////~.....~//// flashback
"Yes master."
"........"
"Nobody seems willing to..."
"Enough."
*swallows* "..........."
"You should know what follows."
"I will not dissappoint you."
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Quatre: *slings bag over shoulder* "Yes."
Trowa: "Why?" *stands infront of Q*
Quatre: *pushes T who doesn't budge* "Because I have things to do back home. Now will you please move?"
Trowa: *stands still* "What is it that's so special that it would make you leave?"
Quatre: *growls+glares* "I have mouths to feed. BIG mouths okay? And those mouths will eat the hand that brings it food unless it belongs to me. Do you understand where I'm going with this?" *pushes again*
Trowa: *holds his ground* "No. Someone else must have fed those exotic animals before you joined the circus. They can do it again. Did you forget that I asked you to stay?"
Quatre: *places hands on hips* "From the looks of it, more like 'ordered' to stay."
Trowa: "........" *lets out deep breath* "Perhaps. As the crown prince, my wishes are commands."
Quatre: (dead pan) "Aw. Isn't that nice." *pushes again to no avail* "Trowa."
Trowa: "Yes?"
Quatre: *grabs his collar* (deadly tone) "If you don't move your royal ass, I'm going to kick it to Thank Kingdom!"
Trowa: (monotone) "Isn't that a little too far for you to manage?"
Quatre: *red with anger* "Why you..."
"Who's kicking who?"
Meiran: *waging finger* "My my. Somebody has yet to learn their manners." *bows to T* "Good day your highness."
Trowa: *nods in acknowledgement* "........."
Quatre: "What do you want?"
Meiran: "Hmph! You should watch that tone or yours little boy."
Quatre: *sneers* "Yes grandma."
Meiran: "Why you little....!"
No longer holding back, Quatre pushed Trowa hard and sent him sprawling to the floor as Meiran lunged at him. Skilled in the martial arts, she attacked with a combo of jabs, elbows, and kicks. But for those who forgot, Quatre was actually a very good fighter and had been able to take down Wufei. So while he lacked the style and form that Meiran had, he made up for it in experience and accuracy. Within minutes, the brawl resembled something close to a bad round of Streetfighter.
This continued for a good 15 minutes before Trowa finally noticed that this was not exactly 'normal', and that he should do something about it. Clearing his throat, he shouted in his most commanding voice, "CEASE!"
Nothing happened.
Quatre: "Come on and try you little spice-girl wanna be." *pulls down fabric from canopy*
Meiran: "You're ruining the prince's furniture!" *roundhouse kick*
Quatre: "Like I care!?" *whips fabric at M, tying her arms up*
Trowa: "I said CEASE!"
Quatre/Meiran: "SHUT UP!"
Trowa took a step back as his eyes widened in shock. The two continued to duke it out, apparantly having forgotten where they were. Shaking himself, then taking a deep breath, Trowa dived into the fray. First he tried holding Meiran back but.... that was pretty much impossible. So next he tried Quatre. He had better luck, but the chinese girl hadn't stopped attacking, making it very difficult for the prince to keep Quatre still. After a few more failed attempts, Trowa pulled out his last yellow card.
Trowa: "WUFEI!!!!"
Within seconds, the royal commander of the guards burst through the doors, sword drawn and ready to strike down the enemy. What he saw wasn't exactly what he expected. Trowa had basically thrown Quatre over his shoulder in an attempt to separate the two. But Quatre had grabbed one of Meiran's ponytails so the three were currently spinning like some weird carrosel.
Trowa: *keeps turning* "Wu.....Wufei." *360 spin* "Hose down your wife!"
The commander continued staring in aw for a moment before finally snapping out of it. Then, with one great leap he landed directly behind Meiran and clamped down on her arms.
Wufei: "Idiot! Stop!"
Meiran: "He started it!"
Quatre: "Egotistic left over sugar cane!" <---Chinese in-joke
Wufei: *stares at Q in astonishment* "........"
Meiran: "Who are you calling a left over cane huh? Who?"
Quatre: *struggles in T's hold* "The only one in here!"
Trowa: "Easy! Easy!"
Duo: "OI! How's everything....go..ing..." *eyes bug* "Woah. What happened here?"
