| |
Thursday With
Koilu From: [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, December 18, 2000 3:29 PM
Subject:
Disclaimatory Note :
---------------------
The following incidents are absolutely genuine ,and the kallushap reporting
team bears no responsibility for any controversies that may result from this
release which in fact,is an excerpt from the autobiography of a kallushap
reporter.
Kallushop Reporting Team
14/12/2000
Bangalore
Priya suhruthukkale,
Annu Thursday ayirunnu.Njan officeil choriyum kuthi irikkunnu.Samayam
ethandu ucha 2 mani.Pettenu njan orthu : Vienna koilu land cheythu
kanumallo?
Vilichu nokkam.
Karakki seimens ile number.
trrrrirrrrrrr
hello?
Katta german accent.Njan onnu samshayichu : Valla
sayippum ano
eduthathu? Njan paranju :
Hello,can i get daiju,please?
speaking
Njan njetti ! ithu yavan thanne....Njan paranju
eda ithu njanada...
Oooo its you,man! O shit,shit,shit! long time no
see,man! ni oru karyam
cheyyu,ni ente officeil ottu varu...
oru 6 mani akumbom,what say?
njan paranju : ok da,njan varam..
Angane 6 mani ayappo njan nadannu valanju ethi raheja
yude munnil:
Atha nilkunnu,sriman Koilu..koode aro undallo..athu
jomy anu.
Koilu odi chadi vannu enne kettipidichu. ( Nalla
Nattam )
Man,ethra naalayi kandittu.Come on,namukku brigade
road vere
pokam.Enikku oru Music System nokkanam.
jomy yum varunnundu,entha?
Njan sammathichu.
Koilu orotta alarcha : AUTOOO!!!
Njangal paranju : Enthinedey auto?? Dey,ividam vere
poya pore..brigade
road vere..? nadakkam...
Koilu manassillamanassode sammatham mooli.
Njangal nadakkan thudangi.
Koilu nirthathe samsarichukondirikkunnu....
Eda when i was in munich,i saw my boss's music
systems,man....wow..what
a system,man...god...shit.... cost is 10 lakhs
...10000Wpmpo...hooo...entha clarity..entha bass...entha
treble...entha
effect..shucks.... Athil video cd play cheyyam...ho....what
effects....njangal eraser enna cinema athi kandeda..njanum JK
yum..hoo...man...aa cinema yil aa pennundallo athu nadannu varunna
sound
PSOOK PSOOK PSOOOK ennu kekkam...Appo arnold thiriyunna sound
undallo..athu..PSHAAK PSHAAK PSHAAK ennu kelkkam...athu kazhinju
arnold oru idi idikkum....athu PCHAAK PCHAAK PCHAAAK ennu kelkkam..
appolanu mattavan vedi vekkunnathu..aa sound anengil BDAANG BDAANG
BDAANG ennu kekkam... hoo...too good,man...too good...boss inte boss
inte kayyil vere oru system undu...worth 25 lakhs..hoo.. speakers are
too goood,man...hoo..shucks...ividuthe
systems okke
nothing..nothing at all...
jomy paranju : appo namukku sony showroom il pokam?
koils : ok man,poyi nokkam...enikkishtapettal ippo
thanne edukkam
njan paranju..ni cash eduthittundo? ethrayakum?
koils : ngaaa im looking for something in the range
30k to 40k...
Njangal njetti!!!
Eda maha papi! enthada ithu? 40k okke koduthu music
system vangano?
ninakku vattano????
Koils pinnem thodangi
Da u should feel the diference...enthada
sound...hooo..ee vellam okke
drip cheyyunna sound undallo..
athu PLUNG PLUNG PLUNG ennu kekkum...ee light music
undallo..guitar...athokke TWEEENG TWEENG TWEENG ennu kekkum..too good
man..shucks....enikku surround sound ullathu thanne venam.. no
compromise...no compromise at all...
njangal residency roadil koode anu
nadakkunanthu..road cross
cheyyanam...
