**********************************************
"...umn......."
At the time, I didn't know it but I had been sleeping for quite a while. The air was crisp and cold as I took it into my lungs, but my body was wrapped in a comfortably warm cocoon. My body felt heavy and slow when I moved my arm to brush the curtain of brown from my face. I lay there idly, staring at the wooden ceiling without recognizing it for what it was. The sound of my own breathing soon became a tired lullaby hypnotizing myself back to sleep. Closing my eyes, I breathed slower and softer, not wanting to disturb the peaceful quiet. That was when I noticed the other sound.
Eyes flashing open I pulled myself up a little and looked around the room. There was nobody there. Bright sunrays streamed through the closed window allowing me to see all it's contents. There was a chair beside the bed I was currently in, and infront of it was a dresser. At the end of the bed was a closet and that was pretty much it.
"Wha....?"
I didn't recognize anything. Not the room, the furniture, nothing. I tried thinking back but my mind was still in a daze and refused to function properly. That's probably the reason why I messed up the next part so completely.
"..un_____"
I froze in position at the sound. It came from somewhere under the covers and I could feel *something* moving in there. Eyebrows nitting together, I gathered my courage and lifted the sheets up, peaking inside.
"Oh Jesus!!"
I threw the covers off and scrambled backwards as a pathetic means of self-defence. Only I couldn't go very far because the thing, which happened to be the naked body of a rather fair-skinned boy was laying on top of my also very naked body. I must have stopped breathing because my heart pounded mercilessly in my chest threatening to explode from the lack of oxygen. The boy, who was still groggy but quickly regaining his senses, pulled the covers about himself trying to keep the chilly air out. I just lay there, my eyes the widest they have ever been, staring at the person who was still half sprawled over myself.
"Nmm..........you're awake. How are you feeling?"
"......_______!!!"
Completely unabashed, the boy stretched forward pulling the sheets with him, wrapping them around his shoulders so that they covered his body which was now, also covering mine. Closing his big crystal blue eyes, he took my face into his hands and moved until our foreheads touched.
"hm....You still have a light fever. But that should go away soon. Are you hungry? Like some water?"
He was looking at me with all the gentle concern of a loving mother but I really couldn't appreciate it at the time. All my mind could do was continuously scream out to the gods asking what in the world was going on. He waited patiently though, looking down at me softly, his shimering blonde hair that looked almost silver in the sunlight, lightly tickling my face. For all intensive purposes, I should have said something nice, but then again, my mind was not working properly.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaHHHH!!!!!!"
"Woah!"
He fell onto the hard wooden floor with a kur-plunk.
"Ow! My head..."
I yanked the covers over myself in a pathetic attempt to save my dignity. Breathing hard, and wildly confused my eyes stayed glued to the edge of the bed as if I was expecting some sort of monster to arise from it. From the floor, the boy groaned; half in pain and half in frustration. A thunder of footsteps hurried towards the room even as he slowly picked himself up. A group of people crashed through the door by the time he got to his knees.
"Oh! Young master are you okay?"
"You're mean! You hurt my big brother."
"I'll have you ....head bee. Um...I mean bee-headed!"
"For crying out loud....Grandma Patty my robes please. Merilynne stop glaring at him, and Faylor no hissing."
The children, who couldn't have been a day over 6, immediate pouted and whined while the blonde boy hushed them and held up his hand stopping all arguments. The old grandma threw open the closet and grabbed the first robe she saw. Wrapping them around the practically naked boy, who was actually wearing undergarments which I must have missed in my shock. She made sure to rub some heat into his arms while she glared icicles at me.
"Thank you Patty. What a way to wake up. Alright. Everybody out. Go on. What time is it?"
"A little past noon sir."
"Thank you. Merilynne, Faylor go on and get some lunch. Patty make sure they wash up before hand. I'll be down shortly. Have Bragitta heat up some water for me."
Nodding, the old woman took the kids by the hand and made their way out. Closing the door behind them, the boy drew in a deep breath and let it out before turning back to me. We stared at each other for a while before speaking.