Trowa: *takes deep breath* "Something you wanted?"
Duo: "Well I was kind of looking for Meiran. There she is. Shao told me to come remind you that you have class in a few hours."
Quatre: "She needs to have some class right now."
Meiran: "Wun jerg!" [damn it!]
The two move to go at it again, but Trowa pounced Quatre while Wufei pinned Meiran down with a continue-and-you'll-regret-it glare. Lucky Heero, or not so lucky depending how you look at it, chose this moment to walk in.
Because Trowa was tired out from trying to stop the fight, his pinning down of the blonde dancer's arms basically turned into just lying on top of him.
Duo: "Aren't they cute together?" *puts arm around H's waist*
Heero: *smiles, nods* "........"
Quatre: "Oi."
Trowa: "huh...?"
Quatre: "You're heavy."
Trowa: "un..."
Duo: "Oh yeah. Definately cute." *pulls at H's cape* "Spsssss...." *whispers in H's ear*
Heero's eye's took on a mischievious glint as Duo continued whispering into his ear. Nodding in agreement, Heero took a step forward and raised his left arm. Winking at the prince, he snapped his fingers once. Wufei and Meiran dissappeared in a gust of wind and sparkles. He snapped his fingers again, and this time, he and Duo started dissappearing. Only at a slower rate.
Duo: "Have fun you two." *wink*
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With the others gone, there was a sudden rush of silence. The prince and the clown still laying on the floor. The lack of sound made Quatre very uncomfortable and suddenly self-conscious. He started noticing the things that he hadn't noticed earlier. Like the way Trowa's breath hit his neck everytime he breathed. How it tickled but wasn't unnerving. He could truly feel the weight of the other's body. It seems heavier than before. How Trowa's hands felt so warm compared to his own. The way his fingers curled around his wrists. Firm, but not painful.
It felt so different. Different from anything he felt before. It wasn't disgusting like when some of the spectators tried to paw him during the 'encore' show. But it didn't feel maternal either like when Lydia or Shiva held him. Everything had always seemed so clear. Touches were either threatening, or protective. Quatre did not know what to make of this. It wasn't exactly threatening, but it wasn't protective either. He was so immersed in his thinking that he didn't even notice Trowa had said something into his hair.
Trowa: "I said you're cold. Hands, body, everything is cold." *rests head in crook of Q's neck*
Quatre: "........" *sighs* "Because my heart is."
Trowa: "What?"
Quatre: *shakes head* "Some people say I'm cold blooded. I think so too."
Trowa: "Mammals are all warm blooded you know."
Quatre: *chuckles* "Does your life revolve around a textbook?"
Trowa: *laughs* "It can revolve around you if you like."
Quatre: "..........." *turns head to side* "You don't want it to revolve around me."
Trowa: "Why not?"
Quatre: "........." *eyes glaze over* "My world. Is dark." *scrunches eyes shut* "It has no light. No warmth. You would never survive in it. It's not suited for you."
Trowa: *kisses Q's neck softly* "If I can't go to yours, then come to mine." *tightens grip on Q's wrists* Isn't he.....too cold..? It's too cold. It's like....he's never known what it means to be warm.....
Quatre: "I......" "...can't." *bites bottem lip* "Because ........I'm not here."
A million things ran inside Trowa's mind. The possibility of what those words meant. Their hidden meanings. As his mind raced, he moved so he could look Quatre in the eyes. What he expected was something along the lines of unshed tears. Not this. Dead, empty, blank eyes stared back at him. Devoid of all human emotion. Trowa's mouth fell open in shock.
Quatre: "The real me died a long time ago. What you're looking at now, is just a shell. A puppet without a soul."
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King: "Has he said anything to you?"
Duo: "No your majesty."
Wufei: "While little, he will eat and drink. Besides that, all he will do is sleep or look out the balcony."
P. Cath: "Do any of you have any idea of the reason behind this sudden change? Trowa has always been quiet, but not like this."
Heero: "Please give us more time. We will try the best in our ability to help him."
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Trowa sat on the edge of the balcony over looking the kingdom. His gaze trailed over to where the circus tents were raised. Heaving a deep sigh, the prince wrapped the robes tighter around himself.
