Scene fades into a local bowling ally outside of Las Vegas, where Chamelion currently is dressed up in a green bowling shirt with his name etched into it. He’s standing by the computer scoring system, looking down his lane while bowlers around him play their games.  He smiles, and looks sideways to us.

 

“This week has been very busy for me.  First, there was the wonderful celebration I had with my family in Michigan, before flying back to Las Vegas.  Following that, I found out that on Monday I will be facing Absolute Zero in my first ever World Title Defense. As you know, I’m very crafty when it comes to researching my opponents and I was quick to do so concerning Zero… but you see, as much as I must remain focused for Havok, there’s a much larger challenge looming ahead.”

 

Pushing a button to start his game, he shuffles around to pick up his bowling ball.  It’s black with green swirls and quite shiny, must be a new ball.  He holds it in his hands and continues.

 

“As the World Champion, I’m set to defend my title inside the Elimination Chamber at Happenstance, against four challengers and Kirlia Gardevoir… and as we already know, the winner becomes the Undisputed BWF Heavyweight Champion!”

 

He looks down the lane again, and we follow to find the ten pin set up.  But something is odd about these pins, and before we can move in to check them out, Chamelion elaborates.

 

“Right now, however, there are ELEVEN potential competitors to step inside that chamber on March 26^th, and while two of them are all but guaranteed, nine more will challenge this coming Monday to earn their way in.  Eleven; ten pins and one bowling ball!”

 

He lifts his ball to represent Chamelion, and the camera turns and focuses in on the pins.  Each one, painted to look like the ten other potentials, with a pink Kirlia as the number one pin.  Chamelion quirks an eyebrow.

 

“Amazing what a little time and money can do, huh?  So, here I am, at the top of my game, lined up to focus my aim on the ten others who at the moment are vying for those coveted four spots.  I see them, each and every one, and they are lined up for me to take down.”

 

He then sets the ball down and steps forward a couple of paces, looking out at the pins.

 

“Kirlia, in the number one position is our BWF Champion.  Behind her, nine others line up and you already know who they are, so I just want to focus on the number seven pin; Legend.  Kiddo, I very much would love to rebuke things you said this last week in your promo, but I don’t wanna waste the material now… should you win Monday, expect a barrage, and it won’t be pretty.  Torborg, in the number ten position there… earning yet another chance to be a champion, and in this cage, there will be no escape.. which seems to be your M.O. much too often.”

 

Backing up, Chamelion retrieves his bowling ball and steps into position.

 

“I’ve got 23 days to prepare, to practice and to learn all I can about what makes my opponents tick.  Legend, I know… Torborg, I know… Kirlia.. hehehe, I know.  It’s a start, and with careful precision……….”

 

Chamelion takes four strides and releases the ball down the lane.  We watch it glide as if carried by the wind as it soars down and connects with Kirlia’s pin, sending her careening hard into the side, and the ball then strikes the next in line and pins crash down everywhere!  When the proverbial dust settles, we here a collective moan from those near bye and Chamelion frowns sadly.  A Seven-Ten split.

 

“Figures.”

 

He sighs and turns around, looking sheepish.

 

“I try for a nice analogy for Happenstance, and look what happens.  But this makes sense, all I see standing now is Legend and Torborg.  And perhaps it will come down to the three of us?  If so, well, let’s not forget; I have a second ball!”

 

We hear the thunk of the ball returning and Chamelion smiles wickedly.

 

“Now, it’s absolutely true once it gets down to the near end, it’s going to become so much harder to secure a victory. A steady hand, concentration and above all else, confidence in my skills will earn me a perfect pick up…. You just watch!”

 

Silence follows, and Chamelion stands still as a statue… moments pass, and he moves, swiftly, taking those same four long strides and he releases the ball.  It travels down the lane, aimed perfectly to the outside of Legend….it tapes his pin…. His pin flails sideways…. It taps Torborg’s!!!!!! 

 

And it does not fall.

 

The sound of crickets can be heard, as Chamelion slowly turns his head. A slow wan smile creases the corner of his lips.

 

“Just once, I wanted to pick that damned thing up!