"Do you know where you are?"
".....I was hoping you would tell me that."
Nodding and smiling at me lightly, he came to sit on the edge of the bed. Instinctively I moved away from him but he didn't seemed bothered by my actions.
"This is Merilynne's, one of the more popular inns in Neire. I am it's owner."
".........."
I huffed a little and rubbed my hand on my face. None of the names he said sounded even remotely familiar to me. What was worst, the more I thought about it, the more my head hurt and refused to work. Tilting his head the boy moved closer, trying to get a glimps of my face.
"Do you remember what you were doing before you got here?"
"I....______."
What was I doing? I...faintly remember ....something....but...
"Can you tell me your name?"
"..............____!"
.
A wave of coldness washed through my body. I could feel my heartbeat rising as I continued to recall my past. All I could find was pure, white, nothingness. I tried to imagine people, faces, anything I should have known. It was useless. I couldn't even conjure up a general image of a person. Unconciously my hands moved to my head, gripping it tight, trying to literally squeeze information from within. There was nothing. My fingers wound their way around my hair and pulled as I scrunched down. Yet there was nothing. A completely blank slate. Not a person to remember. No voice to say my name.
The icy coldness washed through my veins again. But through the nothingness I somehow realized that the feeling was panic, anxiety and despair. I didn't know who I was, where I was, or how I got there. Was someone waiting for me? Will someone be worried? Did I forget who loved me most? But what if...
What if....
...there was no one waiting for me.
What if......I was always alone?
"I........."
Warm hands suddenly covered mine and guided my head down. It came to rest on soft, cool skin while the rest of me was wrapped in a gentle envelope. It took a moment for me to realize that the boy had embraced me and my head was resting in the crook of his neck. He said nothing and simply held me. Closing my eyes I made my mind stop it's chaotic whirlwind and slowly relaxed. I took a deep breath, marveling at the light scent of lilac. Then, the boy spoke.
As if to demonstrate he moved his fingers to the back of my head, lightly tracing a prominent bump. I flinched when they grazed a particularly sore spot. Moving back, I looked searchingly into his eyes, hoping that he could tell me more. Sensing my intentions, he looked back sadly and shook his head.
"I wish I could tell you more, but that is all I know. I found you when I ......when I was at Eternal Lake. You almost drowned."
"......I don't remember that. Or the whatever lake you are talking about."
".........." "Perhaps if you return it will spark a memory. ........... But for now, you must rest."
Getting up, he motioned for me to settle back down, and went to gather more blankets from the closet. He spread and layed them over me, tucking the edges in under the mattress.
"Your fever has gone down significantly, but it's still lingering. Rest for today and you should be on your feet by tomorrow. I'll have Patty bring you some soup and bread. You've been sleeping for three days, you must be hungry."
"........."
"If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask. We're all friendly people here."
"..........can I ask you something?"
He looked at me with such an innocent smile, it almost stopped me from asking. But for some reason or another, it really bothered me and I thought I might as well get it off my chest. Admittedly, it probably wasn't one of the most intelligent things I've ever done in my life.
"Why were you ......sleeping with me? Or on me whatever."
"You were cold. I was trying to get you warm."
Such a simple answer. And I should have left it at that. But stupidity is the bane of mankind's existance.
"Do you sleep with all your guests?"
"______"
"OW!"
Eyes narrow, not the hospitable expression he had on before, the blonde boy grabbed my ear and twisted it hard. I yelped and scrambled under the hold and realized why the children from before had obeyed him without question. Poor kids.
"As much as I have sympathy for your amnesia, I will not tolerate any disrespect. Joking or no. Never, ever mock my honour. Is that understood?"
"Yeah I get it...ow leggo..ow ow OW. YES I'm sorry!"
"Good."
At last, he let go. I knit my brows and rubbed my ear making a mental note to myself not to piss off this guy again. Some shuffling caught my attention and I turned back to the blonde boy trying to see what he was doing. He pulled out some clothes from the dresser and placed them on the chair beside the bed.
"Do you recognized these?"
