Our Loch Nessie Monster

The Loch Ness monster has been the subject of legends since the Sixth Century,but it wasn’t until the beginning of this one that folk began to think the stories might be true.In 1931 a new road built beside the Loch made the shoreline accessible,and three years later a London surgeon caught the neck of the monster on camera.

The photo was published in the Daily Mail and the whole world went barmy and has been Nessie nutty ever since!A huge local tourist industry has sprung up and every summer there are monster-hunting expeditions on boats equipped with radar,sonar and underwater cameras,and there have been loads of blurry photos and further sightings of the watery monster,not only in loch Ness but in every major lake system in the world.but no one has yet got up close and personal with our Nessie.

Why did Nessie choose Scotland?

Coz Loch Ness is deep,peat ridden and sludgy enough for her to wallow in!Loch Ness was actually formed millions of years ago when dinos actually lived in that area.One theory is that a colony of water dinosaurs have become trapped in this small ecosystem and survived all these years.

What Type Of Monster Is She?

A Long-necked,water loving animal.Probably an Atlantasaurus,Nessie is a herbivorous(plant eating)dino the likes which lived in this region over 60 million years ago.

Could She Be A Spook Phenomenon?

Some monster hunters believe that creatures like Nessie may only take on temporary residence in our world,stepping back through a time-window into a parallel dimension.Blimey!

So Is She Camera Shy?

Experts have noticed a curious phenomenon that happens every time someone tries to take a photo of Nessie.Either she evades the photographer,photos don’t develop,pics mysteriously vanish or the camera gets left in the car!What’s also strange is the bout of bad luck which has hampered the Loch Ness Investigation Bureau.Since it’s observation post was set up in 1965(to keep continuous watch over the Loch for six months each year),nothing very remarkable has been recorded.Hmmmmm.However….

  • At the same spot in 1964 there were 2 good sightings by multiple witnesses.

  • In 1965 Nessie emerged on that one day the Bureau’s camera wasn’t working.(Bah!)

  • In 1970,she appeared minutes after the observer had packed up for the evening.(Double Bah!)

  • In 1971,top monster hunter Tim Dinsdale was manning an observation post with five telephoto cameras when the monster’s neck surfaced only 200 yards away.But he was paralysed with shock and missed the photograph,the fool!

    Nessie Imposters

    Ever seen a flutter in Loch Ness?Before you call the papers,have you checked that it’s not:

  • An Otter

    Often ‘lake monsters are nothing than small creatures like otters swimming near the surface.

  • The Wake Of A Boat

    Sometimes the ripples made by a boat can be seen on the water’s surface many minutes after the vessel that made them completely disappeared.

  • A Big Fish

    Apparently in 1994,Adrian Shine spectaculated that the ‘monster’ in Loch Ness maybe a giant fish-maybe a 20ft freak sturgeon!.

  • A Hoax

    Once some naughty locals fabricated Nessie out of a toy submarine and some plastic wood.Tsk!

  • A Hallucination

    Some experts think the force of believers’ desire to see her can be so strong that sigtings of Nessie maybe fabrications of the mind.

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