Vera
"That would be it," Vera told herself as she walked into
classroom 326, carrying with her everything she thought she would
need for that day, possibly the rest of her life.
Pencils, pens, a new tooth brush, she had it all, she smiled as
she ran her finger thought the imitation leather pockets of her
new purse, feeling the coins on the inside pockets. "Yes, that is
fine." She agreed to meet him, Harry or what was his name? It
didn't really matter anymore, none of it did, she was free, free
at last, and it was a glorious day outside.
       She took her usual seat by the door, partially because she
never wore any make up, it was because an idea she had one night,
if one sits just so in relation to the stars, the sky and the
moon it would appear normal, her skin would shine, it did that
day. She parted her long blond hair to one side, and sat slumped
in her chair with her head resting in the bare flat palm of her
pudgy pink hand. She sighed with relief when Mister O'Grady
entered the room, finally someone with a bit of dignity, or at
least some class, she thought, the hypocrite.
          "I'm going to take roll." A voice from the front of the room
called out, in a hushed whisper, it was the teacher. Vera looked
discouraged, she wrinkled her brow, maybe he didn't noticed me,
what if I am invisible, countless other possibilities. Hadn't he
noticed it, the warm glow over her cheeks, the way her chest
pulsated with each and every breathe she took, it was her
birthday, and he has forgotten, "Such like a man!" She wanted to
scream, to get up out of the chair, to explode, and claw out his
eyes.
      What does she want now? O'Grady thought as he continued down
the list of students names. He avoided looking at her, it was bad
enough she was only sixteen, but she was looking at him, not the
way a normal girl should look at a man of only 40 years of age.
She wanted him, he could tell by the smile she had given him like
a paper heart made out of tissue paper, that would rip at the
slightest touch, a smile she gave so often at night, dropping her
off at the back of her house, by the light of the moon, as she
would turn around from scaling the fence bordering her house,
turn around wave and smile that smile, and throw a kiss good
night. "Oh god," this was bad he repeated to himself. Why did he
let himself get into this situation, of course she wasn't the
first, he had other girls before, other towns and other names,
but this was different somehow, she was different, and so was he.
He ran his fingers over his brown moose mustache, running
over the slight curls at the end of his mouth, he glanced up,
looking over his nose, she was there, smiling.
     It was early June, the hottest part of the summer when he
noticed the girl, she and her family had just moved in a few
houses down the street. He knew the father, a respectable man, a
banker or some financial analyst of sorts. The mother, nothing
short of a miracle worker, a nurse at the county medical center,
were both unpacking, going through boxes and boxes of old things
laid out on the front lawn, he then noticed her, the young
daughter.
           She came out of the house, oblivious to the fact nothing,
not even the television had found itself inside the old Victorian
house that was their's now. She had other ideas, there was a
slight squirmish between her and her father, but he of all
persons should allow his sixteen year old daughter to sunbathe
topless on the front lawn, infront of the neighbors and the world
at large. This was impressive, what might he have done if she was
his own daughter? She wasn't and he didn't care anymore, he
walked down his own porch and introduced himself to the new
family, keeping a good eye on the daughter and her bare naked
bosom. It was more exciting speaking to the father, which her
soon learn he was from Belgium, and the family too, where he
learned most of the girls and women sunbathe in the nude, maybe
she would take off her bottoms he thought in anticipation of the
oncoming event, but he kept his mind on the task at hand, he
mingled with the parents, informing them about the town and the
neighborhood in general, and allowing himself to be saturated
with the tales of Vera, yes he learned her name, it was a start.
She was a scholar, her father boasted to O'Grady, and a good
runner, she was an athlete. This was getting good, he sat down
with the family in what can conceivably be considered their
dining room, but with out any furniture inside as of yet, hard to
tell. They sat on empty boxes, re-enforced with packaging paper.
They had ordered a pizza for dinner, their first one from the
states, cheese and mushrooms, all the family were vegetarians,
except for Vera, she ate meat.
       The screen door opened with a creek, he could hardly believe
his eyes as Vera walked inside with the light of the afternoon
sun at her back, the way it illuminated the curvature of her
breasts, as she walked in and sat beside them, and picked up a
slice pizza and began to chew. More than twenty five movements of
both upper and lower jaws, in motion, grinding down the food in
her mouth, he counted.
       What was it now? Eleven, oh yes, time to begin the exam.
O'Grady handed out the blank test forms, paying close attention
to when he arrived at the back of the class, near the door, where
Vera sat so anxiously, lightly running her finger along the
outside of her sweater, she knew what he liked, and he knew it
too.
             "Do you love me?" She asked him again one Sunday morning,
Vera's parents were both away on business, how lucky she was, the
house all to herself, and no parents to interfere with her life.