"......No."
Letting out a little sigh, he lifted a necklace from the pile and held it up infront of me. There were two small metal plates hanging from the chain with what looked like engravings on it. I caught them in my hand and took a closer look.
"Can you read what it says?"
"Trowa Barton. Uninspired by metal alloys."
"Does it mean anything to you?"
I thought about it for a second. But neither rung a bell although I did recognize the last part of the inscription to be a rather tasteless joke. I turned back to him and shook my head.
"These clothes belong to you and that was hanging around your neck. That's everything you had on you."
".......just this..."
"I'm afraid so. .....well, look on the bright side. You can read. That will come in handy around here. It's quite rare. Only higher class citizens can do so. Maybe if we spread the word around, someone will recognize you and can tell us who you really are."
I continued looking at the tags on the necklace. This is all I have. Perhaps the only key to my past. A name I didn't know and a silly joke. Life seems very bleak right now.
"I haven't introduced myself yet have I? My name is Quatre Raberba Winner. I am the master of this inn."
".....I'd tell you who I am but I don't know it myself."
"well.........I'll leave you some time alone. ....... Good day."
And with that he left, closing the door lightly behind him. The necklace became my focus of attention for god knows how long. I stared at it and it stared back at me. Yet it would tell me nothing, and my mind would not tell me who this Trowa person was. Finally, when I couldn't stand to look at the plates anymore, I closed my eyes and let my arm cover my forehead. Maybe if I went to sleep, I would wake up and this will all go away. With that hope in mind, I let myself drift; noticing for the first time how cold the room really was.
******************************************************
"Well dear, looks like the young master was right. Here let me help you up dear."
Turning around, she put surprisingly strong arms under mine and lifted til I was in a sitting position. She patted me lightly once I was up and gave a little woop when the got a good look at me. Much to my discomfort.
"Woooh dear. Aren't you a darling fella. I haven't seen a body like that since the good years of my husband. Bless his soul."
"Uh......thank you."
"ooh you're welcome sweety. Let me get you something so you don't start freezing you poor darling. Wouldn't want that fine tushie to catch a cold now would we?"
Oh dear god. The nightmare has yet to end. At that point I realized that this was not a dream and that no matter how much I wanted, I was stuck here with these strange people. The woman came back with a warm looking fuzzy cotten robe and wrapped it around my bare shoulders.
"There you go. Are you up to some stew? Can't get it any where else."
"Yes. Thank you. I'm famished."
"Awww. Well aren't you a well spoken fine young man. Ooooh. I forgot to tell you I'm Patty LaMell. Call me grandma Patty everybody does. Alright sweety?"
I couldn't be sure, but I assumed that even with my memory, I wasn't much of a tough guy infront of overbearing members of the female species. It took a lot of convincing, but I eventually managed to keep Patty from smothering me with her tender loving care. She had wanted to dress me from head to toe, but I insisted I could handle it and very difficultly dressed below the covers. Then she wanted to feed me the soup. That took quite a bit of work but in the end, I was left with the spoon, and the tray on my lap.
"How do you like the stew dear?"
The liquid portion was savoury and not too salty. Plus the meat was so tender, it practially melted in your mouth. The vegatables were soft but not mushy which made for great texture. Even if I hadn't starved for three days, I would have wolfed it down anyways.
"It's very good. I don't think I've ever had anything this good."
"Ooooh dear that's so sweet of you. Don't forget to tell that to the master when he comes around to look at you. He doesn't get the praise he desearves."
"Quatre made this?"
"Why yes. Of course. The master makes most of the dishes we serve to our guests. We're very famous you know. People come from all around just to eat and sleep under our roof."
".....really."
"Oh yes. Merilynne's is quite the dish. Ha ha. And quite a dish to look at. I dare say we have the finest looking bunch in all of Neira."
I stopped in midchew to look at her questioningly, then swallowed and went for the roll on the dainty plate.
"What is Neira?"
The old woman looked absolutely shocked at my question and reached into her dress to pull out her glasses. She squinted at me, then sat back, completely agast.
