Nolan's Drunken Adventure

I wasn’t actually at this party but had it told to me. It all started when a bunch of the guys decided to go to Teilon’s lake lot. They got there and ate 2 watermelons filled with 2 two-sixes of vodka. After eating those and feeling in fine shape they decided to go swimming off of a raft they had built. When they got down to the lake they met three girls. They asked how old the girls were and were told they were sixteen but actually that were only fourteen. They all decided to go back to the lake lot when they were done swimming and one of the girls brought over a 24 case of Kokanee. They drank this and Nolan (who was pretty drunk) started to make out with one of the girls. Her name was Kaylie. After awhile the guys told Nolan to take her to a trailer they have parked on the lot. Kaylie had to carry Nolan to the trailer (should have been a sign right there). Nobody but Kaylie knows what exactly went on in the trailer and we were unable to reach her. What we do know is that Nolan attempted sex and somehow managed to tie one condom in a knot and turn two more inside out. After this feat of skill Nolan started to puke on her. She started screaming that he was puking on her and Travis and Teilon went to investigate. When they got there Kaylie was screaming about the location of her panties. Teilon and Travis had to dress Nolan and they carried him out of the trailer. They laid Nolan on a foamy where he screamed at them to “Turn the goddamn air conditioning off.” (The next part is gross so if you sick out easy skip the next sentence) Teilon located Kaylie’s bloody underwear and returned it to her. After awhile the girls left and the guys went to bed. In the morning Travis looked out the window and the girls had returned and had started a fire. Nolan remembered nothing of the night before and was surprised when he went outside and Travis came up to him and yelled “You almost got laid last night.” After learning which of the girls he had almost slept with he kindly went over and introduced himself.
Moral: When girls say they are sixteen ask for ID (I’ve learned this from personal experience)

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