Alternative TMNT RPG Chapter 4
Played out by Azure Turtle, Kali Gargoyle, and Machias Banshee. Nothing has been edited from the original posts so please forgive spelling, grammar, tense changes, and insanity.
Summary of previous posts: A lot of needless stuff. It was basically just the guys beating up the bad guys. We did add a few new characters, like Oni and Frost. They're both Turtles. Oni was a good guy, who was possessed by a demon, and Frost was a bad guy, who regretted what he had to do. The Turtles had just chased Frost and some Foot down to the Technodrome.
---Azure:
*The module resurfaces, and Frost runs back out into the group of turtles with an Uzi*
Take this, you bunch of swine!!
*Proceeds to kill all the good guys*
Yes! I won! I finally won!
*Frost won*
(( LOL!! I'd never get to do that in the real RPG!!!))
*Frost returns to the Technodrome*
Shredder: Well?
Frost: I killed them all!
Shredder: Good! Now we can take over the world!
Frost: That's what you think!
*Frost uses his Uzi to kill Shredder and Krang. He spares Bebop and Rocksteady*
Bebop: Duh, what'd you do dat for?
Frost: Because I'm the new Shredder!
Rocksteady: Yay! A new boss!
*Frost orders Bebop and Rocksteady to lead an assault on the whole world with his army of Foot Soldiers*
---Kali:
((But I don't wanna be dead. *evil chuckle*))
Oni opened her eyes and looked around. she sat up and looked down at her bullet ridden body.
"Damn... not again."
---Azure:
(( LOL! An RPG with no rules! How insane! I like that idea...maybe we should do something like this on the real boards? ))
*Frost continues his siege*
Frost: Yes! Onwards, my soldiers! The world is ours!
*There's knock at his door*
Frost: What is it?! Can't you see I'm doing my best impersonation of a demented bad guy?
Bebop: Duh, sorry boss, but someone's here who claims to be your brother.
Frost: My what?!
*Azure walks in*
Azure: Brother, dear, I think you've been very bad...Mother told me to come here and put a stop to your insanity.
Frost: *pouting* But I was just starting to have some fun!!
---Kali:
((Bwahahahahahaha!))
"Azure!" A blur slams into Azure and knocks him to the ground. A blonde looks up at the other blue turtle. "Hi. I'm Kali."
Oni starts walking around, the bullets holes all healed, and unwittingly falls into the transport hole.
---Azure:
*Azure struggles to get up*
Azure: What in blazes...*sees Kali* Sweet mother of pearl! Kali, what are you doing here? This is no time to be playing games! I was sent here to bring my brother home!
Frost: *staring in shock at everything before him* What the hell is going on? Who's Kali? And NO, I won't go home! Bebop, Rocksteady! Do something!
*Bebop and Rocksteady surround Azure and Kali*
Azure: Uh oh...
---Kali:
Kali pouts. "You got to be here, I wanted to be here too."
Bebop snorts. "You shoulda stayed home, babe."
Rocksteady adds, "Yeah, then yous wouldn't get hurt."
"Oh, we're not getting hurt," Kali says. "You are."
"And what makes you so sure?" Bebop askes.
At that moment, Oni comes sliding down the transport tube and slams into Rocksteady and Bebop.
Kali giggles. "Because I'm the RPer, silly."
Oni peaks out of her shell. "Oww...."
---Azure:
(( OOh, this is getting interesting... ))
Frost is completely stunned that his greates warriors were defeated so easily. He notices Oni on the ground.
"What?! I thought I killed you with the others?" Frost sneered at the female turtle.
"Now now, no more of that killing stuff," Azure pleaded with his older brother. "It's time for you to go home. Don't make me drag you back...Mother's already angry."
Frost pouts. "Well, I'm not going back without a fight!"
"Fine. We'll do it your way. This'll give me a chance to get even with you for all those horrible things you did to me during our childhood!" Azure yells back.
Frost suddenly gets a shocked look on his face. "You mean you still haven't gotten over all of that? Geez! Grow up, little brother!"
"I'll show you!" Azure cries as he lunged at Frost.
---Kali:
At first Oni wondered if she was seeing double, but then she realized that there were two blue Turtles fighting before her. Kali sat down next to her. "Popcorn?" The blonde asked.
Oni took a handful. "Should we try and stop them?"
"Nah, it's nearly as good as yaoi. Ooh, that's a good idea!"
---Azure:
(( I seriously hope this is all deleted....LOL!! ))
Frost and Azure look up from their struggle. "YAOI?!" they both exclaim at the same time.