"My, you must have hit your head really hard honey. Neira is this very kingdom. A fine kingdom it is. With a good king and a good queen. Beautiful couple they are. And the sweetest prince there ever was. Right you are."
<<knock knock>>
We both turned to see Quatre standing quietly behind the door. He smiled slightly at Patty and nodded his head signalling for her to go. She smiled and nodded in return, giving me pat and a wink before she left. Carrying an oil lamp, Quatre strolled in and closed the door. He was wearing some very simple but elegant translucent white robes that seemed to flow around his body. White pants and some fabric boots held in place by criss-crossing strings completed the ensemble. I have no recollection of what should be 'normal' to me, but for some reason, I felt that what he was wearing, didn't seem quite normal. Nor did the dress of the others look anything besides extraordinary. Although, so far I have only managed to see 4 other people.
Quatre suddenly cleared his throat and it wasn't til then that I realized I was staring.
"Sorry. It's just that...."
"Yes?"
"You look....weird .....to me..."
That didn't go down very well. He narrowed his eyes and me and I almost wanted to cover my ears to protect them. He didn't try to twist them but instead, lifted the lamp to me then set it on the dresser.
"This lamp is for you. In case you should need anything like go to the laboratory and what not. The sun will be setting soon. I'll give you a tour of the place shortly. Have you finished your meal?"
"Not yet."
"Very well, I'll come back later."
Not sparing me a second glance, he headed for the door. Probably because he was the first person I woke up to and by some chick-hen mentality, I didn't want him to be upset with me. Remembering what Patty had just told me, I blurted out anything that could possibly get his attention.
"Am I in the way?"
That got him to stop, much to my relief. He turned around with a confused expression on his face.
"Parden?"
"Patty...said that this is a popular place...... So am I in the way? Of your business I mean."
He looked at me and thought about it for a second. Then sighed lightly.
"I suppose on some level. But I can't say you're in the way. It's ...just difficult right now. I can't find a suitable room for you because all the guestrooms are taken, and the live-in quarters are full. And I'm just thinking of what we're going to do with you tonight. It's suppose to be very cold and there is no fireplace here. This isn't a room really, more of a den if you will where I use to get away from it all sometimes. I'm sorry I couldn't get you anything better."
He fell back into silence, obviously in thought. I wisely kept my mouth shut this time, giving him room to think. After an extended period he breathed in deeply and let it out, having found no solution to the problem.
"Please. Continue your meal. Don't stop on my account. I've already eaten."
"......the stew is delicious."
He smiled ruefully to my surprise.
"Patty tell you to say that? No don't try to deny it. I saw that wink earlier. That woman is always trying to get people to boost my ego which really needs no boosting."
I stared at him stupidly. This boy had a strange way of suddenly coming to life then dropping back to the aloof master of the house. I finished the rest of my stew and bread quickly, unable to savour the delicious meal in his awkward presence.
***************************
"This is the main hall....."
He led me through the corridors of the large wood and clay buidling. The guestrooms were on the second and third floors, the first belonging to the masters and the live-ins. Live-ins are workers who live at the inn. Those included Patty and several other men and women whom he said I would meet shortly. The bathing quarters were quite intersting. It was separated into male and female sides of course, but it was generally a collect bath. There was an area with taps for washing, then several pools. The pools of water are heated by throwing in hot stones from the fireplace. This of course, was only done when needed.
Next we moved on to the dining hall on the other side of the building. It was very large and glamourous. Small rectangular tables were lined together to make long tables whenever large groups dropped by. A huge fireplace at the end of the hall provided heat to the room. Beautiful red velvet curtains hung on the windows and over head were many glorious chandeliers.
"How do you light those?"
"Curt, one of our live-ins, lights them near supper time by climbing on a ladder. Quite painstaking but he's very good and never complains."
"Hm........This place is more extravagent than I thought."
"You'd be surprised. Come on."
