I don’t have a story to tell, sorry.  No first meetings since I’m already married.  No wishing well or war with an old friend.  I don’t even have anything deep and profound to book end my promos with for this match.  I suppose that is a double edged sword, because some people want to see more of The Chamelion in the outside world, and others get upset if I waste a moment’s time not focused on them and the Elimination Chamber.  I’m not here to please anyone, save myself, so if you don’t like it, cope. 

 

Chamelion isn’t in the business of doing things for other people, because usually it’s for the sake of keeping him off his game.  Recent events did force him to change one tactic, but he himself realized there was a lot of personal stress involved with keeping up the complexity of the DVD aspect.  Since returning to his usual modus operandi, he has felt far more confident then ever before, as is evident in the following;

 

Scene fades in as Chamelion, in black faded jeans and a green sweater, as he sits on one of the corner posts of the BWF ring, which has been set up in the Belle Center and he stares around the empty arena.  This is one of his favorite places, during one of his favorite moments.  The calm before the storm, as it were.  Yet, he can’t remain quiet with what is at stake, so he begins.

 

Oh, Icehouse, why should I shut up?  For your sake? Hardly.  Wrestling is a thinking man’s game, so it surprises ME you’ve come so far if you’re not much of a thinker.  Actually, with all the booze and partying you do, it would not surprise me if you were down to your last dozen brain cells, and half of those called in sick.  The world owes me nothing so I am not sure where you got that idea.  I know what I owe myself, and what I have to do to earn even the slightest admittance from the masses that I am worthy to be here, but in no form what so ever do I feel I am owed anything.  I get what I want by working my ass off, and interestingly enough, in this business, that does require me to be a tad loquacious.  Of course, I can understand it if you’re angry and frustrated that my words cut you deep, that you have to strike back with unsupported insults. Heck, if that’s all your good for now, then I suspect your future isn’t going to be as bright as you’d hoped.

 

Check, one down, four to go.  It’s been an interesting experience dealing with five highly motivated challengers at one time, and while Chamelion prefers a singles match above all other kinds, once he decided to approach this as five separate matches at once, it seems to have settled down his nerves. 

 

Rob Torborg’s Book of Theories turned out to be no more then a few sheets of paper that looked more like a political campaign then a promo for our match.  Though I gotta ask, what the hell was that Diamond crap all about? It was comparable to watching an Uwe Boll film, little sense and a lot of confusion.  It’s been ages since I’ve viewed a promo with my eyes nearly popping out of my head from the sheer shock that something some incredibly bizarre could be produced!  While not an Oscar winning performance, kiddo, you may very well win a Raspberry.

 

From one failed production, Chamelion turns to another, albeit perhaps a little more made for TV.

 

Captain Marticus, now there’s a funny guy.  I make one small comment to him about ‘dreams’ and since then he’s taken the ball and run with it past the end zone, into the parking lot, and by now he’s somewhere on the interstate.  I get it, kiddo, I do, you are a comical man and that’s all fine.  We all know I’m capable of producing the same sort of material, but I felt the importance of this match required a bit more focus, a touch more drama, and a lot more intensity.  You want to party, crack jokes and say I’m long winded? By all means, go ahead, cause the world already knows who I am, and how I function, and up to now, it’s worked rather well for me.  If Ice Hensley feels I’m a long winded Bastard, then he must really think you’re some sort of hurricane, since you went over all of us again and again, instead of structuring your thoughts more cohesively.  Perhaps you felt that it would make you look more complex, larger then what you really are.  Maybe you’re just too confused by the complexity of this match, and can’t get a clear focus. Which ever it is, you spent time mocking the way I do things, presenting a strange ‘demonstration’ of my work, yet you seem to pretty much do the same.  Actually, let me go one step further, as I feel lately no matter what I do, someone is going to comment negatively on it.  Of course, that just means they feel threatened, knowing that my record here is a reflection of my talent. 

 

Yeah, I mentioned my record, seems to be the fad during this Elimination Chamber match, cause everyone’s doing it!  Everyone at one point or another pointed out my streak, and declaring HEY, I’m gonna break it!  I wonder when I’ll next hear that song, and when I do, can I at least get a remix or something, cause the current beats a bit boring. 

 

Na na na, na na na na na, na na na, na na na na na.  Can’t get you out of my head.

 

Sorry, where was I?  Eliminator, seems to me that you put wrestling over the safety of your wife, seeing as how you always turned your attention to us, more so then what was going on in your personal life.  I still find it interesting that the police would leave this to you and a gang, and that a lot of people died and no one’s come to talk to you.  The lack of realism is why I questioned you, and the more you stand by your word, the dumber you look.  Fact is, hey, glad to see she’s home safe, a miracle even.  Guess you really can pull a rabbit out of your hat.

