This Section will have reviews on loads of different beers and lagers!

Will be based on:

Flavour

(Does is taste like piss)?

Alcohol volume

(Will it get you drunk)?

Smell

(Does it smell like damp matress)?

Fizziness

(Will it explode on opening)?

Looks

(Does it look a little too much like pale ale)?

Cost

(Are you just better of getting stoned)?

Stella Artois:

Flavour is good, gets better as you drink more, but doesnt turn into a dry sick kinda taste.

Alcohol is at 5.2% so definately strong enough to get you singing angels at the karaoke thinking your god's gift to women(ahem).

Smells ok, bit like a cross between turps and mens urinals.

Fizziness is good, not too fizzy so it cant be used as a rudimentry terrorist weapon, unlike some lagers!

Looks like lager, not piss!

Cost's quite alot for lager, but as they say it's "Reassuringly Expensive"

Carling Black Label:

Flavour is like drinking shandy mixed with water, you have been warned.

Alcohol is a pathetic 4.1%, will take forever to get you drunk, but will make you piss like the niagra falls!

Smells like diluted shandy and piss.

Too fizzy, i think they are trying to hide the fact that is is actually horses piss!

Looks pale, and therefore is dodgy!

Too expensive for the Knats piss it is!

Stryke 5

Flavour on this one is bad, doesnt taste like lager, tastes like DDT (for you dumb arses thats a pesticide, and is very bad for your health so dont try it out)!

Alcohol is 5% and enough, along with all the strange chemicals to get you seriously fucked!

Smells like bleach and washing up liquid.

Virtually flat sometimes, Hiroshima style explosions other times, opening a can of stryke 5 is like a game of russian roulette.

Looks like.................. Stryke 5, there can be only one! (please dont sue me highlander)

Very cheap, but you'll only find it in council estate local shops. So you'll most probs just get mugged on the way there!

Biere de luxe (asda beer)

Flavour is like french hoppy lager, but niiiiccceeeeee!

Alcohol is 5% which is good

Smells like mud (sorry but it does)

Just right fizziness, but since they in bottles that goes without saying

Looks like melted yellow snow I.E. piss

Not as cheap as Stryke 5 but the cheapest drinkable lager i have found.