Archive: Okay for Gossamer, others ask first, thanks!

Author's Notes: Don't ask me why I'm writing a Christmas story in June, I have no idea. This plot just jumped in my head and I had to follow it. I've always liked the episode Beyond The Sea, so here's my Beyond The Sea story!

Disclaimer: Straight simple and to the point: Mulder and Scully are property of FOX Television, 1013 Productions, Chris Carter, and probably a bunch of other people. If I owned them, I wouldn't need student loans. "It's A Wonderful Life" is a movie that I also do not own, and it's not used that much, really!

"I'll be home for Christmas . . . " The music filtered across the softly lit apartment, but went largely unheard by the room's single occupant. In the corner near the widow, a fair size Christmas tree glowed with the flickering of the strands of multicolored lights it held. On the couch, Dana Scully sat covered by an afghan. She had lost track of the time, having curled up on the couch hours before.

All day at work she had been quiet and withdrawn. Her reclusive behavior had earned her some concerned looks from Mulder. However, she was relieved when he didn't go as far as to say anything about it. She knew he had been concerned about her state of melancholy, but he had respected her need to try and deal with it privately.

No matter what, she always became reflective at this particular time of year. It was not easy to forget how on this night not too many years ago, she had seen her father. Or a vision of her father, she was still unsure what she believed happened that night.

She and Ahab had known their share of disagreements. And his unexpected death had hit her hard. Still early in her partnership with Mulder, she had felt uneasy reaching out to him about something quite so personal. In retrospect, she didn't know why she had felt the compulsion to not let anyone near to help share the burden of her grief. Only that it was just her way, somehow.

Mulder had offered to go to the funeral with her, to be her support when he knew she needed it. Yet, she wouldn't allow herself to admit that she needed someone. Over the next few days in North Carolina, he had stayed by her side constantly. At least, until he had no choice in the matter. He had offered, several times in fact, to take over the case so that she could have some time off. She hadn't wanted the time off. She was waging an internal battle as to whether or not to finally believe. Boggs had gotten to her, more than she would ever admit. She still hesitated to recall the particular events surrounding that visit to North Carolina.

Her emotions were running on the high end of the spectrum the entire time they were there. She had just lost Ahab and was still in the process of reconciling herself with that. And when she ran out onto the boat dock and found Mulder lying there, she was understandably edgy. For the second time since her parents had visited for dinner only nights before, she felt her heart drop down to her feet. Her lone thought being that she couldn't lose him, too. That moment put an exclamation point on the statement declaring her connection with him. He was the first since Ahab to so completely garner her trust, respect and even her love. She distracted herself by doing her part to make sure she didn't lose him.

In only a few days, her emotions, usually so maintained and controlled, had run the gambit. But through it all, she had stayed strong. It was the only way she knew how to help those closest to her. For her mother, and for her partner.

So now, even though time has passed, on the anniversary of Ahab's death, and Mulder's near death, the emotions flooded back. Tears were something she rarely ever let herself give in to. At least not in front of anyone. Even Mulder. However, this evening she felt her control slip, and she didn't fight the sensation. A silent tear slipped from her fast filling eyes, and traced a path down her cheek. She didn't bother wiping away the offending moisture, and it finally fell from her chin to be lost on the afghan below.

Earlier in the day, she had called her mom. She used the pretense that she just called to talk, but her mother, always seemingly a step ahead, had known better. The conversation wasn't a very long one, but was effective in reminding Scully that there were still those out there that loved her. Not that she really doubted it, but it was still nice to hear.

She could still recall Mulder's concern when she admitted to investigating without cover to a location that Boggs had described. At the time his attitude had infuriated her. It was later that when she looked back on the heated exchange while he was still bound to a hospital bed that she could read the concern in his eyes. He wasn't trying to tell her what to do, at least not anymore than usual, he had been scared of what might happen to her. Of what might happen if she blindly followed Boggs' words. In the end, it was Boggs' warning that had saved her life. Still she hadn't played the "I told you so" game with Mulder, well, not too much anyway.

Although unsure why, she felt compelled to call Mulder. Until now, she had wanted to be alone in her memories. She convinced herself it was just to talk. Turning off the stereo with the remote, she reached over and picked up her cordless phone from where it sat on the coffee table. After punching in Mulder's number she listened as the phone ran several times, only to be greeted by his answering machine. "This is Fox Mulder, I'm not in right . . . " She punched off on her phone and tossed it to the opposite end of the couch.

Giving up on the idea of sitting in silence and staring at the walls any longer, she turned on the television. After scanning through a few channels, she found an airing of "It's A Wonderful Life" on American Movie Classics. It wasn't her favorite Christmas movie, but it would do.

She was trying to stay interested in the familiar story line when there was a knock on her front door. Curious as to whom it might be stopping by at such an odd hour, she got up form the couch and walked over to the door. Cautiously she opened the door, suddenly not surprised by who she found standing there. In fact, she couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it already.