 

Or a Bunny.

 

Okay, I missed another candidate for bad acting, and I feel this may be the very reason I chose to avoid adding my personal life to the bulk of my work here, as it would just seem to be sharing the wind with a bunch of blowhards.   Now, the only one with any sense of creativity, Cody Clark, still ends up bending realism in favor of piling up miracles in a single week.  It’s an interesting situation, and some of it reminds Chamelion of his own past.

 

Cody, It seems your war with Palmer is growing steadily more violent, and hey, I’ve had my car ran over by a monster truck courtesy of MVP, so I kind of know the feeling.  Got some good news for ya, kiddo, since it happened on BWF TV, check your contract; you could be eligible to get a new car at the companies expense.

 

Yeah, Jen’s gonna love me now.

 

I’m not going to get too far deep into my earlier confusion of how you could meet someone and marry them in a week, and then think that a hole in the ground had anything to do with it.  Why not give yourself some credit, and stop expecting it from everyone else?  Still, there’s the nagging whisper on the wind that I won my match against a man not fully at his best, one XTC, where as at the same time you won your match against a woman recently out of the hospital.  Neither one of us seems able to get any respect around here from the masses in that regard.  However, I take exception to the growing wave of supporters already declaring you the winner of the Elimination Chamber, and this fan base you spoke of, can’t be much different then the same noise I’d been hearing recently concerning my promotional tactics.

 

Funny, how one man can say or do something and it’s perfectly okay, while another gets reamed for it. 

 

The thing is there are six people in this match and everyone says this is their time to shine.  All of them at one point or another has held a major title here, some by fighting the best at the time, others by streaking by, but it doesn’t matter in the end.  What does matter is this; I’m the only one being questioned about my validity of being a world champion.  No one gives Legend credit anymore, since he lost the World Title, so my defeating him doesn’t impress many.  Toxic, well, not my fault the kid decided to up and quit after losing to me, and until the very moment I pinned XTC, people expected great things from him.  I guess that kind of makes me more of the underdog then you, Cody.  Ironic, isn’t it?  The only man in this match to never lose in the BWF, and people are trying to paint me as a mid carder sitting among the elite, looking for a hand out.

 

Does it bother me? A little. Will it be a problem when I step into the Elimination Chamber? No. 

 

Newsflash for all the idiots, I happen to be in this match because I am the Elite, the best in this business today.  Unlike most of you, I value each match, each challenger the same, well.. maybe not Torborg, hehe, but ultimately while some of you will degrade the likes of XTC because he’s ‘recovering’ or even Kirlia because she’d had medical issues, the bottom line is in the end, I am here because I never quit, never gave in, and that is not going to change. 

 

It scares you, doesn’t it? That in the end, after all that’s been said and done, the complaints, the insults, it comes down to the two current champions.  Sure, right now there are six, and right now anyone of us COULD conceivably walk out the true BWF Champion, but Cody and I?  We’re the current champions because we are the best.  The thing is, everyone seems to be jumping on Cody’s band wagon, leaving me in the dust.  That’s fine, let them, all the more reason for me to prove myself to each and every one of you. 

 

If you’re going to mock me, say that I’m not a true champion, then I guess I really have to beat the odds and walk out of the chamber the winner.  Then you’ll either be forced to admit I can hang with the best, or just live in constant denial.  Either way, no matter the outcome, I am going to put on the biggest performance of my career, and turn some heads while I do it.  If someone in this match somehow manages to defeat me, then yippee for them, they can have that one moment of glory, until they realize I’ll still be undefeated in one on one matches, and they’ll have to live with the fact that it took a group effort to get the job accomplished.

 

Come at me, one and all, I’ve experienced worse.  Rumbles, Tourneys, each one forcing me to push myself beyond my limits, and many, many times I have been successful

 

I just don’t think that’s going to happen.  I always retain my confidence level high, while realistically preparing for any situation.  What the hell do you expect me to do, come on here and say ‘I don’t think I can do this’?  Honestly, what kind of motivation is that?  I have an ego, yeah, but I’m not foolhardy about it.  I know there’s five red dots aimed at my forehead, each one hoping to be the one to shoot me down.  Cody can say he wants to wait till we’re last, that’s fine.  Me? I’ll take anyone out any chance I get, I don’t care what order I eliminate any of you.  If it comes down to Cody and me, awesome, and if not, perhaps it could be Torborg, now that would be hilarious. 

 

Chamelion does roll his eyes at that, and he’s pretty sure the majority of the BWF is as well. 

 

Sunday night will end with The Most Devious SOB in the business today securing his spot as the Main Event, coming out of that Chamber the one true Champion, because in the deep sea called the BWF, I really can swim.  GOT IT?