28 March
2004, 3.37 am
At this
hour, I’m supposed to be packed or at least in the process of packing
for a six-day trip out-of-town. I tell myself I’m very fast and
efficient with packing, I can do it with my eyes closed. I’ll be in
Baguio staffing the faculty retreat and we’re leaving
Quezon City
at 6.30 am. Almost every year since graduation, I have either
participated in the alumni retreats, either as a retreatant or as a
staff. This year, I was invited for the faculty pre-Holy Week retreat.
Now, I
didn’t learn to pack well because of the retreats. I learned to do this
when I was still working in government, almost always the ‘rapid
deployment force’ as I would be sent out for out of town or out of the
country trips at the shortest notice possible. Government employees
travel by coach (or economy) and thus are allowed less baggage weight
which made maximising my luggage necessary to carry everything I needed
for working trips – from clothing, voluminous books, documents,
appliances (flat iron and hair dryer), accessories to food for those
late nights working and also to save the precious little that we get for
allowance. Even now, I still keep a checklist in my planner for those
emergency departures and will have everything ready in record time.
As I
write this now, I’ve started choosing which clothes to bring. Since I
will be the staff, and not the retreatant, I will bring books to read.
In line with the Lenten season, I hope to finish
The Origin of Satan by
the end of next week. Though I’m almost halfway through and it’s not a
very long volume, it’s another one of those books which entails a lot of
reflection. For starters, it delves into the anthropology of religion
and traces the evolution of our notions of evil. Trivia: Originally
satan meant ‘adversary’ and isn’t the devil he is purported to be.
An adversary isn’t evil per se. Quite the contrary, it is supposed to be
an “obstructor” to set one in the right path. Ironically, his role was
to be the devil’s advocate and now he’s simply the devil.
Why am I
reading this? Simply put, I want to better understand where this concept
of evil and demonising our enemies comes from. For some who jump at
every chance to whack Catholicism’s flair for guilt-tripping, I suggest
that they look farther beyond. I’m not yet done with the book but I
suspect that when I am, it will be very liberating.
שּׁלוס
24 March
2004, 12.48 pm
My
housemate
brought home
The Da Vinci Code last night. I didn’t intend to finish it but I
did in one sitting and thus did not sleep. The first few pages were
interesting enough and since I’m always taken in by detective mysteries,
I just couldn’t put it down. I was enthralled by the storytelling,
especially when Robert Langdon explains the history and mythology behind
symbols. Oh, what I would give to do the same! I am such a frustrated
mythologist that when I was teaching environmental science, I introduced
scientific topics with myths, legends and etymology. I hope my former
students remember the main topics more than the introduction.
Aside
from taking pleasure in Langdon's symbology, I noticed that I could
distinguish fact from fiction and that I actually recognised or read at
least part of some documents the characters cited
(The Gnostic Gospels, Q,
Dead Sea Scrolls, Nag Hammadi codices).
There were instances I was a few steps ahead of what I was reading, or
even questioning the premise of some of Teabing’s arguments. I enjoyed
The Da Vinci
Code more because I could cross-reference the sources with my
books.
I’m glad
I’ve read up on theology and Church history. One thing that came out of
my trip to
Israel
two years ago was a desire to read and understand my faith better.
During and after that trip, I read the Bible from cover to cover. If
there was one thing that became clear as I read the Scriptures was the
importance of context and the consideration of prevailing conditions
both when reading the Bible – which of course should not be taken as a
historical document – and when examining Church teachings.
In the
course of my reading, a lot of questions have surfaced. Many of these go
to the foundations of Christianity while some to inter-religious
relations. Such is the reason for my reading materials (see reading
list).
I am
far from getting totally satisfactory answers because two centuries of
Christianity cannot be contained in books I read in my spare time,
probably not even if I devote my whole life to reading. However, this
much I can say: I am trying to find the answers from within my own
tradition and the more I search, the more my heart is at peace. I know
there is so much more to cover but in the meantime, I’ll enjoy expanding
the boundaries of my mind and the bonus of better appreciating fiction
such as
The Da Vinci
Code.
שּׁלוס
22 March
2004, 12.34 am
Finally,
I’m done reading
Michelangelo and the Pope’s Ceiling (non-fiction). Usually, it
only takes me a short while to read a book, especially one as
fascinating as this
, even the footnotes and endnotes are interesting.
However, it took me two months to finish the abovementioned since Ross
King describes in detail the procedures and circumstances that go into
painting almost each scene in the Sistine Chapel ceiling. Now and then,
I had to put down the book and think to appreciate Michelangelo’s
genius. I would also look at the pictures of the scenes being described
from another book.
