Author's Notes: Due to the response to "Mulder And The Computer" I have found myself moved to start a tentative series. More stories depends on response to the first two stories. Skinner's next. :-)

Disclaimer: Straight simple and to the point: Mulder and Scully are property of FOX Television, 1013 Productions, Chris Carter, and probably a bunch of other people. If I owned them, I wouldn't need student loans. :-) Harry and Michael are mine, but I doubt anyone will want them. :-)

Scully stared at Mulder's back as he hastily retreated from the office on his way to see Skinner. During the time it had taken Mulder to print the report, he had hardly spoken. Whenever Scully would try to ask what had happened, he brushed her off.

Hearing the elevator doors closed, Scully closed her eyes and shook her head. She couldn't begin to guess what had caused this little melodrama to develop. Rubbing the bridge of her nose, she pulled some paperwork out of her briefcase and began to go over several hard to explain expense reports.

A few minutes later, she decided that she could use a cup of coffee. Standing, she placed her glasses on the table and walked across the office to the little coffee maker. Finding a filter, she flipped the strainer part out and after inserting the filter began to hunt for some coffee. Giving up for the moment, she went to the bathroom to get some water.

When she returned, she resumed looking for the coffee. "What has gotten into him?" She questioned out loud while she looked. "Great, Dana. Now you're talking to yourself," she muttered, pulling a coffee can out of a drawer.

She had just measured the coffee and started the pot when she heard, "Don't worry too much about Mulder. Harry just spooked 'em."

Scully froze, barely managing not to drop the still opened coffee can. "Mulder? That's not funny."

"What is it with you people? I don't even sound like him."

Backing into the center of the room, she chanced a question. "And you would be?"

"Oh, I'm Michael." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Uh-huh. Michael who?" Her eyes were darting around the room, looking for the source of such a bad joke.

"Just Michael. But now that I've introduced myself, would it be possible for one of you to clean me a little more often?"

This isn't happening kept repeating in Scully's brain. "Clean you?" Her voice rang of disbelief.

"Coffee grounds will mold you know. Especially in this dark little office."

Scully's hesitant gaze fell onto the commonplace coffee maker. "You mean to tell me that the coffee maker is talking to me?"

"'Fraid so. I'll admit, at least no one hits me, that's Harry's biggest complaint."

"Harry. You mentioned him before. And who would Harry be?" Scully began to walk around the coffee maker, careful not to walk to close.

The little machine laughed. "Oh, he's Mulder's computer. Just before you came in, he finally flipped. Kinda messed with Mulder's mind a bit."

"That would explain the way he was acting . . ." Scully actually found herself laughing. She wasn't sure if it was the mental image of Mulder getting his buttons punched by a computer, or the complete absurdity of talking to a coffee maker. "But, you've never talked before. Why did you both choose to start talking now?"

"Yeah, Mulder asked Harry that, too." Scully jumped when she thought she saw the coffee maker move, but decided it was just her imagination.

"And?"

Michael sighed. "Well, in Harry's case, he just wanted to jerk Mulder's chain. And as for me . . ." He stopped talking, and Scully almost believed he looked downcast. "It's not easy being the most overlooked appliance in the office."

Scully's only concern was that she didn't think twice about feeling sorry for the dejected little machine. "But why talk to me?"

"Honest?" He asked, and Scully nodded. "I wanted to see your reaction. I don't exactly fall into a category do I?"

"Now who is jerking whose chain?" Scully asked harshly, but softened her tone. "That sounds like something Mulder would say . . ." Her suspicion was growing again about the possibility of a hoax. "Mulder, if this is you, I'm going to do some serious damage. Starting with your precious computer files."

"Whoa, lady." A new voice said. "Leave me out of this. I ain't never done anything to you!"

Scully's attention was directed toward Mulder's desk. "Oh, and let me guess. Harry?"

"Right in one, Agent Scully. Nice deduction." A malevolent laugh echoed from the beige box on the desk. "Tell ya what, I'll let you scramble some files if you'll hook me up with that little dish of the office."

"What dish?" Scully was growing aggravated, but somehow managed to keep it out of her voice.

"Laura. You know, that hot little phone of Mulder's." Scully looked over at the brown phone sitting on Mulder's desk, seeing where her gaze had fallen, Harry continued. "No, not him. I didn't mean Tim. I mean his cell phone, Laura. I'm not sure how much longer she'll be around, if you get my meaning. Who knows how long until he loses her? Or kills her!"

"His cell phone . . ." Scully repeated slowly. "Well, I don't see it, I mean, her, here. Mulder must have taken his phone with him. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Agent Scully," she heard Michael say. She turned her attention back over to him. "Harry's been after her since she was brought into this four star establishment and she hasn't said yes yet." Michael's laughter was met by a glower from Harry. "Just you shut up, pipsqueak. We all know you have the hots for Agent Scully here."

Scully's jaw dropped to the floor. Unsure what to make of the comment she had just heard. "Uh, excuse me?"

"Watch 'em blush!" Harry exclaimed, but Michael stayed silent.

"Michael?"

The sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway, and Michael said simply, "Your coffee's ready Agent Scully." With that, the automatic power off function on the coffee maker kicked in. She couldn't decide if it was deliberate or not.

"Michael?" The footsteps grew closer, but silence filled the office. "Michael?" she repeated.

When Mulder opened the door, he saw Scully standing in the middle of the office, total confusion on her face. "What's up, Scully?"

Scully glanced from the coffee maker, over to the computer and back to Mulder. "I wish I had any idea, Mulder."

"Hearing voices, Scully?" She could tell Mulder's question implied more than was spoken.

Shaking her head, she smiled somewhat. "No more than usual, Mulder."

fin

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