 

He looks back as the rack picks up Torborg and the pins are completely reset.

 

“Well, let’s hope that’s not a sign of anything, cause that would be downright depressing.  I have nine more frames to play, much more time to pick apart each one of them and strike them down completely. I’m not worried, much.  However, before I continue, there is one that is secured into the Chamber come Happenstance, and since this is pretty much assured, it’s perfectly fine for me to turn, smile widely and say, HI, Kirlia Gardevoir!”

 

And with that; we fall into the meat of the promo!

 

“Kirlia, first, congratulations on winning the BWF Championship against Cade!  I have to admit the skill it took to get him distracted by a couple of waving asses outside the ring was quite impressive…much more so then your entire match, which looked so stiff and forced, one would think it was pre-programmed!  Kidding, but anyhow, you did indeed score the 1-2-3 on Cade and became the BWF champ a second time… Admittedly, your record and achievements here in the BWF over the last two years have been interesting.  Each highlight of your career is quickly followed by backstabbing, cheating or terrible loss; a pattern which likely is going to continue on through Happenstance.”

 

Picking up the talc pack, Chamelion pats his hands to dry them out, smirking.

 

“Of course, this is not the first time we’ve crossed paths, as you and The Canadian Hero challenged my then partner Wacko Marko and I for the Tag-Team titles.  I got a chance to get to know you in ring that night, a little taste of Kirlia’s skills and attitude, and it’s served me quite well.  Now, there’s no partner to back you up, and your small 150lb frame is going to be mashed between five larger, more powerful men as you attempt to somehow survive long enough to come out the victor.  Well, based on what I do know about you; being locked in the cage with five of us probably excites you in a much different way!”

 

He smiles a moment, wickedly, before losing it and waving his hand in a ‘wave the topic off motion.”

 

“Let’s face it, you’re none too reliable, Kiddo.  You jump on any guy who’s your partner, sleep around behind their backs, set up with some sweet girl or two to form a cute little stable, only to get dumped just as quickly, and your wrestling skills?  Well, they leave something to be desired!  Now, I’m aware already the comments made about you being a slut, or how you responded proudly to enjoying a few romps in the locker room, but this isn’t the Oval Office, and your oral skills would be better served trying to out talk your opponents, rather then.. well, as much as I like the subject matter, this isn’t really the place for it.”

 

He looks around to the prying ears of the ally, many of them just eager to listen to a live Chamelion promo. Hey, everyone else can say the world loves them, why can’t he?

 

“Truth is, Kirlia, what you do in your own time is your business, and that’s fine.. it’s when you use that.. ahem.. talent of yours to get your way in the ring it becomes a problem to me.  I’m honestly going to try to not start any rumors, or believe anything I hear about you.  I know I’ve said a few innuendos, but in the end, this is about the greatest prize in the business, and you are way out of your league!  I know that this PPV falls on almost exactly two years since you joined the BWF, and you’ve come along way…most of that distance is questionable, but in the end, the records doesn’t record details.. which is a benefit to you, girl.”

 

“But, just because you’ve risen to the top of your particular mountain, you still have to look up to see me, and I don’t mean I’m taller, but I’ve worked far harder, done much more and earned this title in the most legitimate way imaginable!  I deserve to be here, Kirlia, and you and everybody else KNOWS it.  When I walk out of Happenstance the BWF Heavyweight Champion, I will secure my rightful place among the best in this business; and any questions stirred during my long tag-title reign will finally be laid to rest.  People will know that when the Chamelion sets out to do something, he does it.  When the Chamelion makes a promise, he keeps it, and when the Chamelion goes for the gold; he GETS it!”

 

“On March 26^th, 2006, The Most Devious SOB in the business today becomes Immortal in the eyes of the BWF, and no matter where my journey leads me beyond that day, that one defining moment, will live on in the hearts of all mankind, and that is something you can count on!”

 

With that, he rises up and walks around to collect his bowling ball.  He lines up, aims and takes his shot… we watch the ball sail down the lane and hit with precision, taking all ten pins down hard.  He turns, his Cheshire grin lighting up his face.

 

”GOT IT!!??!!”

 

Fade out.