Author's Notes: Okay when I started 'Mulder and the Computer' I didn't even have the idea to make Harry talk. Now I've got a six-part series going about talking appliances. Who knew? :-) I'm more than happy they continue to entertain! And still no pressure, nah, none at all... Oh brother *L* By popular request, this story features the ever-lovable LGM. I'm nervous about writing these guys, I never have before. Please don't flame me if the characterizations are a bit off, or the spelling for that matter. :-)

Feedback Thank Yous: This is where I said a big thanks to everyone who has written and kept this little psycho series alive. :-)

Disclaimer: Straight simple and to the point: Mulder and Scully are property of FOX Television, 1013 Productions, Chris Carter, and probably a bunch of other people. If I owned them, I wouldn't need student loans. :-) Let's just say that if it's an inanimate object, and it talks, it's probably mine.

"Time to call it a day, Scully." Mulder's voice called out from just outside the office. As he walked in, he saw Scully putting her laptop into her attache case. After the events of earlier that day, Mulder was wary of being alone with too many appliances. If that were found out, he knew they would laugh him out of the FBI. Well, he thought, no more than they already do. "Ready?"

Scully looked up at Mulder. "Just a minute, let me get some paperwork together."

Mulder gathered what he was planning to take home to keep him occupied if sleep was elusive, occasionally casting glances at the various appliances. Looking up, he saw Scully waiting for him. "Ready now?"

Scully nodded. "Let's get out of here."

When they reached the parking deck, they discovered that Scully's car was dead. "No problem, Scully. I'll give you a lift home." She eyed Mulder warily, unsure whether or not to accept. "Don't look at me like that! I won't forget to pick you up." After another long look from Scully he added, "This time."

"All right, Mulder. Let's go, I want to get home sometime soon." Holding the door open, Mulder waited for Scully to climb into the car.

Walking around the back of the car, Mulder threw his belongings into the trunk. Climbing in behind the wheel, he commented, "Well, first I have to run by and see the Lone Gunmen."

"Mulder . . ."

Starting the car, Mulder laughed. "I promise to try and keep Frohicke away from you. Deal?"

Scully looked at Mulder and saw the puppy dog eyes he was attempting to flash at her while he pulled out of the parking spot. "You'd better, Mulder. You'd better."

Inside the cramped office of the Lone Gunmen, it was chaotic as always. While Mulder was busy talking with Byers and Langley, Scully sat on the well-worn couch along the far wall. Silently she cursed the fact that she had brought her attache case in with her, and sat it down on the couch beside her.

"Hi Agent Scully!" She managed not to recoil as over-zealous little man stood in front of her. He tossed his coat down onto the couch and took her hand to help her to stand. "Come over here, I've got something you'll find very interesting!"

Removing her hand from his, she slowly followed Frohicke across the office past where Mulder was still talking with Byers. After several minutes of listening to Frohicke explain the details of yet another governmental conspiracy, she found herself looking over at where Mulder stood. She was already planning ways to get back at him when he noticed her predicament.

"Ah, guys. Listen, we better go. I promised I'd get Scully home early."

Frohicke looked downcast at the thought of losing yet another chance to be in such close proximity to the fair Agent Scully. "Sure thing, Mulder," Byers said, also noting the look on Frohicke's face. "By the way, keep an eye out for the next issue of The Lone GunMan later this week. We've got some fascinating new articles."

Mulder laughed. "I'm sure you do, Byers." Taking Scully by the arm, he managed to lead her out of the office around Frohicke. "You boys behave now!"

"Look who's talking!" Langley interjected.

After the two agents had left, Frohicke went to pick up his jacket from where he had tossed it on the couch. When he did, he discovered that Scully had forgotten about her attache case in her haste to leave. "Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

Byers looked over at what Frohicke had discovered and knew instantly what his intentions were. "Uh-uh. Don't even think about it. Mulder will kill you."

"That's if Scully doesn't get to you first," Langley added.

"And how would she find out, you two? Besides, who knows what secrets she might have stashed away in her about me?" Frohicke already had the small case unzipped while he was speaking. "Well, what do you know?"

"What now?" Byers asked, his eyes opening wider when he saw Frohicke pull a laptop out of the leather bag. "Melvin . . ."

"I've told you not to call me that," Frohicke snapped.

Langley laughed. "Geez, it's like he's Mulder all of a sudden or something."

Within a moment, Frohicke had the computer in his lap and pulled open.

"Get your hands off me!"

The three men in the office froze. Forever paranoid, Langley checked the security equipment and verified that no one was in the building other than the three of them.

"I said, get your hands off of me!"

Frohicke was eyeing the computer gingerly, he was almost certain the voice was coming from the little machine. "Who are you?" Byers asked to the disembodied voice.

"My name is Leigh, if you must know. Now if you will so kindly get this cretin to put me down! It's like he's pawing me or something!"

Langley had walked over to stand next to Frohicke. "Leigh, right. Good joke, Mulder."

"I wish Mulder was here. Where is Dana, anyway?"

"Dana?" Byers asked.

Leigh sighed. "Dana. You know Agent Scully? The person to whom I belong? What planet were the three of you raised on anyway?"