Jomy traffic inte idayil koode odi chadi road cross
cheythu
apporathethi..porake njanum cross cheythu..
thirinju nokkiyappo koilu apporathu thanne...angottum
ingottum
nadakkunnathalllathe road cross
cheyyunnilla...
da koilu vada...
evide..koilu apporathu thanne full shradhayode
nilppanu..oru 50 metre
doore vandi undengil koilu cross
cheyyilla..
avasanam 5 min ninna shesham oru vidham koilu
ipporathethi..
koilu : man,bloody traffic..enikku pattathilla ivide....hooo...enikku
bayangara pediyanu...enthoru vrithiketta traffic? ho...oru german e
ivide kondu vannu vandi yodippichal avan oru divasam kondu thatti
pokum.. hoo...enthoru vrithiketta system anu ivide?? bloody traffic!
njan bahumanathode ellam kettu...
Nadannu nadannu brigade il sony show room il
ethi..akathu keri..
salesman vannu : yes sir?
koilu : music systems,please
( kadayil chennu chaya order cheyyunna lakhavathode)
Njangal oro systems aayi nokkan thodangi
Koilu adyam orannathinte munnil chennu ninnu : sony,6000Wpmpo,double
deck,ana,chena,mannangatta...angane
oru katta set anu sadhanam..koilu mothathil onnu
oodichu nokki.
Eda ithil surround illennu thonnunnallo?
Njangal paranju : Eda ippo surround illatha set undo? ellathilum
kanum..pinnano ithil? Koilu : eda aa surround allla ee surround...eda
thats something else man...eraser il avan nadakkunna sound
undallo..athu PSAAAK PSAAAK................... .....................
.................. Angane veendum. Koilu paranju : can u play
this,man?
Salesman odi poyi oru cd eduthu kondu vannu..ennittu athil ittu play
cheyyan thodangi. Koilu kannadachu nilppanu,set inte munnil...full
concentration. Jomy pathukke chodichu : enganundeda? koilu kannu
thurakkathe kai kondu angyam kanichu : shhhhhhh.. Veendum oru randu
minute koode koilu kannadachu music kettu ninnu. Ennittu kannu
thurannu. Illa,koilu vinu system ishtapettilla. Njangal neengi adutha
system thinte front ilottu.. koilu : play this,man. salesman athum
play cheythu. Koilu kannadachu nilppu thudangi.Disturb cheyyaruthu
ennu
njangalode agyam kanichathinu sesham veendum 3 minute angane. koilu
kannu thurannu : che,ithanu problem. jomy : enthanu? koilu : Yavanamr
play cheyyunnathu hindi cd anu..enikku music clarity and effects
measure cheyyan pattunnilla.Salesman,english cd u have? illla no
english cd. Koilu : shucks,man.bloody hell.ngaa salesman how much does
this cost? 420000. njan njetti..da koilu,ithu ichiri kooduthalalle..
koilu oru cheru chiriyode enne nokki..ithonnum oru prashnamalla enna
bhavathode...njan thettu manassilakki. ok shari. Neengi adutha set
inte munnilekku. salesman,play this. koilu kannadachu nilpppu
thudangi
veendum.Ithavana 5 minutes. kannu thurannu. Whats the cost,salesman?
46,0000. Koilu vinu ithonnum athra pora. Whats the power,salesman?
10,000Wpmpo. Poraaa.... Next set...play this,salesman...5
minutes...kannu thurannu...whats the cost...whats the power....
Angane avduthe ella set inteyum munnil koilu 5
minutes dhyanichu....
Last set inte munnilathe dhayanam kazhinja shesham
koilu vila,power
enniva chodichu.
49k,25000Wpmpo
chaaay..Koilu vinu athum pidichilla..
njan chodichu : Dey,dey..ithu kollamallo? 25000W
anallo??
Koilu : 25,000? chicken feed,man..ithonnnum
onnumalla..nothing..shucks... njangal njetti. jomy : Da ennalum
25,000watts ennu parayumbom? koilu : not watts,man...watts pmpo. njan
chodichu : da koilu ,whats the conversion factor? alla ee watta and
watts pmpo thammil ethraya difference? Koilu kettathayi bhavichilla...
Eda namukku next set nokkam.. njan pinnem chodichu ,same question.