Next he showed me to the sitting room where huge lounge chairs and soft, almost cloud-like carpets lined the floor. Gorgeous paintings of the four seasons hung on the wall and a grande piano sat in the corner of the room. I was speechless. This place is like a rich man's mansion. Not just some crummy inn.
"Yes. I built it infact. On the ashes of my old home."
Quatre had said the last bit with a hint of bitterness in his voice. A part of me wanted to know, but the other cautioned me not to tred in troubled waters. Without prompt, he let the subject drop and led me back upstairs to the second floor where my room, er den was.
"Do you remember the way?"
"I think so. The bathrooms, my 'room' and yours at the very least."
"Good that's all you need for now. The sun is setting, we must hurry."
Opening the closet again, he fished out two slightly heavier robes and tossed one to me. I put it on even as he headed out the door. We rushed down the stairs, nodding and greeting anyone we encountered, then headed towards the back. At first I thought he was showing me the barnyard, but when we rushed past the cows, pigs, and chickens I knew that wasn't it.
"Where are we going?"
"To Eternal Lake."
"Why?"
"Because, that's where everything starts."
*********************************************
Taking my hand, Quatre led me to the edge of the water. He probably thought that I was afraid of it, since I had frozen in place before, but in truth, I was marveling at the natural beauty surrounding me.
"This is Eternal Lake. I found you here."
"Is the water deep?"
"No. At most it reaches beyond my ears but that's as deep as it can get. You should be able to stand in it with your head out of the water."
"........."
Not minding the cold, I walked into the lake strolling further out until the water reached my knees. Then I stopped and stood frozen in place. The rippling waves died down one by one and the surface eventually became smooth as glass once more. Quatre simple stood back at the edge watching me, letting me explore one of the few links to my past. I continued to stand there, not thinking of anything in particular. I listened to the wind and rustling leaves until the last rays of light died away and was replaced by the navy blue night.
"If you keep standing there you're going to get sick again."
I bowed my head knowing that he was right. How many hours had I stood there doing absolutely nothing? I scolded myself for being foolish and making Quatre wait so long. He must be cold, as I was, sitting there at the water edge. I silently thanked him for staying and waiting for me so patiently. Yet, I still couldn't bring myself to leave just yet. It was as if, if I stayed longer, something would come to me.
"I'm sorry. Just a while longer."
He didn't reply and I assumed that he silently agreed. The wind was picking up and I turned back to the hills, watching the stars grew brighter one by one. Tranquil quiet enthesized by the soothing rustle of the leaves. And as I closed my eyes, I thought I heard singing. Soft and light and as gentle as the breeze. A beautiful voice whispering in the air.
"I know this."
/// Somewhere in a land so far away....
the one who makes me feel this way
phantom touches...soft-est kiss........///
My eyes flashed open in rememberance.
/// But when I try to see.....who you are.....
You leave me with the breeze....///
*****************************************
"You seem quite a bit happier."
We were about halfway back up the hill on the trail back to the inn. The sky was completely black now save for the stars and moonlight. Quatre's hand in mine was the only guide I had in the darkness. For some reason he was well adjusted to the dark and had absolutely no trouble navigating over rocks and fallen branches.
"You do this a lot?"
"Yes. How did you guess?"
"Woah! aw crap. Haaaa. ....... Because you don't stumble like I do."
"The moonlight is enough."
Hm. The moonlight. The moon was fairly full tonight and it did reflect off most of the branches but the stuff on the floor was a different matter. Still, Quatre must have thought I was a complete clutz.
"Don't worry. Most people fall."
".......did you just read my mind?"
That got me a little laugh. As little a time as we've spent together, awake anyways, it was strange how I've grown oddly accustom to his presence and downright comfortable. His laugh helped of course. And the smile. Rare as it was. Such a pity that those with the brightest smiles rarely show them.
"You didn't answer my question."
"Hm? Oh I'm sorry. Trying to fall and make a fool of myself."
"You're doing fine."
"Thank you. And.....I suppose I'm happier because I don't feel so lost anymore."
"You remember something?"
He said it with such zest that it threw me off and I tripped on a branch while I was turning to face him. I went down hard and he toppled with me, mostly because I failed to let go of his hand.
