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Disclaimer: This is a fictional story about N'Sync. I have no proof it is true, though it sure seems like it from looking at them. I have no associations with them, thank god. My apologies go out to all N'Sync fans, since I'm guessing this story will make die hard fans rather angry.
"All right! Great concert!" Justin called. "Let's go back to our hotel room, now!"
"Oh god Justin, did you forget about our fan meet and greet?" asked Lance. "I want to go back too, but then the fans would get mad."
"Come on hurry up guys!" Joey called to Justin and Lance. "The faster we get this over with, the faster we get to have fun!"
The five guys walked over to the backstage area where fans with backstage passes were allowed to go to. Several young females walked up to them.
"EEEEEK! The Backstreet Boys!" Called one of them.
"Uh, we're N'Sync," JC told her.
The girl burst out in tears. "But- but I wanted to see the BSB!" she sobbed. "How did I get stuck going to the gay copycats?"
"Uh-oh," Chris whispered to Justin. "They're starting to catch on. Of course we're shitty copies of the Backstreet Boys that are all gay."
"Not to loud!" Justin hised back. "What would we do if our female fans figured that out?"
"Guys, the fans are waiting for you to sign their CDs," Lance told them.
The guys looked to see about 100 fans crowding Justin. They saw Justin anxiously staring at the one male present, with a loving look. Uh-oh, they thought. They hurridly signed all the autographs for the female fans and left to go to their hotel room.
"JC, how come you had to steer that male fan away?" Justin whined. "He was the hottest guy I've ever seen!"
"Because you had a boner, for gods sakes. Do you want the female fans to figure out the real reason none of us except Lance have girlfriends?"
"Anyway, you're supossed to be my sex slave," Chris reminded him.
"Sorry to cheat on you, lover," Justin said sadly, "I just gotta sample the market!"
"Ugh, this is making me sick," Lance groaned. "At least I'm bi! That's why I've got a girlfriend!"
"You're just jealous that your sex partner isn't constantly on tour with you," Joey said.
"True. But I'm also technically not a virgin, either!"
"You mean we haven't lost our virginity by having sex with each other?" JC asked.
"Not according to the dictionary. Anyway, enough about our sex lives. What we really need to be talking about is the Backstreet Boys."
"What about them?" asked Chris. "Who gives a fuck?"
"Well," Lance began, "We don't have any new current songs out right now. So we need to decide which tune we should copy from their new CD, Millenium, and what new words we should tack on to it."
"Oh yeah, I forgot about those other gay fags," said Joey.
"I think we should copy a slow song, since last time we used 'Everybody.' How about 'I Want it That Way'?" sugessted Justin.
"That's a good one," JC replied. "Out of curiosity, are the Backstreet Boys gay, too? Maybe we could set up a sex partnership with them."
"You know our manager? We used to have the same manager as them, and he says they're straight. And he knows we're all gay, except me, of course," Lance said.
"So, does anyone want me to order some beer?" Chris asked. "So we can get wasted and then have our nightly fun."
"Yeah, sounds good," JC told him. "Maybe you could get some vodka while you're at it."
"Get a lot of it!" Joey added.
"OK." Chris picked up the phone and dialed. "Hello, we'd like to order 50 beers and 20 things of vodka. Yeah, that's what I said. We're having a large party here!" He hung up the phone. "Guys, it is getting harder and harder to order that much stuff at once. They all think I'm nuts."
"You ARE nuts," said Justin, "Don't all guys have em?"
"Yeah, actually," Lance began. "Even gay guys. OF COURSE I'M NOT FRICKIN GAY!"
"Who gives a damn?" JC asked him. "It's not like you never participate in our nightly encounters, anyway."
Just then, the door knocked. "Come in!" they called.
The maid looked surprised. "Where's the rest of the party? You guys would pass out if you drink this much."
"Um, well they haven't arrived yet. The party starts soon."
"All right. Then just sign this bill and I'll be on my way."
Joey took a look at the bill. "A thousand bucks?? Oh well, good thing we can afford it." He signed it and gave it to the maid. "Thanks."
"I get the first beer because I ordered it!" Chris said, grabbing the beer. He took a large glug. "Mmmm, tates good guys," he said quickly before taking another gulp.
Everyone reached for several beers before they'd all be taken. "I have a good idea. How about we put in our CD?" Justin suggested.
"Great idea!" JC exclaimed. He ran to the boom box and, feeling a little drunk, didn't notice which CD he put in. He pressed the play button.
The CD crooned. "All you people can't you see, can't you see, how your love's affecting out reality..."
"Wow, we sound great!" Chris commented. "I don't remember singing this one. Perhaps it's one of those songs we digitally rendered."
"Uh, guys?" Lance said, realizing something.
"What?" They asked.
"Isn't that the fucking Millenium CD Chris put in?"
"Oh, no wonder our voices sound so good!" Justin said, laughing. "Because it was those assholes we were listing to!"
"Sorry about that guys," Chris said. He plugged in another CD.
"It's tearin up my heart when I'm with you, and when we are apart I feel it tooo...."
"Sounds great!" Joey said, "Let's sing!"
All the guys agreed this was a great idea and started singing. But after a minute, they stopped. "Ugh, we sound awful without digital technology helping us," Justin commented.
"Yeah. And thank god we lip sync at concerts," JC added, turning off the CD. "Besides, I hate the songs they write for us. But we're not exactly talented enough to write songs ourselves."
"But thank god we can sort of dance and look hot!" Lance grinned, taking more beer.
The other guys agreed and went back to chugging beers with no music singing. It didn't take long for all the guys to become incredibly drunk.
"Blech, I feel fuckin sick," Chris groaned. "What is there to do when we're all sick?"
Just then, the doorbell rang. "Ugh, I'll get it, Joey said. After finally figuring out where the door was, he crawled over to it and opened it. Standing there was Lance's girlfriend.
"Hey guys!" she called. "Just came in to check on you, Lance."
"Uh, hi hon," Lance said distantly. "Come in here and have some vodka with us."
"Mmmm, looks good. So, are you guys going to have your nightly sex party?"
"Guess so," Justin managed to squeak out before throwing up all over the bed.
"Sounds great!" she exclaimed. "How about we start now? Lance is, of course, my partner because he's the only person here that likes girls."
"You bet, babe," Lance said. "Course, watching them gets me turned on, too."
Just then, JC and Joey came out of the bathroom. They held all kinds of kinky toys with them. "You know our night wouldn't be complete without these things," JC said.
"So we took it upon ourselves to guy some today," Joey added.
"Wow, this is getting me so turned on!" cried Lance's girlfriend.
"Ooooh, me too," Lance said, grabbing her. The other guys were starting their fun, too.
"Wow, we have handcuffs! blindfolds! vibrators! All right!" cried Justin.
As all the guys grabbed the toys and began having their 'fun', it appeared it was going to be another long night. Like most nights after tour, they'd spent it getting drunk and going at it. The next day, there would be another show.
Yes, it was a nice life. Being famous while having absolutely no talent and imitating another band was a nice way to make a living. N'Sync wouldn't have it any other way.
The End
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