He sat there slumped in the corner, with bits of drool and
saliva running down his cheek into a pool staining the pink-
lavender stripped sheets of Vera's queensize bed. "Do you love
me?" she repeated, more cautiously now, not wise to wake a
sleeping bear, she nudged him, began to pick the black shiny
pubic hairs just below his pudgy old man's stomach. He groaned,
and rolled over on his side, and whispered something unnoticeable
to her.
       She undid the covers, and got up. It was early morning, not
even the mailboy had arrived. There would be no sunshine that
morning.
	"Cant I ever do anything right?" She asked him in those
puppy dog eyes that sunk their claws right into Harry O'Grady's
little heart. She had him right where she wanted him. How could
he trust her, this was her parents idea of course, he thought to
himself, for tutoring was something he had never done with any
other student, but this was different, how could he say no.
She had finished all of her other assignments, her geography and
English lit work, nothing more than go over those silly old
mathematic formulas, something Harry felt a little bit better,
numbers never changed, they always remained the same.
They had already finished the Chinese food Vera's parents
had ordered for them, Harry had Chinese food everynight this week
it seemed. They had begun Vera's home work at the dining room
table, but even that soon became uncomfortable, they soon were
sitting on the sofa, then the floor with the television on, and
then finally they found themselves up in her parents bedroom.
Was that their first time? He hardly remembers anymore, the
first or the last time. She sat their, not afraid but confident,
they shared a joint. He almost had forgotten how to smoke one,
but soon it all came back to him, like his college days. They
laid there, naked in her parents bed with the covers off to one
side, she lit another joint, took a deep hit, and let the smoke
pour out her nostrils, and passed it to Harry. He laid there,
with Vera's arms around his chest, with a joint pressed up
against his wet lips wondering if he should just leave or not, he
felt with his little toe, to see if his trousers were still at
the end of the bed, they were. "Don't leave." Vera pleaded,
almost in tears, this was a glorious moment for her. She would of
handed him a hallmark card if they had one for this occasion, but
no, this was enough, he was happy, she could feel his body relax,
and his breaths become a little easier and loose. She pressed her
lips up against his left ear, "Do you love me?" she asked him,
this was the first time she asked, "Yes." he whispered and turned
his head and kissed her.
           There had been a slight rumor around the school about one of
the male teachers, had been seen in the company of one of the
girls outside school. No one was naming names, but it seemed like
everyone had their own idea. Vera was afraid, and played ill for
an entire week, she assumed maybe the rumors would die down a bit
if she avoided Mister O'Grady's math class, but she found out he
had been sick home with the flu as well when she called up asking
for her assignments. This was it, she immediately walked out of
her house, still in her bath robe, over to Harry's house, and
knocked on the door. He was anything but surprised to see her, it
seemed he had this planned out all along, she smiled and threw
open her bathrobe, and tackled him to the ground.
          It was days, maybe weeks before she had noticed it, the
little yellow stain at the back of her mouth, how long had that
been there, Vera questioned herself, and most of all, what was
it?  Her mother, who was a nurse was puzzled by the little beige
spot on the back of Vera's throat, she wanted to run tests, maybe
even a cat scan. It grew, Vera would bring out a mirror, and gaze
intently into her open mouth, with a toothpick, scrap away at it,
hoping to rub it out all together.
           It was him, Vera cried, Harry the no good son of a bitch had
given her some kind of VD. She had to see him, now was not a good
time, he was having some sort of teacher's seminar at his house,
Vera could see all the rich expensive automobiles parked outside,
BMWs, Merecdes Benz, Porches, Lexus', other names so foreign too
her, in made the tongue in her brain twist. She looked out her
front window, it was twilight, the window curtains were open, and
she should see everyone, even Harry. He stood there in his little
tweed jacket, the one with the little brown leather patches at
the elbows, the jacket he never wears, he swore to her it made
him look like some old university professor, and there was
nothing distinguished about him, he assured her; that's where he
brought out the pipe!
         It was late in the evening, some time after nine, Vera
checked the clock on the wall, and looked back across the houses,
looking in Harry's party. Seeing some of the guests rise off of
the sofa, put on their coats, and say goodnight. It must of been
a good party she told herself, Harry was still standing, infact
going around the house casually picking up empty beer bottles,
she could see the stretch of his trousers as he bent down at the
waist, bending over and picking up one bottle after another, damn
his ass is in fine shape this evening, she made a promise to
herself that she would make it over there that same evening, and
see Harry.
           The doctor at the clinic said is was nothing but a slight
infection and prescribed some anti-biotics, Vera said nothing in
her small paper robe, her mother swore there was other things
wrong, she had felt there was. Vera frown at the doctor, hoping
to discourage him, it worked, but at the last second, to finally
quiet Vera's mother, ordered a full blood analysis. A fat nurse
walked in on them, with a piece of plastic tubing, and a huge
syringe and bottles, must of been hundreds, they were feeding
countless varieties of mosquitos and vampires, she thought this
would go on forever, and wind up thin as a twig without any blood
in her veins.
