| You know you're a Redneck if... |
| ---You can talk for more than 20 minutes on the difference between squirrel and rabbit stew. ---You have scars on the back of your hand where Uncle Jeb stabbed you while you were reaching for the last piece of fried chicken. ---When you see a sign that says, "Say No To Crack!" it reminds you to pull up your jeans. ---Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your hometown. ---You ever used a weed eater indoors. ---You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet �Ms. Right�. ---Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle. ---You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle. ---You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. ---You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. ---Your mother comes out of the bathroom and says, "Y'all come look at this before I flush it!" ---You mow your lawn and find a car. ---You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift. ---You consider a three-piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear. ---The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year." ---When you leave your house federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms follow you. ---Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds. ---You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors. ---You went to your mother's prom. ---You don't throw away used paper plates. ---You wonder why the feed you just put out for your animals keeps disappearing. ---You drink gas because you found out you can run two and a half miles per hour faster. ---You have more money between your couch cushions than in your wallet. ---You have $50 windshield wipers on a $20 car. ---You ask for all your teeth for Christmas. ---You think the ultimate beauty treatment is using Preparation-H to prevent wrinkles. ---Your porch falls off and more than two dogs die. ---You think a quarterback is a refund. |