Well, if it isn’t Mr. run at the mouth, all-the-rage, Icehouse Hensley, returning to the BWF after a long absence and immediately giving cramps to the fingers of the censors.  Didn’t take you long to get back on the path, as well as the bottle, did it, Icehouse?  Oh, don’t worry, I’m not going to spend a lot of time nagging you about your drinking habit.  What you do on your own time is your business, obviously, but just for the record; it’s old hat around here now a days.  Cody Clark, Kyle Cross, Kirlia before she finds a new boy toy… it’s really not all that special anymore.  As for going from MA to PG, you really haven’t been paying all that much attention, cause Legend has really been turning up the proverbial heat when it comes to, ah, shaking the censors out of their small, confined little world.

 

Legend believes he’s being targeted cause he’s black, playing the racist card to try to gain an advantage here.  Fact is, at the time he was a much larger presence in front of the cameras, and in some odd ways, a roll model that the BWF was pushing back into the world title scene.  His tirades would do little good for the publicity of the BWF, so they had to take action.  In the end, however, he stumbled in the ring and found himself out of contention for the EC chamber, and then he tucked tail and avoided more humiliation when he failed to enter into the Battle Royal.  Now, I hear he may be back in it; whimsical, he is.  Anyway, as it were, when it comes to vulgarity and alcoholism, you’re more mid-card level now a days.  I dare say, at some point, it becomes so repetitive that it loses any sort of ‘oomph’ and people begin to over look your value here.

 

What happened that caused you to disappear for such a long time?  Not that I really care, but to come back and immediately expect to be elevated to the main event level and make the same kind of impact you did last year is asking quite a lot.  If I put my ear to the ground, I’ll likely here the ongoing rant of one XTC about this issue.  However, other recent events may be holding his attention and this particular situation has passed him by.  No matter.

 

Sorry, back to you.  We have unfinished business, you and I.  Perhaps you’ve forgotten our last time in the ring together, whether it’s been too long, you don’t care or that particular set of brain cells got eaten away by a bottle of Kentucky’s Finest, I’ll never know; but allow me to remind you with a very short video clip, just to freshen your memory.  Oh, and have a breath mint for the mouth, while you’re at it:

 

Back in the ring, Chamelion has re-entered and offers to shake hands with “Ice” Hensley. Hensley laughs, then goes to shake Chamelion’s hand… when Chamelion leaps back and nails Hensley in the chin with the Sweet Sound of Success! The crowd begins to boo loudly as Chamelion stands over “Ice” Hensley and, audibly, says “Nothin’ personal, Champ… it’s only business!” before grabbing his belt and leaving the ring with Raizzor.

I will admit to you, it kind of upset me that afterwards, you made NO mention of this incident, as if it were not important that a mid-card tag champion could take you down with one shot, right to your face.  No backstabbing, no secret run ins, I stared you right face to face, and WHAM! Your lights go out, big time.  I did this, because I wanted a match with you. Oh, I know it would have to be non-title since I already held the Tag-Titles with my brother, because .. heaven forbid… any one man should hold two titles in this federation at one time.

 

Insert Dramatic Pause For Effect.

 

The thing was, at the time, I wanted to show the BWF I could compete with the top tier in the BWF, and give myself a bit of a boost, so that when the time came, I could ask for a shot, and get it.. having already proven myself.  However, you were in the midst of fighting Adriana Garcia for the millionth time it seems, and as per usual, held her down and kept her from becoming the Undisputed Champion.  I guess that’s where you get your claim of being the ‘best undisputed champion’ in the BWF, ever; by fighting the same opponent month after month, and a girl, at that.  Way to go, Kiddo, you’ve certainly proven your worth as a big man there!

 

In truth, I take nothing away from Adriana, she is, in fact, a spectacular competitor.  However, for all your claims, your reign is over all a bit boring.  Granted, mine has yet to really begin, and I intend to silence the disbelievers at Happenstance when I defeat five of the biggest names in the business today, all in one night to re-unify the BWF and World Championships, and erase an doubts that I deserve to be here.

 

So, are you angry yet?  Is your rage seething, your ire stirred? I hope so.  I certainly want you at your top finest when we finally collide inside the Elimination Chamber.  I want no excuse from you when I again turn off your lights as you feel Chamelion’s Sweet Sound of Success.  I hope that whatever makes you stronger, being drunk or being sober in that ring is what you are, so you can’t say you were not at your usual best.  I want you to firmly believe that your history here holds as much water as you think it does and I sure as hell want you gunning for me!

 

I won the World Championship in the center of the ring, defeating Toxic who was not at his best, and while I’m very glad to finally be here, I have to go back to Broken Resolutions and my match with Legend to retain any faith that I earned this spot.  When we face in the EC match, and I survive, then yeah, my faith will be rewarded, my goals achieved.  You’ve had your spot in the light, kiddo, and now you’ve suddenly found yourself thrust back onto the main stage; but there’s a difference this time; the roles are predominately reversed… and even though I don’t have the same choice to offer you a shot, I certainly am glad to have you aboard.  You avoided me once before, knowing full well what I’m capable of, and now, like Torborg and the others, you’re locked in that cage with the Most Devious S.O.B. in the business today, and in for the fight of your life.  GOT IT?