           There was a stench in the kitchen, something completely
undescribable and strangely familiar. Was she purposely trying to
burn the house down, Harry asked himself, for she knew that the
pilot lights on the stove were having problems. This was it, she
had gone out of the kitchen and sat down infront of the
television one last time, there was no chance of ever teaching
her the intricacies of French cuisine. It didn't matter to him,
but Spiderman was out there, on the television he could hear the
familiar "Spiderman, Spiderman, friendly neighborhood
Spiderman..." Harry had to remind himself she was still just a
girl, and had much maturing to do. He took the beans off the
burner and dumped the water in a strainer, swooshing them around
and pressing out the water, this was her mess, this was her
dinner, and she was going to eat it. He was sure of that, he
would make her if she said no.
         She had walked over to him, soon after dinner was consumed,
and dishes washed, dried and put back. Vera had on this solid
olive green t-shirt, and a skirt she made herself, with a long
roll of cloth she had purchased from the craft shop. She stood
eating an orange, next to him, cutting it open with a steak
knife, and carving along the sides, removing the white skin that
covered the juice pith of the orange. Harry ruffled the
newspapers, as if to shoo away Vera, and her orange, he read the
columns to her, the ones she always hated, where some kid was
killed or injured in some attack or robbery attempt. Why must he
do this? She asked herself, as she dug in deeper into the orange,
breaking it apart with her thumb and for finger, licking the
juice that ran down her arm. She knew it was just to scare her,
that much was certain, but to what ends? Was it her, was there
something wrong with her, she asked him over and over again, and
he just remained dead quiet, until once he erupted into a speech
about oral hygiene, and stormed out the front door, only to be
seen the following morning in the bathroom, brushing his teeth
with only a bath towel covering the man. She put the rind of the
orange to her teeth, sucking the last bits of flavor and juices
from the orange, as she felt a hand reach up along her bare
belly, underneath her shirt. "My, my, aren't we developing a
stomach aren't we?" Harry said, feeling up higher, examining each
of Vera's breasts, for lumps was it this time, was that his
excuse? She felt disgusted than threw back his invading and
wandering hand, she felt it drop to the side, and thought he'd
only go back to reading his newspapers, something he could do for
hours on end and with out much thought, but she soon realized she
felt a hand wander to the small of her back, were the knot was,
that held together the whole of her dress, she felt it tug, and
loosen, but soon gave up. Only then, she felt Harry's cold touch,
the roughness of his callous hands tough the left side of her
ass, and caress along side her body. This was enough, not only
did he insult her, made her feel fat, and possibly pregnant, but
wanted sexual favorers, this was too much.
       Vera took the steak knife she had in her hand, and lunged
the blade down straight into Harry's gut, making sure to nick the
newspaper on the way down to his stomach and clipped off a
button. Had this been the end of such a beautiful relationship,
had it turned to this, he didn't even look at her anymore. Maybe
she should find someone else, someone who could appreciate her
the way she deserved to be treated, not like this, like a whore.
That's the way she felt, but what do I get out of it all? She
asked herself, nothing, absolutely nothing. A few good fucks now
and then, maybe a drive here to the mall, and maybe a few buck on
occasion, but in reality, Harry, mister O'Grady, Mister Math
teacher, was buying her off. This wasn't any good anymore, things
were going to have to change.
         "What did we decide?" Harry's mind swirled, too much liquor,
too many promises, he asked himself once more, dazed from the
fluorescent lights of the classroom. What was she planning in
that mind of hers, had she had the abortion, infact, who paid?
He stood for a while, with his back turned to the class,
just as everyone else in the class, gazing up at the clock. A
watched pot never boils! O'Grady's mother told him long ago, he
dabbled a handkerchief over his forehead, and stuffed it back in
his front coat pocket.
          Two twenty one was as close to three o'clock as anything
else, Harry spun on his heel, paused for a moments breath and
addressed the class. "Well, that's it! Class dismissed, have a
great weekend, I will see you all on Monday, I will be around to
collect your tests, good bye."
           She had told him repeatly no, the tests she took all came
back negative, would she really lie to him?
                              ;* * * * * * *
It was only to be an hour for the first day, a readings from both lawyers, these were formalities, her fathers words. She patted the oily spots on her cheek with the pad, making small circular patterns- I shall speak with him tonight, I will get him alone and explain to him how sorry I am.
Vera was a strange looking girl, he thought, suddenly remembering Vera as she walked across the lawn that summer afternoon and stood next to a fishing pole, stretching up to touch the tip of it; yes definitely an b-cup, much maturing yet to do, Harry was certain.
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