Comfort and Calm
By Felflowne aka Espion
Disclaimer - I wish! That
will be all. But I want Ken-kun! Can’t the company share?
Omi awoke with the
sickening feeling he’d just dropped onto his bed from a great height. He gulped
at the air around him and sat up, raking his fingers through his dishevelled
blonde hair. He glanced at the bedside clock though watery eyes. Even through his
tears he could read it - 03:42 AM.
'Oh well,' he sighed
quietly to himself, 'at least I didn’t scream this time.' He lay back down onto
clammy sheets, and tried to remember what he’d been dreaming about.
There had been an
accident, the specifics of which were lost in the fog of his brain. Basically,
all of Weib had died, but he would’ve been the
last, so he’d seen them all die.
Looking at it like that,
it didn’t sound as bad as it’d seemed. They all faced death every night, or at
least, on every mission they each undertook, but there had been something else.
A sadness had gripped him each time one of his friends had died. Not all for
their death, for in this dream he hadn’t seemed to mind so much about that,
strange as it sounded, but primarily for all the things he should have told
them, was going to tell them and so on. Now he could never do that.
Omi rolled over. It was
very sad, but it was only a dream, and not nearly as graphic as his most
frequent dreams…His mind suddenly flew back, unbidden, to his last one…
'Ouka! Ouka I’m
sorry! I couldn’t protect you…oh Ouka…'
'Oh Omi…I’m
so…happy…'
'Ouka? OUKA?'
'OUKAAAAAAA!' Omi
screamed as he awoke. Tears were running freely down his face. He could feel
them even before he opened his eyes.
'Why…' he whispered bitterly,
clutching at his sheet, 'why did you die…you were the only family I had left…'
Footsteps padded
swiftly along the narrow corridor running between their rooms, and the door
opened.
'Oh no…' Omi whispered
to himself.
The figure walked
slowly across the room. Not wanting to open his eyes, Omi couldn’t tell whether
it was Aya, Yohji or Ken. Omi could hear the footfalls drawing nearer.
'Why,' he wondered,
'why am I afraid?'
'Omi?'
He opened his eyes. Ken
was crouching by his bed.
'Ken…I’m sorry if I woke
you…' he whispered. He felt his irrational fear evaporating, but he was
suddenly fiercely ashamed that Ken, Ken! …was seeing him like this, and
attempted to cover his face with his hands.
'You didn’t, I was
still awake,' said Ken gently, catching one of Omi’s smaller hands in his own,
'what’s wrong?'
'Just a stupid
nightmare,' Omi said, trying to laugh, but failing to stifle a sob. Ken’s hand
tightened slightly around his.
'They’re not stupid,'
he said firmly, 'they’re frightening. They come to you in the one place you
expect to be safe…I know…'
Looking up, Omi saw
that Ken had hung his head. He felt he should say something, but before he
could, Ken looked up, and releasing his one hand from around Omi’s, put both
his arms around his smaller friend.
Omi was surprised, but
very grateful, as he put his own arms around Ken’s neck and snuggled up to him.
'Oh…' he whimpered, and
felt Ken’s arms tighten around him, holding him closer. It felt wonderful.
Much to Omi’s
disappointment, however, he’d been so comfortable in Ken’s embrace that he’d
fallen asleep again, into a dreamless sleep which left him ready, the next
morning, to bounce on into the new day as he always did. When he’d awoken, Ken
had been gone. That made sense, of course. He could hardly stay all night.
I wish he would
though…thought Omi as he rolled over to try and get back to sleep…then he was
immensely glad that his red face couldn’t be seen as he realised what he’d just
implied.
****
As Ken walked into the
shop, later that morning, his own rolled-up apron hit him in the head. Yohji,
who’d thrown it, grinned.
'Good Morning, sleeping
beauty,' he chuckled, as Ken blinked owlishly in the bright sunlight.
