Kamado Tile Work

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So let's get this straight. You paid over $1000 for this cooker and this is what happens?
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This is how it starts.
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Dear god! The tiles that fell off fill a bucket! (Better get a bucket!)
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The Kamado company's suggestion for how to get warrantee service when your tiles fall off: FIX IT YOURSELF!
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Be very careful when trying to get that top damper unstuck. If you don't break the dome, you'll probably lose a few tiles!
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Doesn't this make you puke? How much did you pay for that cooker?
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Tile's don't discriminate. The fall off the dome, they fall off the top damper.
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And they fall off in great numbers, too!
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Are those hanging chads? Heck no! Those are hanging tiles. Don't worry, they'll come off in a second...
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There are so many photos of tile damage out there, it gets a bit boring, don't you think?
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The tiles fall off in small areas....
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....and the tiles fall off in large areas. Which will you get?
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That might have been a pretty looking cooker once upon a time.
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Tiles fall off blue cookers....
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....tiles fall off multi-colored cookers....
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....tiles fall off green cookers. Tiles don't discriminate on the basis of color!
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How can something this bad not be covered by a lifetime guarantee?
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Why do you have to fix it yourself?
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Why do you have to beg and kiss ass to get them to send you a few lousy replacement tiles?
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Why do the freaking tiles fall off in the first place?
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More tiles, more tiles, more tiles!!!
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See how they separate from the cooker in huge patches? Didn't they use any adhesive at all??
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This poor owner probably didn't even notice he was missing a few tiles?
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