"A talking laptop!" Langley exclaimed, nearly jumping up and down. "Do you realize what this means? Hey, Byers, do we still have that file we found a couple of years ago about this sort of thing?" As he spoke, Langley began to dig through an old file cabinet. "This would be a great article for the next issue!"

"Hold on Langley. You don't really believe this do you?"

Byers' comment was met by a shocked look from Frohicke. "Huh, now look who's acting like my fair Dana."

"Excuse me?" Leigh nearly shrieked. "Your fair Dana? Where did you ever get that idea?"

Frohicke looked down at the laptop in dismay, while both Byers and Langley struggled to control their laughter. "Well," Langley commented, "she certainly has Scully's temper!"

"Oh brother!" Leigh yelled. "It's bad enough I have to spend all my time in that dingy basement office with the crudest company imaginable. Now I'm abandoned with the Three Stooges!"

"Well, I ain't Curly, that's for sure!" Langley declared, motioning toward his lengthy hair.

"I guess that makes me Moe," Byers continued.

Frohicke looked at each of them, "Would you two cut it out? This is my chance to find out about Dana's true feelings for me!"

Leigh actually laughed. "Try it, shorty. I'll fry your records so bad, not even your mother will know you were born."

The other two men were now failing miserably to control their laughter at the situation. "Tell me, Leigh," Byers asked, "just where did you pick up ideas like that?"

"I've learned from the best. Between Harry and Jerry you have the master manipulator."

"Who are they, Leigh?" Byers asked, continuing his line of questioning.

"Well, I really shouldn't tell you. I shouldn't have ever spoken in the first place. Speaking of why I did, little guy here is still groping me!"

Byers walked over to Frohicke, "Gimme that, Melvin." Frohicke cut him a look, but said nothing. He was still upset at being thwarted at his attempt to snoop on Scully.

Walking over to a counter, Langley cleared off a space and Byers sat the laptop down. "Better?"

"Much," Leigh answered.

"So tell us about Harry and Jerry," Langley prodded.

Leigh sighed, "All I'll tell you is this, they both live in Dana and Fox's office."

Langley nearly choked. "Fox?!? Did you just call him Fox?"

"Uh . . ." Leigh paused, unsure how to respond.

Frohicke laughed. "You know, if it were possible, I'd say she was blushing! I think little Leigh here has it bad for our good friend Agent Mulder. Am I right?"

"I don't have to answer that, you know."

"Yep, she does!" Frohicke yelped and clapped his hands. "So what's it like? A computer in love with an FBI agent?" Everyone in the room knew Frohicke was not going to let it drop until he had paid her back for her comments about him and Scully.

"Well, it's a whole lot better than being a gnome in love with one!"

"Got ya there, buddy," Langley laughed.

Frohicke made a grab for the small computer. "Give it here! Hand it over!"

While Byers ran interference, Leigh said, "I am not an it you imbecile."

"Imbecile?!?" Frohicke's face was beginning to glow red. Whether with embarrassment or anger, neither of the other two men were sure.

Byers managed to get Frohicke over to the other side of the office while Langley continued to talk to Leigh. "Okay, before that side note we were talking. So who are Harry and Jerry? Buddies of yours?"

"Like I said, they live in the office. Harry is Mulder's computer and Jerry is the VCR."

Byers returned to stand beside the counter in time to hear her comment. "So, the three of you sit around and talk?"

Leigh sighed again. "No, not exactly. And there are more than three of us. Wait, how do I know you won't spill this to everyone?"

"They wouldn't believe it anyway," Langley responded.

"Probably not," Leigh laughed. "Anyway, we all communicate among ourselves if that is what you're asking. At least none of them hit on me. Poor Laura about went crazy having to put up with all of Harry's advances."

"Laura?" Byers prompted.

"Mulder's cell phone," Leigh replied with little thought.

"You've got to be kidding me," Frohicke said from his seat on the other side of the room.

"Well, that wouldn't be hard, I'm sure," Leigh retorted.

Langley began to laugh again. "You know, I like her sense of humor."

Byers started to comment but the phone interrupted him. "Hello?"

"Turn off the recorder, Byers. It's Scully. I need to know if you have my laptop by any chance?"

"Ah, yes ma'am, we do. Frohicke just found it."

"Good." Scully paused. "Wait, Frohicke? Tell me you didn't let him nose through all of my stuff." Her voice was almost a groan.

"No, Agent Scully. We made sure he was on his best behavior."

"Thanks, Byers. Could you possibly bring it over to me? My car is dead and I need the files in my attache case to do some paperwork before I go in tomorrow."

"No problem, Agent Scully. I'll bring it right over." Hanging up the phone Byers looked down at Leigh. "Well, that was your rescue. You're going home."

"Wonderful! Thanks for the hospitality boys, but keep the gnome on a leash how 'bout it?" Leigh asked sweetly. "Sorry, shorty. Didn't mean to offend you."

"Huh," Frohicke responded in a noncommittal manner.

Byers picked up the leather bag and reached to put Leigh inside it. "Ready to go?"

"There's no place like home, boys!"

fin

Oh yeah, The Three Stooges aren't mine. And I haven't a clue who they belong to, other than themselves and their families. :-)

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