By Kali Gargoyle
This is inspired by my love of body art and ninja turtles. Speaking of which, I don't own the TMNT, this is done for pure pleasure, and believe me, it was a pleasure.
***
I stand in a doorway. Beyond this hole in the wall is a different world where normal has no place. It has become a refuge for the freaks and rebels of this world. I straighten my tank top and tuck the bottom into my jeans. I smooth back my hair, wincing slightly as my fingers brush across the dark blue studs which adorn the newly pierced cartilage of my ears. I take one last deep breath, (though I probably shouldn't because this is a sewer, but what the hell, it smells better than my brothers' room) and enter.
"I've brought body paints!"
Michaelangelo looks up from his magazine. I can't quite catch the title because he shoves it behind his back and under the cushions as soon as he sees me. "Hey Kali!"
I look around. The lair is unusually quiet for this time of night. Almost spooky. "Where is everybody?"
Mike counts off on his fingers. "Raph's in a funk, Leo's practicing, Don's holed up in his lab, Splinter's sleeping, and I'm right here."
I have to smile. So much for spooky. "So you are. I never would have guessed."
Mike stands up. "Now, writer-girl, about that body paint."
I hold up my black bag. "I just got a new set of cosmetic inks and I added a few more kanji to my Flash book. I need the practice."
Mike rubs his hands together. "Let's get started!"
I sit down on the stained rug in front of their TV set and Mike sits next to me. I pull out my ink jars and brushes.
"Is this that cheap stuff?" Mike asks. He picks up a bottle of green and eyes it suspiciously.
"No, I know it gives you a rash. This is the good stuff. Do you want to see the book?"
"Yes!" Mike says, snatching the book away from me. "Never again will I say 'whatever' to you! That was not funny!"
I smile broadly as I shrug out of my jacket. "I thought it was funny. So did Raph. And Leo. And Donnie. And I think even Splinter smiled."
"It was not. And I am not!"
"Okay, something other than hentai this time. But it was funny."
"Yeah, about as funny as the symbol for Ronin on Raph's shell."
I had to laugh. I can still see Raphael trying to see the symbol in the mirror. The look on his face was priceless. "I know, I'm an evil, cruel woman. Get over here." I kneel at his side and wipe off his arm so that I can have a clean surface to work with.
Mike continues to flip through the book. "How 'bout sexy? You think I'm sexy don't you?"
I don't miss a beat. "Raphael is sexy. You are cute."
Mike frowns and looks at me with those big puppy dog eyes. "Just cute? Not nauseatingly adorable?"
I roll my eyes. "Hold still." I dip my brush in the orange paint, Mike's favorite, and begin my work.
"There. You are officially sexy."
Mike looks down to make sure I hadn't snuck in an unapproved symbol and nods. "My turn."
"W-what?"
Mike grabs my brush. "Now I paint you. I saw the perfect kanji!"
Before I can stop him, he's holding me down. He's bigger than I am even though I'm taller.
"Hey, wait a sec!"
Mike sits on my stomach, his knees holding down my arms. He pauses exactly one second. "Do you know how many of my dreams start this way? Hold still." He touches the brush to my forehead.
"Mike, if you do anything vaguely obscene I will kick your shell in. Do you hear me?" I don't move because as much as I don't want him drawing on my forehead, I really don't want it smeared. I have to wear this for the next three days or more.
"No." His face is really close to mine. I can feel his breath on my skin. He had popcorn earlier.
I sigh. The situations I write myself into. Though I can't really complain about this one.
"There!" He gets up. I reach for my bag and pull out a mirror. It takes a moment to match up the symbol with the backwards image, but seeing as how I work with temporary tattoos on a regular basis, I'm good at it by now.
"Hen? You think I'm weird?"
"Of course I do. You are. You have a reptile fetish." He smiles at me and I realize what he's implying.
"I do not!" I scream. Well, if I do, it's none of his business.
Mike gives me a yeah-right look. Then he leaps up and skips around the room singing, "Kali loves turtles! Kali loves turtles!"
"Dork!" Oh, yeah, so articulate. My vocabulary astounds even me. It's hard to think of a good insult in a situation like this.
Mike sticks his tongue out at me. Now I don't feel so bad about being immature.
"Man, this sucks. Some author I am, I can't even control my own characters!"
Mike crosses his arms over his chest. "We aren't your characters, remember? You can't control us." He lowers his voice and points at me. "For you are but a lowly fan fiction writer who must give credit and add a disclaimer." He laughs maniacally.
"Are you finished with the melodramatics?"
"No." He opens his mouth then closes it again. "But you ruined the mood."
I roll my eyes. "Sit down. I'll write Ninja Turtle on your shell."
"Okay."
He sits down and I pick up my brush again.
***
"What are you doing?"
Mike and I both look up at Leonardo. Raph and Don are standing behind him.
"Run out of paper?" Raph asks, spying our colored skin. Twenty minutes into the session, we are each five different colors with pictures and symbols and words. Mike goes back to painting 'live for pleasure' on the inside on my thigh.
"Wanna join?" I ask. It sounded a bit dirtier than I intended. Maybe the ink's getting to me. Or Mike is.
Raphael narrows his eyes. "Not after last time." He looks me over carefully. "You got two new holes in your head!"
Leo and Don snicker. I hiss at Raphael. I really do hiss when I'm mad. Then Leo says, "Come on Mike, it's time to patrol."
Mike adds the last strokes to the kanji and sets the brush down. He gets up.
"Wait!" I say. "I'm the writer here and I say you stay!"
"It's been sweet, angel face," Mike says.
"Stop!" I command in my most intimidating voice.
"See ya," Raph says.
"Bye," Don says, adding a little wave. Leo just nods as he leaves with the others.
I sit on the floor and pack up my paints. "This is embarrassing."