"Hey, Scully. Can I come in?" She noted that he had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket, and he was shuffling his feet trying to get warmed up. She nodded her head silently, and gestured with her arm for him to come in.

"What's up, Mulder? Not another case I hope." Her words were a little more harsh than she had intended, but chasing after some mutant or another was not what she had planned for the next few days.

He shook his head, somewhat sadly. "No. I just thought you might not want to be alone. Considering . . . " He let the last part of his statement hang somewhat open ended. His hazel eyes settled on her suddenly uncertain blue ones.

Mulder was almost ready to turn and leave when she finally responded. "No. You don't have to go. What made you think to come over?" Her question was somewhat muffled as she moved to return to her seat on the couch. She watched as Mulder removed his leather jacket and walked over to sit on the other end of the couch. He managed to move the phone just before sitting on it.

"I've known for a little while now that you were down. It didn't take a genius to figure out why. I would have said something sooner, but I knew you would want to deal with it by yourself. Tonight I couldn't ignore that you were hurting any longer. I want to help, if you'll let me."

She lowered her gaze, wary of letting Mulder see the moisture that had begun to collect in her eyes after hearing his concerned words. Hadn't she just been thinking about how she had avoided his comfort whenshe had lost her dad, although it wouldn't have been the end of the world to accept. Then why was it so hard to hear it now? She didn't realize how long she had been silent until Mulder cleared his throat and began to speak again. "Ah, well. If you don't need me here, I'll leave . . . "

"No." Her single word interrupted his statement, and the sight of her tear-filled eyes sent him reeling without leaving his seat. "I'm not very good at accepting help." She actually laughed before continuing. "But then again, you know that don't you? This is just a rough time of year."

When she didn't continue, he dared speak. He had been moved to silence by her willingness to open up to him. "Your father." She nodded mutely. "Do you doubt what you told me that last day in the hospital?"

Her head shot up, surprise again written all over her features. "No! It's not that. That week opened my eyes to so much. Too much, almost." She paused, noting the genuine concern that filled his eyes as he listened to her speak. "I had just lost my father. Then I almost lost you. Add on top of that Boggs' ability to . . . To . . . I don't know what it was he did."

Mulder didn't know what to say. He hadn't really expected her to open up to him. Now to find out that it was not only the memory of her father upsetting her. But himself and Boggs as well? "I hadn't thought about it like that," was all he finally managed to say.

Scully stood up and walked over to where she could look out the window at the snow-covered landscape outside. "I'm not surprised."

"Scully, I . . . " He stood and followed her path across the room, unsure of what he could say to make it right. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, when you needed it." He placed his hands on her shoulders as he spoke.

She felt herself leaning back into his offered embrace. "That's not your fault. I wouldn't have let you that close. I'm glad you're here now, though."

Mulder was again surprised by Scully's words. He turned her around to face him before speaking. "You don't have to worry about that. I'll always be here when you need me, Scully. I promise."

Uncertain eyes looked up into his own. "Do you?"

He placed his hands on either side of her face, and leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before he answered. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Scully. You are my best friend in the world and the only one I could ever trust."

Scully nodded, for one of the few times in her life, she was moved beyond words. And once again, she found herself fighting the now-familiar feeling of tears filling her eyes. Instead of speaking, she leaned forward and buried her face in the warmth of his chest. He barely heard her whispered, "Thank you," several seconds later.

"Don't ever thank me, Scully. I should be thanking you." She sniffed, and pulled away from Mulder's arms. Scully glanced over at the television, and laughed softly when she realized that the movie had ended, and she hadn't even noticed. Mulder looked at her with some confusion in his eyes at her laughter. "What?" He asked, a small grin playing across his features.

"Nothing," she said as she sat back down on the couch. "It's just that before you came, I was watching "It's A Wonderful Life" and hating it. Now I wish I had managed to see the end of it."

Relieved to see her mood improving, Mulder walked over to where he had laid his jacket earlier. "Actually, there is a mysterious apparition I was hoping we might investigate."

"Mulder . . . " Scully rolled her eyes as she watched him dig around in the interior pocket on his jacket. "Not tonight."

Giving Scully his best puppy dog eyes look, he found what he was looking for. "But someone has to investigate the reported sightings of this 'Clarence'." His grin broadened into a full smile when he saw the flash of recognition on her face.

"You like "It's A Wonderful Life"? That doesn't strike me as your kind of movie, Mulder." She watched as he moved to stand in front of the VCR and plugged the tape in.

He went and sat by Scully on the couch. "You wound me, Scully. Look at all the unexplained phenomenon in this movie! It's great!" Scully leaned back into Mulder's embrace, and they started to watch the movie with her leaning up against his chest. He placed one arm around her shoulder, and played with the remote with the other. "Merry Christmas, Scully."

She smiled, "Merry Christmas to you, too, Mulder." A few seconds later she added, "Thanks, partner."

Mulder grinned, "Like I said, no problem. Partner."

fin

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