'Whatever,' the
dark-haired boy coherently replied, taking refuge in the shadow behind a large
potted plant. Yohji would've teased him some more, but at that moment steps
pounded in the corridor and Omi exploded out of the same doorway, beaming.
'Yohjiiiii! Found your
apron!' He threw it. It was tightly rolled. It hit Yohji in the stomach. He
doubled up, wheezing.
'Oh! Yohji…I'm so sorry!'
Omi squeaked…it hadn't been that hard, after all…
'Thaaat's all right Omi,'
groaned Yohji, craning himself up, stiffly unrolling his
now-found-and-delivered-back-to-him-Omi-style apron and throwing it over his
head.
He glared into the gloom
where Ken was hiding, and even in the shadow he could see Ken was bent up
laughing, chewing on his T-shirt so Yohji wouldn't hear.
'Hidaka!' growled Yohji,
'get out here and do some work, lazy idiot!'
'Yes sir!' laughed Ken,
not knowing whether Yohji's hurt pride or Omi's look of horror amused him more.
As Omi rushed out towards his bike and school, Ken threw him a smile.
***
'Mis-ter Tsukiyono!'
A ruler snapped down
inches from Omi's right hand, which had been expertly twirling a pencil,
causing him to start and drop it with a clatter. He peered up guiltily into the
annoyed face of the sensei.
'This universe, if
you would be so kind,' he snapped, referring to Omi previous state of
attentiveness. I.e. Non-existent.
Omi sighed and bent down
to retrieve the pencil. What had he been thinking about? Just like a
dream, he couldn't quite remember, and to his bemusement, he could feel that he
was blushing.
***
'Ken! Can you give me a
hand?' Aya's voice seemed to simply pass over the throngs of girls who had
materialised during the after-school rush.
'Sure thing!' he replied,
walking over to where the older man was at the cash register. Aya, if it was
possible, looked stressed.
'I'm telling you, in
England they're called daffodils, daffodils. I don't know what you call
them over here,' the woman standing before the till was moaning, 'so do you
have any or not?'
'I'm off on a fifteen
minute break,' mouthed Aya to Ken, 'please help this lady with her purchases.'
He fled, unobtrusively,
leaving the bewildered and always just that little bit too ready to help
Ken blinking dumbly as he wondered what 'daffodils' were, and whether they
stocked them or not.
'Umm,' he said helpfully,
thumbing through the well worn-out catalogue, with the impatient tourist
looking on.
Why do I always get
lumbered with customers like these, he thought miserably. The neat kanji of the catalogue was
no help.
'Well! I shall just have
to…' began the customer angrily, but trailed off as another florist appeared.
Omi, having raced home
from school, was slightly out of breath, and as he hopped onto the chair behind
the cash register to look over Ken's shoulder and see what he was doing, Ken
felt his warm breath down his neck, and quivered slightly.
Omi didn't notice, and
seeing the customer, smiled his most dazzling smile and enquired jovially if he
could help them.
'Daffodils, Omi,' muttered
Ken, acutely aware that the seventeen-year-old was still leaning over his
shoulder, his hands on his back, 'do we sell them?'
The customer looked
expectantly at the new arrival, who thought for a moment, then shook his head
slightly.
'We would have them if you
came to see us in the springtime, but they're out of season just at the moment.
I'm sorry, can I help you with anything else?'
Ken watched with a mix of
regret and relief as Omi jumped down and led the previously unmanageable
customer away to see some of the other flowers that they had.
Five minutes later, the
tourist had gone away, pleased with the violets she had purchased. In a rare
lull, Ken and Omi busied themselves with irrelevant menial tasks. Aya still
wasn't back and Yohji was nowhere to be found. A kind of busy deliberate
silence fell over the two workers.
Omi had long since
recovered from his exertion. His bike was old, and sometimes needed more than a
little nudge in the right direction to start at all. He wondered why he'd been
in such a big hurry, as his shift still didn't actually start for another half
an hour.
He looked up as Ken
finished wiping the leaves of a dark, rubbery looking houseplant, and put down
his own cloth.
