. : : p   o   e   t   r   y : : .
::love::
tears are shed and punches thrown;
rain is poured and wind is blown.
white as an angel yet black as a crow;
beautiful as nature yet ugly as foe.

all of this in one can seem like too much
but can be calmed with one sweet touch.
a warm hug, a gentle kiss
can make the pouring rain a gentle mist.

love can be brutal,
love can be kind.
love can be fun
but can play with your mind.
love can be good,
love can be bad.
love can be confusing
but it's something i'm glad i've had.
. : : p   o   e   t   r   y : : .
::what if i said...::
what if i said i'm still in love with you?
would you be honest with me?
would you tell me the truth?

what if i said i still need you in my life?
would you build up my hopes?
would you tell me lies?

what if i said i can't take any more pain?
would you leave me alone?
would you run away again?

what if i said i think about you every day?
would you be part of my life?
would you finally stay?

what if i said i'm afraid to be alone?
cuz i want you to stay
... but i think you should go.
::every day::
every day i think to myself, 'today will be the day...
today i'll find the strength to say the things i need to say.'

every day that i don't see you makes me a little stronger
'til the day i finally see you... i wait a little longer.

every day i tell myself that i don't need you anymore
and i wonder why i never wondered what you hung around for.

every day i look at the happy smiles upon their faces
and i see the joy i lack along with all of my disgraces.

every day i think to myself that i'm going to move on
but every day has a night as the night has come.

every day comes with hope while the night is bleak and dreary.
every night i wish for the end while i'm weak and weary.

every day i ask myself, 'will today be the day?
today, will i find the strength to live my life my way?'
::i've felt this way before::
i've felt this way before
glad to hear that little phrase
the sound takes me back in time
back to yesterday's today

you told me that you loved me
once again you said those words
i hope you meant it this time
because when you lie, it hurts

the lies, deceit and trickery
bring tears, torture and pain
i tell myself that i won't
then i go back to you again

i've felt this way before
happy because i thought you cared
but then at times i needed you
you were never really there

sometimes the truth does hurt
liek when i see you've lied
sometimes i just don't understand
don't know why i've ever tried

but then something happens to me
and i remember why i care
i remember how you make me feel
and all the times we've shared

i just look into your eyes
and i can feel your gentle touch
i can see you in my dreams
...i love you so much...

i've felt this way before
blind to the bitter truth
i always seem to think
that we can start over new

i've felt this way before
hopeful and in love
believing you're the one
sent to me from up above
::this love::
every day i have this love that never fades away
it grows inside my broken heart, gets stronger every day

every day i feel this love that never lets me go
it tightens up its sturdy grip that suffocates my soul

every day i fuel this love that rages with envious fire
fed by burning jealousy and flaming with desire

every day i hate this love that kills me from within
i hold onto the very things that hurt me - i can't win

every day i need this love that fulfills me to the core
all the pain that i withstand just makes me love you more
::maybe::
i don't know why it's got to be this way
but it's how it's gonna be
i don't know why we just hurt each other
saying things we really don't mean

i'm sorry that i hurt you
just like i'm sure you're sorry too
but sorry doesn't change the past
so what else is there to do?

why do we just hurt each other?
why this continuous pain?
we know we should just walk away
but we can't say goodbye again

you're ripping me apart inside
every insult, harsh comment and fight
i know it's a two-sided match
but i can't seem to make things right

maybe it was all a mistake
maybe there's some lesson to be learned
maybe i was wrong this time...
it's my turn to burn

i can't seem to let go
so i just wish you'd go away
if your memory would disappear
maybe we'd both be okay
::how does it feel?::
how does it feel when you look me in the eye?
do you see the shame i feel in my foolish little tries?

how does it feel, knowing you're in total control?
can you tell how low i feel down in this cold, dark hole?

how does it feel to make those biting remarks?
do you hear me hold my breath or see the fading sparks?

how does it feel to be confident you're always right?
can't you see that i'm not wrong in trying to follow the light?

how does it feel when you look me in the eye?
do you sense my disappointment and reluctance to say goodbye?

how does it feel to act like you don't know?
because i think i see it in your eye -
i think you know i can't let go.

how does it feel?
::break free::
she cries out loud
to the eerie sound
of his feet hitting the ground
marching towards her

her frantic pleas
she's down on her knees
screaming now, begging him,
please
but he'll never quit

he's full of lies
the hate in his eyes
is a beautiful disguise
for years of neglect

she wants to run
the damage is done
her obedience he's won
she can't get out now

bound to this life
through struggle and strife
her lone escape is the knife
she's finally free
::words::
you can use them
abuse them
throw them around
listen to what i say
but you don't hear a sound

verbal insignificance
waste of a breath
go ahead, speak your mind
do what you want
but don't waste my time

stinging and burning
our deafening toys
and yet it is silence
that makes the loudest noise
::my cocaine::
here's the thing, you see
there's just something about you babe.
you've got me hooked,
you're like a drug.
you're my cocaine.

and baby i love this addiction.
beautiful affliction.
it's just never enough,
you leave me wanting more
of my cocaine.

so won't you feed my hunger?
surrender yourself to my desires.
excuse me but i can't help it
because babe you're like a drug.
you get me high.
you're my cocaine.

and baby i love this addiction.
beautiful affliction.
it's just never enough,
you leave me wanting more
of my cocaine.

when you walk through the door              
                                     of my heart
i can't help but want more          
                              and i start
to fall               
         apart
     cuz baby i               love you
my cocaine
::you're everywhere::
i can't stand the silence because that's when i hear you -
and crowded rooms tormet me because that's when i miss you...
next to me.
on top of me.
inside of me.
you're everywhere.

i fear the pang of hunger because that's when i taste you -
and i hate being in the dark because that's when i see you...
next to me.
on top of me.
inside of me.
you're everywhere.

i can't bear to be awake because that's when i need you -
i dread falling asleep at night because that's when i dream you...
next to me.
on top of me.
inside of me.
you're everywhere.

but being alone's by far the worst because that's when i feel you -
and this life i live is beautiful because that's when i love you...
next to me.
on top of me.
inside of me.
you're
nowhere.
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