HEFG Motto: "We shall track you until you just can't take it anymore."

The Noble HEFG, known fondly as 'Heffers'.

The Highly Elite Flying Glompsters

The Glompsters were formed in 2001, in response to an outcry regarding the lack of glomping activity in our educational establishment.

Under the fledgling society's rules, glomping was not only allowed, it was encouraged. There are 4 members of the HEFG in all.

A glomp is a form of communication which is sadly often overlooked today. For instructions on how to perforn this joy-giving act and also details of how to join the Glompsters, see below.

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How to Glomp (2001 Method) c.HEFG

Step 1. The Approach
Believed by some Glompsters to be the most important step. It is vital that you remain undetected while there is still a chance your target may escape. The HEFG approved distance is 15 metres (see below) although there is a record of a very talented Glompster attaining proximity of just 5 metres before initiating Step 2. Self improvement is what all the Glompsters strive for, so we can all learn a lesson from this. Use any cover necessary to avoid being spotted.
HEFG approved covers - Other people, shrubbery of any kind, large folders.

Step 2. The Charge
Now is the time to discard your cover. Depending on how athletic you are, you can vary your charge distance. The most important thing to remember is that you are sufficiently quick and that your target does not twig what is about to happen and run like hell. A good Glompster can judge a potential target's thinking time down to a second. It is vital that your target be stationary, as you will now have no cover.

Step 3. Flight
Within this step is contained the very essence of what the HEFG stand for. It is imperative that this step is carried out to perfection every time, as this is what separates the HEFG from maniacs who run round hugging people. Athough the current record stands at just over a metre, new recruits are advised to aim for around 30cm of lift during their training. After that the ceiling is the limit.

What's that noise? Ah well, I must've imagined it.

Why...? What...? Huh...? (Note-It is vital to initiate Steps 3 and 4 while this thought pattern is still active.)

This...is a nightmare. Should I run? (Note-Too late.)

Step 4. Contact
Remember the HEFG golden rule. DON'T KILL THEM.

Step 5. Exit
Although the HEFG are a well-respected and established group, the society guidelines do recommend, at this point, before the target reawakens, running like hell.

Most importantly of all - Don't get discouraged! Some people are born glomp-avoiders with skills of escape incomprehensible to even the most highly trained Glompster. Somewhere out there, your talents will shine through. Good Luck!
Felflowne (HEFG Rep, Portsmouth)

To join the HEFG, send an email to [email protected]

Use the screen tip to ascertain the target's thoughts.
NB You will NOT be able to do this in real life!