I now
admire Michelangelo even more. The book takes pains to disabuse the
reader of misconceptions regarding the Sistine Chapel ceiling paintings
(such as painting the entirety of the ceiling by himself and working on
parts while he was lying flat on his back). Demystifying the great
artist, however, only makes him greater. For how could he have taught
himself the art of frescoing almost on-the-spot? And fresco is not at
all that easy, even for experienced painters. Add to that the intrigue
among the artists and the political events during the course of the four
years he was painting. The book shows how Michelangelo behaved
accordingly. He was so human yet so gifted, much more than ordinary
humans.
In
general, I now appreciate art history better. I wish there were books as
good as this to document works by Filipino masters.
שּׁלוס
19 March
2004, 3.56 am
Since I
write a lot for policy work, my blog is supposed to be for more personal
and creative endeavours. Even when the national scene is rife with
subjects anyone can talk and blog about, I inhibit myself from doing so
because it is too similar to work.
Nevertheless,
I am very close to violating my personal rule of not writing about
politics. Current events are constantly on my mind. When I read the
papers or watch the news on TV, I am aghast at the naïveté of a lot of
those running for elective offices. I am also appalled at how most
presidential candidates are just spouting slogans and motherhood
statements when supposedly discussing their platforms in concrete terms.
However,
I am most alarmed at how the supposedly educated are also ignorant about
our social and governmental systems. They believe that Philippine
society can be changed just like that if populist politicians are in
power. And this feeds into the general idea that the right people in
government will solve our problems for us. The ordinary person on the
street is adamant about asking for reforms and social services that they
think it can be done overnight. In reality, even the most sincere person
who has the political will cannot transform the Philippines in just five
years. There are things that will really take time. The economy might be
able to improve for a time but if it has to be sustainable, major
reforms in wealth distribution and social services have to be in place
first. Even with political will, such things cannot be done hastily.
Thorough
studies which will identify the legitimate communities will have to be
done. Educating these communities in managing their resources (financial
and otherwise) will also take some time. This reminds me of a
conversation I had with a wise old priest a few years ago, when I was
still working in government. I was then complaining about giving my
whole self to uphold the rights of some farmers against land grabbing.
Even if I did everything in my capacity as a government employee, I
could not fight their battles for them. I was really downhearted and Fr.
C told me that if I really wanted to help them, I could leave my “job
and go educate the farmers”.
At that
time, I thought that was a bit drastic. Unless the level of awareness is
raised, we shall forever be in the clutches of those who have the means
to manipulate public opinion to suit their own vested interests.
Hmmm…
perhaps I should start a separate commentary blog to vent ideas
simmering in my head. Then again, I don’t want to bore myself, nor my
friends for that matter.
שּׁלוס
18 March 2004, 2.47 am
Good
news update since the last entry: my aunt in Madrid’s ok. Since I
couldn’t contact her right after the blasts, I e-mailed my cousin in
Canada and asked if she had any news. My aunt’s fine though shaken. What
a relief! I should’ve posted soon enough to allay the fears of concerned
friends. Sorry, I’ll try to be more conscientious in posting.
שּׁלוס
I was in
a workshop for pastoral workers (mostly from Asia and Africa) almost the
whole of yesterday. One of my former dorm prefects who is a theologian
invited me to do the workshop with her. My part was to input on the
natural and social science of the environment while she discussed the
theology aspect. The relationship between ecology and theology should
come naturally to me since I’m a practising professional of the former
and retained much interest in the latter long after college. However, my
theological interest lies more along the lines of Church history. I have
a few reservations on the pervading “eco-spirituality” as I feel it
borders on neo-pagan assertions. Although there are some mainstream
thinkers on the subject, I haven’t really explored the field that much
to be familiar with their works.
Anyway,
it has been a long time since I was in such a setting. The conferences
and meetings that I sit into or give are usually policy-oriented, which
means discussions deal more with material aspects, the “how” or
the means of achieving an objective. Theology however is a value-raiser.
I’m still familiar with discussing abstract concepts and vocabulary
words such as “trinitarian”, “relational” and “sacramentality” but I was
a bit disoriented while reviewing the readings I was using to prepare for the
workshop.
Actually, I didn’t need to read through the theology articles. All I had
to prepare were my satellite maps and some data sets. However, I always
want to know the framework where my work is supposed to fit in. So there
I was punishing myself by rummaging through files only strange creatures
like me would read.
Perhaps
that example would best illustrate my work ethic. I can do the lowliest
job with utmost dedication as long as I know its context and its
contribution to the whole. I am almost certain that people I have worked
with find me a bit infuriating for asking too many questions which seem
unrelated to the job that I’m supposed to accomplish. More often than
not, however, I get “promoted” to work on the “bigger issues” as I go
about my work. And most of the time, I get into trouble (without meaning
to, honest!) for delving too deep.
Ayayay!
I wish I was more easily contented.