"Ewww!" Azure exclaims, making a face. "That's disgusting!"
"Ya, especially cuz we're brothers!" Frost adds. "And I'm not desperate enough to....to....yuck! I can't even think about it!"
"Hmph...that reminds me," Azure said, suddenly getting an evil grin. "Mother sent this to you personally."
Azure punches Frost square in the face.
"HA!" Azure exclaims. "Didn't you learn anything when you trained with the Foot? 'Never lower your head to an enemy!'"
Frost holds his jaw and glares at Azure. "How do you know that?"
"Duh," Azure said, rolling his eyes, "I saw the movie. Besides, I was trained by Master Splinter. There's no way in hell you can beat me."
Frost stood up and grabbed his spear. "Well thn. Let's see how well you do against my spear..."
Azure started to sweat bullets. "Waitasec, I'm not armed!"
"Aww, too bad." Frost ran towards Azure, who turned and fleed in the other direction.
---Kali:
Kali grabbed Oni's hoko. "Can I borrow this for a second? Thanks." She shoved it out and tripped Frost.
Kali sighs. "Too bad all the other are dead. I wanted to make Leo and Mike a couple."
---Azure:
Frost falls flat on his face. He looks up and growls at Kali. "How dare you stop me from killing my own brother! Because of that, I shall have to kill you first!" Frost prepares to face off with Kali.
Meanwhile, Azure sits down next to Oni. "Hi. I'm Azure. I don't think we've ever met."
---Kali:
"Hi, I'm Oni. I'm Kali's character. I guess. Is that guy really your brother?"
Kali stood face to face with Frost, twirling the hoko. "Bring it one, cutie."
---Azure:
"You're Kali's character? Cool!" Azure responded. "And ya, he's really my brother. But only in this thread." He sees Oni give him a confused look. "Y'know, thread? This is a forum...an RPG forum...you do know that, right?" Azure sighs as he tries to explain everything to a blank-faced Oni.
Frost glares at Kali. "C-cutie?! I am not cute! I am not someone's plushie! I am a warrior! No, I the soon-to-be supreme ruler of this world! You will bow down to me!" Frost attacks.
---Kali:
Oni nods slowly. "Sorry, but up until awhile ago I thought I was my own person."
Kali smirks. "Sweetie, normally I'd have no problem getting on my knees for you, but your attitude needs some adjusting." Kali charges at Frost with the hoko.
---Azure:
(( LOL!! ))
"Aww, that's okay," Azure told Oni reassuringly. "I didn't have any brothers until I decided to venture into this thread."
Frost stood still, shocked at Kali's words. "S-sweetie! And...and...I didn't mean that "bow down" comment in that sense!" Frost was too shocked to concentrate, leaving him a wide open target...
---Kali:
((Bwahahahahahaha!))
Kali, not wanting to actually harm her new potential playtoy, changed angels at the last second and swept his feet out from under him. "Ha ha ha! Never underestimate a woman's ability to totally disorient a male with the mere mention of sex!"
---Azure:
"Well now," Azure began, "this is interesting. Here I am, conversing with you, a character created by Kali. And over there, my character is picking a fight with your creator. Strange, isn't it? If Frost weren't being such a jerk, I think Mother would be a lot happier."
Frost looked up at Kali with an angry look. "Grr...we're not done yet!" He quickly twirled his foot in a sweep, trying to catch Kali offguard.
---Kali:
Oni nodded in agreement. "Things have been getting very strange lately."
Kali avoids Frost kick, but still pretends like she was hit, and falls on top of him. "Well, well, we meet again."
---Azure:
Azure nods. "Yes, very strange indeed. I'm sure we won't forget any of this once Krang deletes this board. It's sad, but it must be done."
Frost's eyes widen in panic when Kali falls on top of him. "No no no! Get off!!" Frost struggles and manages to get away from Kali. "Now just a minute! I'm the new Shredder! Foot! Join me!"
Suddenly, a group of 5 multi-colored Foot soldiers show up. They surround Kali...
---Machias:
*coughcoughorgycoughcough*
LOL!
---Kali:
Kali smiles up at the foot soldiers. "Hey boys!"
They all pounce and start to pound on her. She manages to crawl out, a-la-Mikey in TMNT2. She dusts herself off. "Pitiful."
---Machias:
LOL!
--- Azure:
*CURVE BALL COMING THROUGH------->*
The five foot soldiers suddenly stand up and get into a triangle formation. Frost runs up and stands in the very front. "You think you've got us beat, eh?" Frost sneered at Kali. "You don't know our true power..."
