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| Bart Quotes |
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| Bart: don't we get to roast marshmallows? Dolph: Shut up and eat your pinecone. "Come on Milhouse, there's no such thing as a soul! It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson." Bart: Hey, where's Homer? Marge: Your father is� resting. Bart: 'Resting' hung-over? 'Resting' got fired? Help me out here. |
| Marge: All right, children. Let me have those letters. I'll send them to Santa's workshop at the North Pole. Bart: Oh, please. There's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name's not Santa. Milhouse: Bart, my mom won't let me be your friend anymore. That's why you couldn't come to the party. Bart: What's she got against me? Milhouse: She says you're a bad influence. Bart: Bad influence, my ass! How many times have I told you? Never listen to your mother! "I think it�s ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas." Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you ask her to pass me the syrup. Lisa: Bart tell dad I'll only pass him the syrup if he's not going to use it on any meat products. Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in the syrup home-boy? "No offense, Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a whole lot funner than your half-assed overparenting." Bart: [sighs] I wasted five bucks on these. Lisa: Where'd you get five bucks? I want five bucks. Bart: Aw, I sold my soul to Milhouse. Lisa: [incredulous] What? How could you _do_ that? Your soul is the most valuable part of you. Bart: You believe in that junk? Lisa: Well, whether or not the soul is physically real, Bart, it's the symbol of everything fine inside us. Bart: [tisking sadly] Poor, gullible Lisa. I'll keep my crappy sponges, thanks. Lisa: Bart, your soul is the only part of you that lasts forever. For five dollars, Milhouse could own you for a zillion years! Bart: Well, if you think he got such a good deal, I'll sell you my conscience for $4.50. [Lisa starts to walk off] I'll throw in my sense of decency too. It's a Bart sales event! Everything about me must go! Milhouse: "Remember that time he ate my goldfish, then you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?!?" Bart: Krusty! This camp was a nightmare! They fed us gruel, they forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear! Krusty: [horrified] Oh My God! Bart: Well... actually, the bear just ate his hat. Krusty: Was it a nice hat? Bart: Oh yeah. Krusty: [horrified] Oh My God! |
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