////~ Trowa stared at Quatre, disbelief written all over his face. He waited for Quatre to laugh. To mock his expression. But blank eyes simply stared back. Blonde hair framing an emotionless face.
Trowa: "Wh....why did you say that?"
Quatre: "Because it's the truth."
Trowa: "I don't believe you."
Quatre: "You don't have to."
The prince open and shut his mouth, trying to find the right words. He wanted to know what he meant. He wanted to know why. But what he wanted to know most was why the sudden change in behaviour. One second he was laughing. The next he is a stone statue. The change was so dramatic, it had shocked and frightened him.
Trowa: *snaps out of it* "What?"
Quatre: "You're afraid of this. This 'me'. But it is the closest to the 'real me' you'll ever get."
Trowa: "What do you mean."
Quatre: "I've already said it haven't I? The 'real me' is dead. Was killed a long time ago. This isn't the real me. Just something created to keep my body alive. Because a body cannot live without a soul. A mind. This is just a puppet. Kept until my final purpose is accomplished."
Trowa: "Final...purpose?"
Quatre: *slight smile* "You don't have to know. Don't worry about it."
Trowa: *gets up on hands and knees loaming over Q* "Why are you saying the real you is dead? Aren't you right here? Or are you saying that you are some type of demon who took over Quatre's body!?"
Quatre: "No. I am not a demon. I am him. But not the real him. The real 'Quatre' is locked deep inside his heart. Kept safe from the world. From the past. The present. The future. He cannot feel. Thus cannot hurt. He has forgotten the meaning of company. Companionship. Thus will never feel lonely. He will not love, because he cannot be loved. But he does not know it's meaning, so will never miss it. 'He' is not here, because 'I' will never let him free. And you, will never find him because 'I' will never let you in." ~////
Trowa: "Go away."
Cautiously, Duo opened the giant doors and peered into the room. Unfortunately the rest of them were all crowding forward, causing the entire group to fall face flat onto the ground. Trowa turned to his friends in dismay.
Duo: *rubbing his butt* "Ow. That hurt."
Meiran: "You're sitting on my leg!"
Heero: "Sorry."
Wufei: "Get off my arm! OW!"
Duo: "Sorry! Sorry! Oops."
A long while of distangling arms and hair later, the group stood awkwardly in the prince's chamber. They glanced about nervously, trying to block out the panic of having the prince glare at them. It was the first time they had seen him legitamately pissed. The look was so deadly, a normal person would have wet themselves by now.
Trowa: "I thought I said. Go. Away."
Duo: "But his majesty the king is worried about you. As well as the princess Catherine.......You haven't come out of your room for 2 days!"
Trowa: "........" *continues to glare*
Wufei: *swallows* "Maybe you could use a little fresh air."
Trowa: "The air I get is fine. You are all dismissed."
Heero: "Trowa.."
Trowa: "Now."
all: *gulp* "Yes your highness."
All four of them bow, them make their way out of the room. Trowa kept his piercing gaze until the door shut with an echoing clang.
Quatre: ".........."
Trowa: "You can't answer can you!? Because it's all 'you'! This is you. That was you. It's all 'you'!"
Quatre: "It's not."
Trowa: "It is!"
Quatre: "I said it's not."
Trowa: "Quit being stubborn!"
Quatre: "You don't understand....I..."
Don't make me come out. Don't make me feel. Leave me here. In the darkness. Let me dissappear......
A lone tear escaped Quatre's eye. Trowa didn't miss it. Nor the pang in his heart. Sitting on his hauches, he pulled the boy off the ground and into his arms. Quatre suddenly seemed so light. So fragile. As if he would break at the slightest touch. So different from the strong minded, loud mouthed, somewhat cocky clown/dancer that he had met just a few days before.
He never believed in love at first sight. Nor destiny or fate. But Trowa never thought that he could be so serious about anyone. Or care so deeply. Gently taking Quatre's face in his hands, he bent down slowly and placed a feather light kiss on his lips. Having recieved no protest, he deepened the kiss, trying to send out all his feelings. A voiceless call.
If you've never felt warmth, then let me provide it for you. Even if you can't love, let me love you. Because... this is the only thing I am able to do for you.....
