| Well, we all know that David isn�t particually the greatest dancer, so, in an effort to teach him, I invited to come along to my ballet class. He agreed, after a great deal of thought and a couple of boxes of cigarettes. David: I�m not going to make a fool of my self am I? (looks worries) Kaity: Labyrinth? Do I have to remind you that you pranced around in tights that were�well�they lived up to their name�Can you be any more foolish then that? Oh, talking of tights, put these on. (Kaity tosses a pair of ballet tights and a leotard to David.) David: (looking down at his jeans and running shoes) Can�t I dance in these? Kaity: No. David: Oh. (At this point he goes to change into the tights and leotard.) Kaity: (looking at David in the tights.) You just ruined Labyrinth for me. Actually, go put your jeans back on� David: (sighs) Fine� (comes back out looking somewhat better) Now what do I do? Kaity: You are my pas de duex partner� David: Wha..? Kaity: (saying very slowly) Puh�duh�duh�pas de duex�dance for two. Anyway� David: Are you talking in another language? Kaity: Yes. David: Right. What? Kaity: French. We are here to dance, not to discuss french terms. David: Why am I here any way? Kaity: David, we have already discussed this. You can�t dance to save your life, so you are here to learn how. David: So why am I doing ballet? Shouldn�t I be doing tap or something? Kaity: Don�t you already know how to tap dance? David: Well�uhm�well, you see� Kaity: ANYWAY!!! You are here to learn how to dance. End of discussion. David: (mutters some extremely colourful words regarding why he is taking orders from a 15 years old girl who comes up to about his nipples.) Kaity: (coughs) Ok, here is what we do: David: Can you not talk in French? Kaity: (sighs) I�ll make it as simple as possible for you, ok? David: Ok. Kaity: Stand there. Now, walk over to me�gracefully! And offer me your hand. OK, so far so good. Now I step up onto pointe, whilst holding onto your hand, then walk around me in a circle...not that bloody fast!! Now, hand on my waist, and I�ll d�velopp�sorry, lift my leg, and� David: That looks painful�(steps back to have a better look, but forgets that he is still supporting Kaity.) Kaity: (Screams, and falls to the ground) You idiot!! What did you do that for!?!?! David: Oops� Kaity: Oops? Oops!?! OOPS!?!?! Get out of here! (takes off one of her pointe shoes and throws it at David) David: Ow! I�m really sorry, Kaity� Kaity: (turns away) Piss off. David: (Looks stunned) I don�t know what to do� Kaity: Piss off. David: Now, that�s not very nice. Kaity: (Glares at David) David: Do you want me to just�um�go away? Kaity: Oh, now there�s an idea. David: Is there anything I can do before I go? Kaity: An ambulance would be nice. David: I�ll take you in my car. Kaity: (considers) Fine. That�s only because I�m in too much pain to argue. David: Can you walk? Kaity: (tries) No, you�ll have to carry me (flutters eyelashes) David: (picking Kaity up) You are such a drama queen sometimes. Kaity: (hits David on the head with the other pointe shoe.) Just take me to the hospital. David: (wincing) Ok, ok� � Kaity 2002 |
| David's Dancing lesson. |