Suddenly, each of the Foot soldiers shouted out a word..."Mastadon!" "Pterydactyl!" "Triceratops!" "Sabre Tooth Tiger!" "Tyranosaurus!"
Frost grinned evilly. "It's morphing time..."
Frost cried out, "Dragonzord!"
Kali, Azure, Oni, and Machias found themselves surrounded by the dreaded Power Rangers.
"Now we shall get all of you," the red power ranger said.
---Machias:
Oh really...... *Uses TK to rip the zord thingy apart, picks up the rangers, and tacks them to the wall.*
---Azure:
"NO! You can't do this to us!" the yellow ranger cried.
"We were responsible for the death of the turtles! Just ask anyone!" the black ranger protested.
"We've never lost!!" the blue ranger exclaimed.
"You fools are useless!" cried the green ranger (who is actually Frost in disguise).
Azure snickered. "Nice try, dudes."
---Machias:
*looks at the green ranger and pulls off his mask/helmet*
AHHA!!! i knew it was you!
*pulls Frost down from the wall and hands him over to Azure.*
He's all yours...
---Azure:
"Thank you, Machias!" Azure said with gratitude. "Come along, brother. I'm afraid Mother won't be as forgiving as the rest of us." Drags Frost outside of the Technodrome.
"NO!" Frost tried to protest. "I was so close to finally ruling the world! Something that a character like me would never be able to accomplish!"
Azure manifests an anime mallet and nails Frost with it. "There we go. Nice and quiet." He drags his unconscious brother back to the Pyramids, where the whole family lives.
---Machias:
*follows Azure to the pyramids to meet his family*
Hey, does this family consist of the guys and splinter, or is this some new folks?
*Azure's mother sees them approaching and walks up to them*
Oh thank goodness youre back, my son. *looks at Frost* And what have you been up to, young turtle? I hear that you have been causing trouble again...
---Azure:
(( LOL! I didn't expect you to follow me! ))
Azure dumps Frost in front of Mother. Frost started to stir. "Wha...? What's going on? What happened?"
"Your finally home! That's what happened! And I heard you've been causing a lot of trouble!" Mother baps Frost on the head with a frying pan.
"OW! What'd you do that for?" Frost rubbed his head.
"Get inside the pyramid this instant! You are in some serious trouble, mister!" Mother angrily growled.
"Yipe!" Frost ran into the pyramid.
Mother looks over at Azure. "Thanks for bringing your brother home. Go on inside. I've cooked your favorite...mango pie!"
"Wow! Thank you Mother!" Azure exclaims.
Mother smiles and then turns her attention to Machias. "Hmm? Who might you be?" she asked.
---Machias:
Hi, im Machias, I'm Azure's wild lover!
---Azure:
Mother looks shocked.
"W-what?! No, wait, Mother! Don't listen to her! I can explain!" Azure stammered.
Mother baps Azure on the head with her frying pan. "I slave away at the oven all day baking your favorite dish, while you go out and find some girl to have "fun" with? Is this how you repay me?"
"But Mother!" Azure whines "She's just a friend!!"
"Don't you dare lie to me, young turtle!" Mother snapped.
"Wait, hold on a minute, Mother...would someone do this to their girlfriend?" Azure baps Machias on the arm. Machias glares at Azure, and he laughs nervously.
"Oh, I guess not...okay! It's a pleasure to meet you, Machias! You're welcome to join us if you like!" Mother goes back into the pyramid.
"Are you crazy?!" Azure hisses at Machias. "She'll expel me from the family if I started to date!"
---Machias:
Oww, how could yu do that to me, my little blue mango?!
Dont worry, Azure's mom, we arent getting it on, if that's what youre thinking. I'm a reptile too, just so everything works out!
---Azure:
Mother smiles as the three of them enter the pyramid. "I'm so glad that Azure is making new friends! I'm so proud of you!" She hugs Azure.
"Aww, Mother, would you cut it out?" Azure complains. He sighs and sits down at the table, while Mother takes out the mango pie.
---Machias:
~YOU didnt read my last thread, did you?!~
*smells the scent of mango pie*
That smells wonderful! Say, do you like Mango lassies?
---Kali:
Kali suddenly blinks. "Wait a minute. What happened?!?"
Oni looked up from her solitare game. "Oh, Frost and the Foot soldiers turned into the Power Rangers, but then they were defeated and they dragged Frost off."
"Where?"
"To someplace called The Pyramids."
"Thanks Oni. Come on!" They head towards the pyramids.
