Leaving Ground Zero

(c) Kalvere. All rights reserved.

 

With his helmet in his hand and tears in his eyes,

He looks out over the barren ground

where once tall towers stood,

And spoke to his fallen brother...

 

I never wanted to be here

But I don't want to leave.

I feel that I am breaking my most sacred vow to you:

"We don't desert our dead."

"We don't leave our brothers behind."

 

I tried so hard to find you...

Although the essence of you is everywhere,

I've found nothing I can hold.

I don't want to leave without you.

 

You've come a long way from being the guy

Who cracks those corny jokes in the Firehouse kitchen.

Do you know you died a national hero?

Do you understand why I have to leave you here?

Will you ever forgive me...

Will I ever forgive myself?

You are my brother.

We are bound.

How can I leave you?

 

The gentlest of breezes

Stirred the fine ash at his feet

As his tears fell to the ground...

The breeze carried a voice to him,

If he allowed himself to listen:

 

My brother,

You are not leaving me

For I am going with you,

Just as I was with you every moment

While you searched this ground.

 

I am not a hero

because of the way that I died that day.

I was a hero because of the way I lived

all the days before that.

Perhaps I am called "hero"

By those whose lives I helped to save...

 

But more than that...

 

I was a hero to my son

When I taught him to ride a bike

And pitch a ball...

 

I was a hero to my daughter

When I helped her with her homework over the phone

while working a 24 hour shift,

and dried her tears when her puppy love crush

did not return her feelings...

 

I was a hero to my wife

when I brought her flowers for no reason

just to see her smile,

and when I took the kids for ice cream

so she could have some time alone.

 

I was a hero to my parents

just because I was their son.

 

Those are the things that really matter.

They are the essence of me.

 

And you ... you are my hero.

You have done more for me

Than any brother has ever had to do.

You were there for me.

I felt your fear,

I saw your tears,

I heard every prayer.

 

Your duty here is done.

This is all I ask of you now:

Hug your children, kiss your wife,

Smile when you think of me ... and live your life.

The tears you cried here will water the seeds of the future.

 

Go, my brother,

with Peace in your heart.

I'm saving you a place at the table,

But I won't expect you for a very long time.

 

It's OK for you to leave this ground.

You are not leaving me behind,

For you will carry me with you,

Always,

Within your heart.

 

And that is more than enough.

 

 

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(c) 1998 Copyrighted to Kalvere. Please do not reproduce without author's permission. Kalvere, the author, is a Minnesota firefighter and would welcome any comments at the following email address: [email protected]

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