'Phew,' said Ken, rubbing
his eyes, 'what with Yohji disappearing halfway through the day and Aya not
being on till two, I've pretty much had to work all day while you were slumming
it at school, you know.'
'Yohji disappeared?' Omi
suddenly found that his eyes itched too.
'Yeah, probably recovering
from a night on the town, but quite honestly he's more help when he's not
here.'
Omi laughed.
'So anyway, why were you
back early? Did school finish sooner than you thought?'
Omi was embarrassed, as he
hadn't realised he'd been hurrying that much.
'Uhhh no, I just wanted to
be back here in plenty of time, you know…'
He stopped. Ken was looking
at him again. He laughed quietly.
'Well, whatever reason,
you turned up just in time to save me from that tourist. My English is
rubbish.'
'Awww, Ken, she wasn't
that bad. She wanted to buy the daffodils for her husband. He's in hospital
over here because the care is better for his condition. Apparently, daffodils
were what were growing in their garden when he had to leave to come here. That
was why…'
Omi stopped again. Usually
when he spoke to Yohji or Aya, they said they were listening and then carried on
with what they were doing, leaving him having to follow them or not tell them
whatever he wanted to say. Ken, however, (and he'd noticed this before) stopped
whatever he'd been doing to listen.
He always seems so
interested in me… Omi
thought, and a warm feeling spread all through him, but then…I mean…I mean
what I have to say! Not me! Not me! Don't blush, don't blush…
Omi repeated that over and
over in his head while he recounted the rest of the story.
'I guess I just pre-judged
her, but you see the best in everyone,' said Ken, when he'd finished.
'I try to,' sighed Omi,
picking up the cloth again, 'and you're a lovely person, but yes, your English is
rubbish, Ken.'
Ken laughed.
***
His shift over, Ken threw
his apron in a corner of his room and then exited to take a shower. Upon
returning, and much to his surprise, he didn't much feel like going down to the
lower room to watch TV. He grabbed his personal stereo from a drawer and fell
onto the bed. It wasn't deliberate. He was hopelessly clumsy. He'd tripped over
his lampshade on the floor and slipped on the hard polished wooden floor. He'd
taken the cabinet away because he'd kept bashing his knee on it.
Soon, he was happily
drifting in the point between sleep and awareness, where any half-dreams seem
real. He smiled faintly… he liked this. He let his mind wander. He had
absolutely no doubts where it would wander off to…and he let it.
***
At half past eight, Omi's
shift was finished. Aya had returned as Ken had left, and had asked a few
questions about his day, how his assignments were and so on. Although Omi
respected Aya greatly, there was a distinct difference between him and Ken, and
there was no doubt in Omi's mind as to which he'd rather have spent his evening
shift with.
Flicking his long fringe
out of his eyes, he trudged up the stairs, sleep beckoning. It was early, sure,
but he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity of an early night. On the way to
his room, he passed Ken's. The door was wide open.
Unable to resist even this
the simplest of temptations, Omi glanced inside, and had to smile. The nineteen
year old boy was sprawled half-on half-off his bed, his hair all messed.
You came back early
because you wanted some time with him.
The thought was so sudden,
so unexpected, that Omi nearly gasped aloud. Was that himself saying
that?
***
Ken slowly became aware of
the figure in his doorway, but he was still drowsy. He tried to reach behind
him to turn off the music, but this caused him to begin to slide off the bed
he'd been only just balanced on.
'Huh?'
He was falling! In his
half-awake state, he didn't realise that it wasn't far to the ground, but he
did remember the floor was hard.
***
Omi ran the length of the
room, snatched a pillow from the other end of the bed and threw it to where Ken
was going to fall. He'd've tried to catch him, but he knew he wasn't strong
enough.
Ken landed on the pillow
with a flop. Omi caught his head and stopped it from hitting the ground. For a
moment there was utter silence. Ken was now lying on his back, and his head was
in Omi's lap.