What? conversion factor? Ooo i think thats 8. pmpo value vine 8 kondu
divide cheythal ninakku watts rms kittum. Njan onnu alochichu. Engane
8
akum? root mean square value vum Peak value thammil 8 inte factor
enagane varum? Da koilu,athu shariyavillallo? i mean,8 engane varum?
athu oru root2 allengil root3 range il alle varu? Koilu parungi : Ooo
atho? eda germany yil oro company kkum oro conversion factor anu.Sony
kku chilappo x8,philips inu x4,tecknix inu x7..angane oru list undu.
Njangal njetti : Enthu multiplication factors inte list o??? oro
company
kku oro pmpo anenno?? koilu : yes,germany yil angananu. Njan koilu
vine kaliyakki : poda poda...athengana oro company kku swanthamayi oro
method vazhiyano power calculate cheyyunnathu?? ninakku ariyillengil
athu paranja pore???
koilu pottitherichu : bloody )#&$&#$ #*)#$)#*$#$ ..............
................. ...angane 5 minute. Njangal mappu paranju . Koilu
salesman odu : salesman,next set! But set ellam kandu kazhinju...
Koilu vinu onnum pidichilla...max 49k yudeyo matto anu costliest
set..pora... Vaa namukku pokam. Jomy : Appo edukkunnilla? Koilu :
No,man..onnum kollathilla.Cheap things.venda,lets go. Njangal njetti
tharichu...yavanarada? Enthayalum njangal porathirangi... Ullil koilu
vinodu bayangara bahumanam thonni? 49k yude set kandittum ivanu
ishtapettillallo? entha team? hoo..sammmathikkanam.Yavante account il
ethra cash kanum...?? ho.....
Koilu: namukku kazhikkan keram,entha jomy?
ok ready.
Angane hotel il keri....
Koilu waiter odu..Waiter...Menu please..!
Menu vannu..
Koilu super style il Menu medichu marikkan thudangi.
Njangal kuthi iruppanu.
Jomy ..da enthanu order cheyyunnathu?
Koilu wait enna ardhathil agyam kanichu.
Menu vayichu kondirunnu..chicken kadai,chicken mangatholi,chicken
thengakkolla..ellathinum plate inu 300 roopa,400 roopa..anganulla
items
okke koilu marichu vidunnu..athonnum pora enna mathiri...
hoo...yavanu
ithonnum pore daivame? njangal athishayichu...oo ettavum vila koodiya
item thappuvayirikkum.. koilu oru 3 min koode menu parishodichu...full
concentrationil...ella items um sredichu vayikkunnu... Ennittu :
waiter! oru vili njangal aakamshayode kathiunnu...yavan enthu
bayangara item anu order cheyyan pokunnathu?
waiter vannu : yes,sir?
Koilu : three meals.
Sony show room il nadanna sambhavangal athode njangal
oru puthiya
velichathil kanan
thudangi ennu paranja mathiyallo...
Thirichu pokunna vazhi....brigade il thanne ulla ATM
centre aayappol...
njan chodichu..da koilu,ATM ethiyallo..vaaa ninte
kayyil card ille?
ninte account il ethra cash undennu
njangalum koode onnu kanatte? ethra laskham kanumeda?
vaa nokkam.
Koilu vinu aake oru light parungal.
Koilu angottu nokki...ATM inte nere...
Da pinnakatte. Ippo bayangara queue ..Pinne kanikkam.
Njangal enthu parayan...Enthayalum Jomy paranju
da,njan pokuva...pinne kanam.
Angane jomy poyi.Njan koilu vinte kathiyadyiyum kettu
kondu nadannu....
Mota arcade inte munnil ethiyappo...
Atha...
pad, sushen, dinkan, sanjeev Moootta ennivar avide
vayum nokki
nilkunnu...
