for the night. We had supper at Burger King - Hehe. I'll never forget
that- and every time which isn't often at all we are at a Burger King
James usually gets the same thing we had that night. We had the same meal,
a Chicken Sandwich and fries, with Hershey's pie for dessert. We fell
asleep early. James was sick the day he arrived and days before that, the
flu. :( 
I
can't remember November... can you believe? It was though 6 years ago this
year (2003) so hmm.