'You…you Ok?'
Ken blinked a couple of
times.
'I'm… fine,' he said
quietly.
What would've happened
then, they never found out, because at that moment, Yohji walked into the room,
rubbing sleep from his eyes. He winked at Omi.
'Knew you two'd get there
eventually…you seen Aya?'
'Downstairs,' said Omi
faintly, but Yohji wasn't done.
'Nice one Hidaka, he's
very cute,' he called as he left the room.
***
'Wh-what was Yohji talking
about?' asked Omi, even though he knew perfectly well, and it made him feel all
tight inside to think about the ramifications of it. They were still sat how
they'd been when Yohji had entered. Ken was surprised about this. He'd thought
that the smaller boy would've leapt away from him as soon as Yohji had come in,
but he'd stayed precisely where he was.
'I don't know,' Ken lied.
Omi blinked at him. Almost of their own accord, his fingers gently brushed
Ken's hair away from his face. He watched in amazement as Ken closed his eyes
and sighed.
Does he enjoy this?
What are we doing? Oh he looks so cute and innocent, just lying there…
'I'd better go to bed,'
whispered Omi, later on, upon glancing at the clock. Ken agreed. Stiffly, he
rolled over and got up, his muscles protesting, and his head and heart
protesting even more.
Yes, I know what you
want…he groaned
inwardly to himself, as Omi wished him a good night and left.
Ken raised his hand to his
face. He could still feel Omi's fingers on it. He sighed quietly, told himself
to get over it, Omi was a fellow assassin… and fell into bed again. This time,
it was deliberate.
***
Later that night, the
house was shaken by a blood-chilling scream. The assassins were awake and alert
at once, except one.
Omi, whose scream it'd
been, thrashed around in his bed, but the nightmare just wouldn't release him.
Again and again rotting hands grabbed at him, and dead voices shrieked at him.
Come with us, Come with
us Omi, we are your family…
'No,' he whimpered, 'No,
no, no, no, no…'
***
Ken met Aya and Yohji on
the landing. Ken could see that Aya had his katana.
'It's just Omi,' he
explained breathlessly, moving quickly towards the room Omi slept in, 'He has
nightmares…I'll sort him out.'
He shot a pleading look at
Aya, who nodded, and dragged Yohji away.
***
Who else do you have…?
All you have is us… we're all dead… Most of us you killed yourself…
'I had no choice!' Omi
wept.
Come with us…
'No!'
Where else can you go…
Not one of was left alive to care for you… You are alone… Come with us…
'No…' Omi was tiring.
You'll never be alone
if you come with us…
Omi… Omi…
Omi couldn't see the new
speaker, but the dead monstrosities began to retreat. He felt himself begin to
calm down, but it felt odd, as if someone else was controlling him.
Remember what we told
you… Alone… Forever…
We're all here for
you Omi, especially me…
'I'm not alone, not here.'
That's right, come
on… wake up Omi…
Suddenly he awoke, so fast
that he frightened himself. He was still in his bed, but Ken was there too, and
he had his arms wrapped tightly around him.
'Ken?' he whispered, 'Ken,
I heard you…I heard you in my dream…'
He couldn't see Ken's face
because it was buried in his neck. The way his breath curled down his spine was
doing odd things to his head.
'You dream about me?' the
dark-eyed boy asked softly.
'Lots…' said Omi, then
hastily continued, 'I mean, you weren't actually there (this time, he thought),
but I heard your voice…were you speaking to me just now?'
'Yes.'
Omi drew back so he could
see Ken's face.
'What were you saying?'
Ken thought, then said,
'You were crying, so I tried calling you to wake you up.' He gently used the
corner of his nightshirt to dry Omi's tear-streaked face. Omi leant against his
hand.
'Then, when that didn't
work…' he continued, but Omi shushed him by gently laying a finger to his lips.
'I know, I heard you. You
said that Weib were all here for me, especially
you.'