שּׁלוס
12 March
2004, 1.36 am
The
train bombing in Madrid distresses
me. My auntie lives there – ALONE! Our
Department of Foreign Affairs
reports that there were no Filipino casualties but a morbid part of my
mind wonders if it’s too early to tell.
Spain
isn’t known for its efficiency. This is not to take pot-shots at our old
conquistador (but makes one think where we inherited our
bureaucratic inefficiency) and I’m not complaining but it just makes me
uneasy not knowing for certain.
Of
course what makes it more difficult is that my aunt has been changing
phone numbers every so often and that her mobile is off. And no, she’s
not internet literate either. I’ll just have to check for updates
regularly.
שּׁלוס
These days, almost everyone seems to be sending me a forward or two
about Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. Some are chain
letters asking for prayers since the movie is being attacked from all
quarters. Some are reviews, some calls for prayer. I found two of these forwards interesting and thought of
posting them here.
I still
don’t know the specific date for the Philippine release of the movie.
I’m not sure if I want to watch it on the big screen and if I will, not
sure who I’ll want to watch it with. The reviews and those who have seen
it say it’s intensely moving. It’s not that I’m ashamed to cry when with
someone (not at all, I’ve cried over much less profound films in other
people’s company) but I’m not sure if I’m ready to share the moments
watching the film with anyone.
Hmmm… I
might just go to the movie house on my own.
שּׁלוס
4.21 pm
I’m
supposed to be working on a lecture yet all I can think of now is eating
sherbet. The sweltering summer heat is upon us. It is now past 4pm yet
the sun is still hot enough to dry laundry on the clothesline.
Sherbet
is all I can think of while I should be looking at environmental
principles. Buco (young coconut) sherbet? I should go on reading.
Atis (custard apple) sherbet? I should start writing. Mango
sherbet? The PowerPoint presentation isn’t even halfway done. Strawberry
sherbet?
שּׁלוס
10 March 2004, 7.56 pm
Some of
my fantasies that may never be:
-
Own a
restaurant – I cook very well. Cooking for the multitude isn’t my
problem. Didn’t I use to do that when I was a mere child, during
fiestas and other family affairs? I’m also firmly grounded on the
basic principles of cooking to be able to experiment. However, the
financial side of managing a restaurant is what I’m afraid of. I don’t
know the first thing about pricing and I never sacrifice the quality
of ingredients just to make a profit.
-
Put up
a novelty and crafts store – Indulging in my hobbies makes me happy
and it would be much more fulfilling if others would like my projects
enough to buy them. One of these days, I intend to sew cloth book
covers with handles to use when travelling. I also found a store
nearby that sells candle making supplies. Let’s see if I can make some
for myself.
-
Book
bag designer – I’m not even sure if there’s such a thing. Designer
bags are one thing and they’re not what I want. I like cloth bags,
washable ones. Since I usually ruin my book bags with such heavy
things, I know what I need and how to make them.
I wish a
financier would find me, hehehe!
שּׁלוס
9 March
2004, 3.03 am
My
mother told me earlier (via SMS) she’ll be here around lunch tomorrow.
She’ll take her sister to the airport for her trip back to Canada. This
is the Auntie I call “migratory species”. She flies to the Philippines
for the winter and flies back to Canada in the spring.
Anyway,
I warned my mom that she’ll see her grandson with a black eye just so
she won’t be shocked to see a battered T. The grandmother responded with
a concerned message but in the end said it’s good T tried to defend the
little girl especially that it’s Women’s Day today (yesterday). Trust my
mother to come up with such one-liners. She’s not even trying to be
funny.
שּׁלוס
8 March
2004, 8.40 pm
Nephew
milestone – first playground brawl: My sister-in-law and nephew T
dropped by around
6pm,
and since I finished work early, I took him to McDonald’s to play. After
around 30 minutes, some children joined him on the maze/slide. Then I
heard him crying inside the slide. When I was retrieving him from the
playground, I saw another boy (2-year old) viciously biting his arm. T
was crying but didn’t retaliate.
The
bully’s parents and grandmother were so embarrassed and couldn’t stop
apologising. From the reprimands the boy got, it seems he’s really a
bully and has exhibited violent behaviour for sometime. Although I
wanted to shake him for what he did to T, I also pitied him for the very
public castigation. I even told his relatives not to call him a bad boy
and scold him in public for it would only make him more rebellious.
After
the commotion settled, we figured out from what the other children said
that the bully pulled a little girl’s (2-year old) hair. My nephew came
to the rescue and the bully turned on him. Now he has a black eye,
several scratches on his face and bite marks on his arm to show for his
chivalry. Drat! The things one gets for trying to be good!
Reminds
me of another nephew (cousin’s son).
Flashback 1996: My cousin and family came from Canada for the holidays.