---Azure:
(( Eh? I thought you were trying to convince Mother that there was nothing going on...I'm so confused ))
Azure was so confused. He just sat in a daze, as Mother conversed with Machias about mango lassies.
Meanwhile, Frost was in his room, angry that he had been grounded. He was plotting revenge against Azure and his friends...
---Machias:
Say, Azure, I'd love to meet your dad. I bet he's a lot like Splinter!
Azure's mom = Am
Am: oh, yes, i bet he would love to meet you, Machias! My little Bluesy Wuesy would LOVE to introduce you to him!!!
---Kali:
Oni and Kali huddle up. "Okay, here's the plan. you go in and distract them while I bust out Frost. Got that?"
Oni nodded, then headed for the front door. (If there is a front door?)
Kali snuck around until she found the window to Frost's room, then she knocked on the window.
---Azure:
Azure groans. "Okay, fine. Is Father in the study?" Mother nods in response. "All right. C'mon, Machias, let's go..." Azure leads Machias to the study...
Frost looked up from the X-Men comic he was reading. He saw Kali in the window and gasped. He reluctantly opened it, allowing her entrance. "What are you doing here?" he hissed at her. "You're the one who challenged me to a fight earlier!"
---Machias:
So Azure, is your dad kinda like Splinter?That'd be cool...
---Kali:
"Hey, I didn't challenge you, okay? You're the one who started all this." Kali crossed her arms. "So, do you wanna come with me, or stay here?"
Frost considered his options. "If I stay here, I will be grounded to my room for a very long time. On the other hand, if I go with you I will very likely be ravished several times." He sighed. "I hate my life."
Oni knocked on the front door and waited. She hoped this plan would work.
---Azure:
Azure pauses and thinks. "Well, not really..." They walk into the study, where Father was busily working on something at his desk. "Hello, Father. I'd like you to meet my friend, Machias."
Father looked up from his paper work. "Well, what have we got here? A pleasure to meet you, Machias!" Father shakes Machias's hand rather vigorously. He rushes over to Azure and whispers, "Way to bag the babes, sport!"
"Father!" Azure rolls his eyes in annoyance. "This is sooo embarrassing..."
---Machias:
HI DAD! Im your new Daughter-in-law!
*accidentally splays claws*
Me and your little Azure-wazre have been having LOTs of fun...
---Azure:
Father looked on in amusement. "Wow, sport! Looks like you got a lively one! Full of spunk! So when was the wedding?"
Azure's eyes widened. "You're not serious, are you? Father! You can't believe everything people tell you!" He groans. "Um...Machias, I think you should put your claws away..."
Father chuckled. "Okay, you kids should run along. I'm designing a blimp for some very important clients. Go on now."
Meanwhile, Mother opened the door and stared at Oni. "I'm sorry, but I do not want to buy any Avon products."
Upstairs, Frost glares at Kali. "Very well. If I go with you, what will happen? I was the new Shredder, and now I've been grounded. I don't think I'll stay in this room."
---Machais:
YOU!!! Youre trying to help Frost escape, arent you!!!
---Kali:
~Mach, they're in seperate rooms.~
Oni tilts her head to the side. "Actually..." Think, girl, think! "I'm here to see Azure."
Kali smiles. "Oh, we'll work out the details later, let's just get you out of here."
---Machias:
~oops...~
Huh?! No you dont, Azure is MY love bunny, not yours!!!
---Azure:
Azure wondered what all the commotion was about, and sees Oni in the doorway. "Aw man, not more trouble..."
---Machias:
*Both girls rush towards Azure, grabbing an arm*
He's MINE!
ONi: NO, He's MINe!!!
*they commence pulling at him, stratching him across the space of the kitchen.*
---Kali:
Kali and Frost crawled out Frost's bedroom window. As soon as they were far enough away, Kali send a telepathic message to Oni. ~Okay, it's done, get out of there!~
Oni let go of Azure. "Okay, you win. Bye!" And she runs out of the house.
---Azure:
"H-hey! Stop that!!" Azure protested.
"All right. What's the meaning of this?" Mother glared at the three of them.
---Machias:
Uh-oh...Azure's in trouble!
*Quickly vanishes from view, letting Azure face his angry mother.*
hehehe
---Kali:
Meanwhile, Kali, Oni, and Frost are getting farther and farther away from the pyramids.
"Are we there yet?" Frost asked.
"Not... oh wait, we're here," Kali said, looking into the cave. "Come on, we'll be safe in here."
"It looks dark," Oni noticed as they went inside.
"Well, duh, it's a cave! What do you expect? Indoor lighting?"
Frost groaned. "I'm liking this less and less."
---