" HI FOLKS !!!!!" Koilu Alari.
pad antham vittu. ithareda?!!
dinkan pathukke.. eda nammude koiluvaa..
padinu samaadhaanamaayi. koiluvaanallo..
pad: helloooooooo.. koils!!! enthokkeyundu pinne?
koilu mind cheythilla.
pakaram sushenodu: nee spainil poyille?
sushente pothuve thalliya kannukal onnu koodi thalli.
sushen: njaan engottum poyillallo.. enthaa kaaryam?
koilu: alla, kure naalaayille ivide.. athu potte,
ambi singapore poyi
alle?
pad: hey illilla. avan domlur -il thanne..
koilu: oh! us -il aayirunno? great!!
pad onnu parungi : domlur ennaa njaan paranjathu..
koilu: oh SCHUKKS!! (shucks in german accent)
domlurilo?
F@$# !!!! i thought you said denver !!
aarum mindunnilla. chilar mizhichu nilkkunnu. chilar
vaa potthi
chirikkunnu.Enikku thooran mutti.
koilu veendum: so guys, what are our plans? enthaa
paripaadi?
sushen: ambiyum samiyum ippo varum. sami ireland-il
ninnetthiyittundu.
namukku 2nd show kaanaan pokaam.
koilu:AWRIGHT !!! angane thanne...
appozhekkum ambiyum samiyum rangathetthi. koilu
paavam ambiye mind cheythilla.
ennittu samiyodu: SAMMIE!! engane pokunnu jeevitham?
sami: ( as usual, contradicting) jeevitham parama
sukham!! bhayankara
jaladosham!!
koilu: oh! jaladosham!! enthu patti? ireland-il ippo
thanuppaano?
germany -il oru rakshayumilla. it's f@$#ing cold,
man!!
vaa thurakkaan polum pattilla. saliva freeze
aayippokum!!
ithrayumaayappol dinkanu madutthu.
dinkan: dey, vishakkunnu. vallathum njannaam.
koilivinte treat thanne
aayikkotte.
ellaavarum kayyadichu sammatham prakatippikkunnu.
pettennu koilu: athu venda..njan kazhichu..
guys, i'll sponsor the movie! what say?
Njan njetti : anganeyengil angane! nadakkatte. (
Paranju
pidichu ini yavante kayyil kashundo? nerathe account
balance
kanikkan parungiyappo njan vicharichu...)
Njangal ellavarum santhoshathode nadannu - Symphony
yilekku...
symphony -il etthiya koilu poster aake mottham
nokki.
koilu: OH SCHUKKS!!! (iype style alarcha).
pad: enthu patti?
Enikku panthikedu manathu...
koilu: this is not the movie by wolfgang petersen,
man!!
ellaavarum antham vittu. enthonnu wolfgang?!!
koottatthil alpam vivaramulla sushen: edaa athu vere
padam aanu.
perfect storm. ithu hollow man.
koilu: anganeyaano? c'mon guys, namukku perfect storm kaanaam!!
dinkan: pakshe ee wolf-inenthaa ithra prathyekatha?
koilu ellaavareyum nokki onnu punjirichu. yevanokke
yethu country-kal
enna mattil.
koilu: athalledaa.. he is a german movie maker.
njaan avidullappozhum orotta german padam
kandirunnilla.
thanuppu kaaranam puratthirangaan melaayirunnu.
avarude standard ariyaan vendi maathram.
c'mon ! namukku samayam kalayenda!
Njan paranju : edaa pakshe aa padam ippo ivide
odunnilla.
koilu: SCHUKKS! enkil namukku thirichu pokaam!
ambi: athu saaramilla. namukkithu kaanaam.
koilu: NO!! enikkurakkam varunnu!!
pad: edaa .. athu pinne.. nee ...sponsor..
koilu: onnumilla. vaadaa, let's go.
Njan oru nimisham chinthichu.
ivide ninnaal swantham chilavil padam kanendi varum.
athu buddhiyalla. poykkalayaam!!
adutthu kanda auto-yil koilu chaadikkayari.
purake Njanum dinkanum.
koilu alari: indiranagar!!
Virandu poya driver 1st gear ittu parappichu.
Bakkiyullavar pantham kanda peruchazhikale pole
sthabdarayi nilkunnu...Olla samayathu vallathum kazhichirunnengil....
Koilu auto yil irikkumbol : Da dinka,auto charge ni
kodutho
Ente kayyil chillarayilla
|