I LIVE! I am here still. Things have been really crazy and I haven't had the time to update. Also, I really haven't had much to write about or had much motivation to update.
I am still where I was last time, above my goal weight. I don't know where or how far. I can still fit into a lot of my clothes, some not, and most not as comfortably as I'd like. To me, however, the numbers do not matter. What matters is how I feel and I don't feel comfortable with myself. I don't feel free. When I was at my goal I felt free and felt that I could live life with out worrying how I looked or being uncomfortable with that roll of fat over my pants. I'm not at that place anymore and it's bothering me to no end.
Don't get me wrong. I haven't given up. I've always said I will never ever give up and to that I will hold myself! My motivation waines from day to day and is short lived. I'm finiding that my life becomes too complex and I become obsessed with working the program and then I become overwhelmed and WHAMO! on a binge I go! I don't want that either so I'm trying to take it slow and just a little bit at a time.
I'm eating well so far today and have walked 3 miles already and plan to do at least one more mile. I have a co-worker that has joined WW and walks with me and keeps me on my toes even just with her comments that kind of throw me back into the reality of being healthy. I have told her that I am going to next week's meeting and that she must hold me to it. She promised me she would.
One of my major struggles is at work. I just loose it! I think it's boredom and stress. At home I usually do just fine because I'm comfortable and even if I have stress, I'm surrounded with a soothing environment. I also can find something to do at all times! Now the key is to make my workplace that same environment. Do they allow screaming two year olds here? :)
Hubby gets home today from his hunting excursions. I have missed him but have also found that I felt less stressed when he was gone, even though I was the sole provider for Morgan durring that time. I think it is because I wasn't being torn in that way - that of being a wife. Kind of a weird feeling.
Morgan and I had a great time together. She was quite the naughty pants on Saturday. We tried to make gingerbread men cookies in the morning and we had flour and stuff all over! She didn't take much of a nap. We rented Bounce and Shrek. She did something very rare. She laid on top of me on the couch and watched the entire Shrek movie and loved it! She hardly ever sits still to watch t.v.
Sunday we went shopping at Target and she was just fine. In fact, she slept until 9 that morning which she has never done before. What a refreshing change. Then while we were in the grocery section of the Target, she threw up all over everything! Poor girl. I cleaned her up, changed clothes and continued shopping. She was just fine. We went to the Mc Donald's play land to meet some other hunting widows and kids. Morgan was so brave and climber all the way up in the tubes all by herself and didn't think anything of it.
Tomorrow afternoon we will leave to go home for Thanksgiving. We have two feasts to attend. It will be challenging, but I really want to get through this unscathed and in control so I am determined!
Take a few minutes this week to think about what it is you are truly thankful for. Not about others or about material things, but about the qualities you posess. Have a great Thanksgiving! :)