 |
| Grampa Quotes |
|
| "Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch... " Lisa: Bart, do you realize what this means? The next time we fall asleep we could die! Grampa: Ehhh, welcome to my world. "Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answers to all the important questions." "I'm an Elk, a Mason, a Communist � I'm also president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason..." |
| "Now my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say 'dickety' cause the Kaiser had stolen our word 'twenty'. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles." Bart: I'm sorry I cost you your fortune, Grampa. Grampa: Ah, the fortune doesn't matter boy. The important thing is you're safe. Now, let's get that fortune! "Y'know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to." "They say the greatest tragedy is when a father outlives his son. I've never fully understood why that is. Frankly, I can see an upside to it." Lisa: Grampa, how'd you take off your underwear without taking off your pants first? Grandpa: I don't know! "I'm an old man. I hate everything but 'Matlock'. Oooh! It's on now." "He used to be smart as a chimp, but now ... he's dumb as a monkey." "I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?" |
| > |