"woaaah!" "ouph!"
"Screw it. Nature sucks."
"hahahahah. I've never heard someone say that before."
"Why? You're a bunch of green people around here?"
"Green?"
"Yeah. Green people. Folks who like everything organic and natural, campers..."
I stopped midsentence. Here he was, once again, laying on top of me, looking into my eyes earnestly. I was at a lost for words and couldn't stop my heart from skipping a beat. Probably, sensing my uncomfort Quatre smiled at me gently.
"Deja vu? This should feel familar. I've been keeping you warm for 3 days."
"Um....yeah."
Pushing on my chest a little, he got back to his feet then offered a hand to pull me up. We tried to brush off our clothes which have been totally ruined by the water and dirt by now. Quatre laughed almost embarassed at himself.
"Oh dear. I can hear the rumours fly."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing to worry yourself with. So. As I was asking before, have you spawned some sort of memory yet?"
I took a deep breath and let it out before asnwering him.
"Just a little."
"Well?"
"I think I was looking for someone, and that someone was at the lake."
"Anything else?"
"Singing. That person sings. Quite beautifully."
"Hm...yes then you can search in the clubs. And about you?"
".......no. Nothing in that department."
"I see."
He sounded a little dissppointed as he brushed off the last of what's left of the dust from his clothes. When he finally lifted his head, I thought I could sense some frustration in his espression too. He walked up to me, and patted my head like one would a child.
"Take your time. You're welcome to stay at Merilynne's for as long as you need. But of course you'll have to work to make your stay."
"Of course. ..... Thank you. For all your help."
"Think nothing of it. I'll need another pair of strong hands. You will need a name though. Just for the sake of convenience. Can't go around calling you 'you' all the time. Do you have a preference?"
"......no. I don't."
"hm......"
Taking my hand we started walking again. He continued to hmm...to himself obviously trying to think of a name for me. Sometimes he would turn to look at me excitedly, then change his mind and look away.
"How about Lyional? No that sounds too fancy. Um....Domenic? No that's no good. Jun? Hm...no. hm.....How about. Trowa?"
He tugged on my hand, face practically glowing.
"Trowa. What do you think?"
"The name on my necklace? Trowa Barton?"
"Yes. Why not?"
"But I don't even know who it is."
"Well......if you'd wear it around the neck, it should be somebody important to you. Who knows. It may even be you. What do you say?"
I thought about it for a while. It would be inconvenient not to have a name. Plus that is the only name that remotely has some linkage to me. Why not? I turned back to him and nodded in agreement. Quatre seemed very pleased by it and practically jumped up and down.
He held out his hand to shake and I looked at it doubtfully. Never the less, I shook it eventually.
"Trowa Barton. Your personal....servant from now on. I guess. Pleased to work for you."
I smiled at him and he giggled. It was contageous and we soon found ourselves laughing at nothing in particular. But laughter is a strange and wonderful thing. And at that moment, it felt like we had known each other forever. Eventually, the moment passed and we regained our composure. Nodding to each other, we ran all the way back to the barn, our arms linked so I wouldn't get lost in the dark.
"We have to wash quickly then ready for supper. I'll introduce you to the rest of the workers and get you settled in. Unless you want to rest for the rest of the night."
"No I think 3 days is enough rest for me."
"Very well then. You'll do fine. I'll try to find you a room with a fireplace but until then you can sleep with me. Just don't get smart about it got it? I don't sleep with just anyone."
"So I'm special."
"Yes or just really good in bed."
"......."
I opened my eyes wide and stared at him. Smacking me on the arm, he let out an adorable laugh and gave me a wink. I stood and watched him as he ran into the inn, then wave at me to get a move on. Sighing, I did as he bade me hustled inside; following the one person who could lead me to myself.
I didn't tell him then because he would probably think I was a lunatic. But in the faintest of memories I can recall hearing a familar voice asking me a single question. And I would always reply with the same answer.
Why are you here?
"I came to see you. Quatre Winner."
