Top 40 reasons it's great to be a girl:
You won't starve without a can opener.
Your friends won't get drunk and hit on your sister.
Jeweller's and grocery stores won't rob you blind.
Short skirts will always cure Unemployment.
Male Pattern Baldness.
You're 5 times less likely to kill yourself.
"Heavy Lifting" isn't a necessity for ployment on your resume.
You'll never get a draft card.
You can distract an entire roomful of men just by reapplying lipstick.
You smell better. No matter what.
When you fight, you fight to kill.
You can cook your own food.
You see the humor in war.
You rule the bathroom.
Mo matter how long it takes to get ready, guys will always wait for you.
Sex means never having to finish the job.
It's ok for you to marry for money.
No one ever mistakes your chest for a bathmat.
You'll never have more hair in your nose than on your head.
You don't consider urination a competitive sport.
You don't consider tomato sauce to be a fashion statement.
You'll always get served first in a hardware store.
Men are optional.
The Three Stooges don't live in your universe
You'll probably never have to change a lightbulb.
You never feel compelled to scratch yourself in public.
You can bend over in prison.
You can walk down the street without mentally undressing everyone around you.
You can always find a sucker to pump your gas for you.
You can wear your sister's clothes without making a major lifestyle adjustment..
Short girls are "petite". Short guys are "midgets".
Grooms all look the same. Everyone only wants to see the Bride.
No matter how ugly you are, you'll always be able to get laid.
No matter whose place you stay at, you'll always get the bed.
"Stagettes" are our little secret!
Someday you'll be a rich widow.
No matter what you do, you'll always be "daddy's little girl" (this is not sexual, you perverts).
You don't consider farting to be the epitome of humour.
You secretly admire Loreena Bobbitt. .
Your idea of a good movie doesn't need "Debbie does . . ." in the title.
A Man meets a Woman .....
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Ways to flirt with a girl!
'Are you religious? Because I'm the answer to all your prayers!'
'You know, the more I drink, the prettier you get!'
'Is there an airport nearby, or is that just my heart taking off?'
(Excuse me, do you have the time?) 'Do you have the energy?'
'My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off your blouse in public.'
'Do you have a library card? Because I want to check you out!'
'Your Dad must be a drug dealer, because you're dope!'
'Excuse me miss, is your dress felt? Would you like it to be?'
'You know, beauty is only a light switch away.'
'Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes!'
'Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!'
'Would you like to dance? (No.) 'I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said, you look fat in those pants.'
'Hi. Can I buy you several drinks?'
Kissing your Girlfriend!
'Didn't you follow my advice about kissing your girlfriend when she least expects it?' asked the older brother.
'Oh hell!' replied the younger sibling with the swollen eye. I thought you said 'where'.'
One Love!
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
Guys r weird!
P.S--- noffence to MANkind
Aren't guys 2 possesive............
If you're Nice to him, he says you're In LOVE With him,
if you aren't, he says you're PROUD,
if you Dress Nicely, he says you're trying to LURE him,
if you Don't, he says you're from Kampung.
if you Argue with him, he says you're Stubborn,
if you keep Quiet, he says you have No BRAINS.
if you are Smarter than him, he'll LOSE FACE,
if he's Smarter than you, he's GREAT.
if you Don't Love him, he tries to Make A PASS at you,
if you are In LOVE with him, he will Try To LEAVE you.
if you Don't let him KISS you, he says you Don't LOVE him,
If you let him Kiss you, he says you are CHEAP.
if you tell him Your Problems, he say's that you're TROUBLESOME,
if you Don't, you don't TRUST him.
if you Scold him, you're a NANNY to him,
if he Scolds you, its because he CARES for you.
if you Break your PROMISE, you cannot be TRUSTED,
if he Breaks his, he was FORCED To.
if you SMOKE you're a BAD GIRL,
if he Smokes, he's a GENTLEMAN. its necessary...it makes u Feel Lighter.
if you Do Well in your exam, he says its LUCK 'coz Stupid Creature like u Can't Do anything.
if he does WELL, he's All BRAINS.
if you HURT him, you're CRUEL.
if he Hurts you, you're SENSITIVE.
BOYS!! HOW ON EARTH, CAN GIRLS TRUST YOU????
YOU'RE UNREASONABLE, UNREALISTIC.....GUYS
NO OFFENCE PLZZZZZZZ