'It's true,' Ken told him,
and Omi was so happy he thought he might explode. The strange tight excitement
that had first struck him when Yohji had made those comments about them was
back, and it was better.
Ken was in turmoil. He had
to tell him now, and face the consequences. He may never get another private
opportunity like this to let Omi know his secret.
'I… appreciate we probably
don't feel the same way, Omi,' Ken was suddenly saying, in a slightly sad tone,
'but that's fine, I don't mind as long as I have you as a friend.'
Omi blinked. What?
'What do you mean Ken?'
Omi was hanging on his
every next word. Having secretly admired the tall boy in whose arms he was
laying for nearly a whole year, he was desperate now to find out whether the
admiration would have to remain secret.
He'll always be my
closest friend…even if we can't…
Omi had to stop thinking
that. His eyes were brimming with tears. With a sob, he clutched tighter at
Ken's shirt, almost ripping it.
Ken was astonished.
What's he doing?
He'd been just about to
admit to Omi that he loved him, and had been expecting a blank stare or a
frosty look, but instead, before he could say a word, Omi had latched himself
onto him.
'No…' Omi whispered,
barely on the brink of Ken's hearing, not realising what he was saying, 'I'll
die without you now…'
'Omi… We're not going anywhere…'
This didn’t work, and slightly dazed by Omi's behaviour, he continued, 'do you
want to hear what I was going to say?'
Omi had his face pressed
into Ken's shoulder, and his sobs quietened as he replied, 'All right.'
'It's this… Omi, I'm
sorry. I betrayed your trust in me as a friend… I love you.'
Silence. Ken loosened his
grip on Omi slightly, to lesson the shock on his arms when Omi pushed him away.
He loves me… HE loves
ME!?!!
'Ken…thank you for telling
me,' said Omi, knowing that unless he tried very hard to control his voice he'd
scream with joy and bring Yohji and Aya and possibly even Momoe-san running.
Ken closed his eyes and
hung his head, waiting for something to happen. When it did, it wasn't what
he'd been expecting.
He sensed rather than felt
Omi leaning forward, and screwed his eyes tighter shut.
You will NOT cry, you
will NOT cry…
He was confused. What was
Omi doing? Surely he didn't need to be…
He felt Omi's hands on his
face, lifting it. He opened his eyes hesitantly, and looked straight into Omi's
face. Then Omi leant forward and kissed him softly.
For a moment he was too
stunned to do anything, but then he awoke from his daze, slid his arms back
around his koi's waist, and their kisses intensified. They probably only lasted
for ten seconds, but when Omi leant back again, he was panting and there were
fresh tears running down his face.
'So long…' he sobbed, 'why
did you do that to me…I wanted you for so long…'
'I'm sorry, I'm sorry…'
Ken gasped, knowing that his own tears would start before long.
'Oh it doesn't matter
now!' said Omi, running his hand down Ken's face and drawing a strange throaty
purr from the boy. He smiled in a way he'd never done before. He liked that
sound.
But before he could make
any more plans, Ken quickly leant forward himself, pushing Omi down.
'The door…' whispered Omi,
when Ken had to pause for breath.
He nodded, and sprang away
like a cat. There was no sign of the clumsiness that had become his trademark.
For a couple of seconds,
Omi was alone. He watched as Ken swiftly shut and locked the door. Then he
sprang up off the bed, and ran over to him. They met in the middle of the room.
Ken stooped a little so they could kiss again, long hungry kisses.
'I love you so much,' he
whispered, stroking Omi's head with one hand and holding him close with the
other. Omi whimpered.
'I know,' he replied, 'I
know. I love you too.'
***
Sunlight streamed through
the window in Omi's room, bathing the whole space with gold light. Omi awoke
first. Purely out of habit, he tried to roll out of bed and onto the floor, but
he was stopped by the fact that Ken had his arm around his waist. He smiled, as
all last night's, and this morning's memories, came back to him. He turned
over, slid his arms around Ken's neck, and went back to sleep.
*Owari*