"Let this all end." ~ ////
His head snapped up in surprise. Princess Catherine carried over a light blanket to the balcony.
Cath: "You're going to catch a cold like this little brother."
Trowa: "I'm fine."
Cath: "Are you? You've been in here for 2 days! What happened?"
Trowa: "I don't know."
Cath: "What?"
Trowa: "I don't understand."
Cath: "Trowa?"
Trowa: "Who is real and who's not. I'm not sure anymore. I thought I knew...but....."
"Quatre?"
A strong wind blew between them. Light encircled Quatre's body as he floated up and backwards away from the prince. He held his arms outwards, then turned his palms down. This time, green light burst from the ground, creating a magic circle.
Quatre: "Let everything.....end."
Trowa: "Quatre!!"
Sad blue eyes looked into emerald green. Full of longing and regret. With a crack of energy, the wind blew harder causing all the lighter objects in the room to fly in a giant cyclone.
Quatre: "I'm sorry. But I can't let you find me. Can't let you see the real me. Because.....I don't want to feel again. I don't want to.....feel.... Let me...dissappear. Live in darkness. Even if it means.....I have to lose you.... Let me.....dissappear....."
A last tear escaped those eyes as the dancer/clown wrapped his arms tightly around himself. The greenlight from the magic circle turned a blinding white. Trowa shielded his eyes in vain. When his vision cleared, the room was back in order as if it had never been touched. Even the various objects that had been thrown around during the fight with Meiran had been replaced. The only thing different about the room was the mask sitting in the middle of where the magic circle had been. The same mask that Quatre had worn before. Only now, the mask had broken in two along the middle, creating two half masks. One laughing. The other crying. ~////
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"Quatre!"
Back on the circus grounds, Quatre is currently feeding the giant tiger, Tropicana. He gave him one last scratch behind the ears before getting up to answer whoever was calling. Looking around, he spotted Valcon waving at him with a stick. Groaning to himself, he stalked over.
Quatre: "Yeah?"
Valcon: "Have you made a new costume for the dance yet?"
Quatre: "Yes. The prince had the tailor make one for me while I was there."
Valcon: "Very well. Here. Take this." *hands Q stick* "Kronos is having trouble with the lions again. Get them back in the cage."
Quatre: "Yes sir." *mock salute*
Valcon: "Humph!" *stalks off*
Sure that he wouldn't look, Quatre made a bunch of faces at the ring master's retreating back. Suddenly a pair or warm hands encircled his waist, causing him to jump in surprise.. He looked back to see Lydia looking warmly down at him.
Lydia: "So. You still haven't told me what happened at the castle."
Quatre: *shrugs* "The usual."
Lydia: *laughs* "Did he offer to buy you?"
Quatre: *mock gasp* "How did you guess?" *rolls eyes*
Shiva: *hops over* "I.....think he has a thing for you honey."
Quatre: *stretches* "Yup yup. Nobody can resist my charm." *walks off*
Shiva: "Quatre....."
Quatre: *stops* "Hm?"
Shiva: *exchange glances with Lydia* "You.....are you..? When you came back...you..."
Quatre: "I'm fine."
Lydia: "But..."
Quatre: "That.......doesn't matter anymore right? Let me go on like 'this'. That way, everyone will be happy."
Lydia: "You.....you're heart......hasn't changed? After all this time.."
Quatre: "No. It's impossible to change. It won't change. Until the day I die." *walks off*
Shiva: *takes hold of Lydia's hand* "Is this alright? If he goes on......"
Lydia: "He'll just continue killing his heart. Until the 'real him' dissappears, and there's nothing left."
"You have confirmed this information!?"
"Hai." [yes]
"Does he know?"
"No. It appears that he doesn't remember exactly what happened."
"What are his intentions then?"
"Both should be ignorant of the situation. Sir."
"........."
"Would you like us to......."
"No. Not yet. The fruit is not yet ripe for the picking. These are fragile times."
"But the ball...."
"..........."
*swallows*
"Proceed as planned. But do not take any action before the ball."
"We will do as you ordered."
*sound of scurrying feet*
"hm hm hm hm... You will soon join your flock, my lost little lamb. Ha ha ha ha ha ha......."