Since her husband has never been to the Philippines before, she took him
around the place and left her two-year old Tr with me for three days.
One day, I took the little boy and two of the neighbourhood children, J
and V, to Jollibee to play on the ball trapeze. Soon, there was
screaming and I caught my nephew biting another child’s face. The
parents were livid but as I scolded our little boy for biting
(non-violence is a basic family tenet), our neighbours told me Tr was
provoked. The boy he bit was bullying V. Tr told the boy to stop and
when he did not and even slapped V, they had an altercation.
Sigh!
I’m proud of our boys’ innate sense of fairness even at an early age. I
just hope T learns to be more assertive next time. Otherwise, Auntie
might have to teach him some judo moves.
שּׁלוס
6 March
2003, 6.54 pm
Ex-roommate, you’ve got
to read what I found in my files!
Early
this afternoon Bea and
I were chatting about how difficult it is for women who work and still
raise a family. Even in a two-parent household, the woman always carries
the extra burden. In studies done by the
United Nations and other
multilateral agencies in subsistence societies, women’s roles are very
crucial yet these are always taken for granted and undervalued.
Academicians and policymakers in international and domestic circles
already acknowledge this anomaly.
In
Bea’s words, “it's
horrible how women seem to have to "carry" the family and how women get
"blamed" for families breaking up when they leave to work abroad or when
they pursue careers…if a family breaks up because a father can't spend
enough time with his wife and kids, the dad was just "doing his job"; if
a family breaks up and the mom is working it's because the mom's a
"career woman"!” I think the preceding statement is in reference to domestic
helpers who leave the Philippines to work abroad.
While we
were chatting, I was quoting studies done for a different socio-economic
bracket, I forgot that I have within my hard disk something sent by Pia
H. sometime back. Though the context of the study’s the US, it’s
definitely applicable to us (me and most of my friends anyway).
Since we
were also talking about being empirical, then the study
Executive Women and the Myth of
Having It All by Sylvia Ann Hewlett for the Harvard Business
Review may just be the one for us. It’s a bit long but really worth the
time and effort. I won’t write down the highlights of the paper here, it
is best read in its entirety.
שּׁלוס
1 March 2004, 9.55 am
Please pardon me for the
absence. My closest friends know that such silence means something major
has happened in my life. And that’s the truth.
Many know by now that my
uncle the priest has passed away. He was the one I wrote about after
Christmas (27 December 2003). He was diagnosed with cancer of the colon
in 2000 and was undergoing chemotherapy prior to his demise.
Though it was definitely
a sad episode, the thought that Uncle Peping (Fr. Jose Lapid Saplala, MJ)
lived a long and full life – 68 years old and a missionary to many
places – has eased the pain of loss. Moreover, being with family and
friends was comforting. I guess it’s what our clan does best.
We really are a
strange
bunch. In the hospital, we had funny moments. We even celebrated my
cousin Jeannie’s birthday there, the day before Uncle died. Ate Jeannie
flew in from Canada to be with Uncle during his final days. People were
really surprised that she did that. To us though, we know that it’s
something we would do anytime.
שּׁלוס
11.20 am
I’m supposed to be
working on a website but I’m also watching the Oscars! This is the
first time I’m watching the awards. Not being a movie fan, I’m hardly
up-to-date with the happenings in tinseltown, domestic or abroad.
However, I love old films since I was a child. Didn’t I used to stay up
till the wee hours watching Rated: Wide Awake Movies on Channel 9?
Casablanca, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, Lawrence of Arabia,
Zorba the Greek, Shoes of
the Fisherman, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, etc. These were the movies of my
childhood.
Anyway, so far, Lord
of the Rings: The Return of the King has won the awards it has been
nominated in. It’s refreshing to see the cast in tuxedoes and gowns. At
the moment, I’ve only seen Sir Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler and the
“hobbits”. I’ve not seen Viggo Mortensen or Orlando Bloom yet.
שּׁלוס
1.16 am
Wow! It seems like Lord
of the Rings will be a monster award-winner. I hope they win the best
picture award.
Several years ago, around
1998, I was looking for the LOTR books. Someone told me I was
decades late in looking for them. (Hah!) I read The Hobbit first
then continued with the rest. I have to admit they’re not an easy read.
There are so many characters and settings yet they’re compelling.
Soon enough, the books
were being made into pictures. The first one, The Fellowship of the
Ring was screened when I was in Israel. Though I terribly wanted to
see it, I wasn’t desperate enough to get into a Tel Aviv cinema. The
film was no longer showing when I returned home so when the second film
was shown, I didn’t watch it either since I hadn't seen the first
one yet. It was only in the 3rd quarter of last year when I saw both at
home on VCD of course then saw The Return of the King when it was
shown in cinemas. The scenes are breathtaking! Excellent!
Oh, Sean
Penn won the Best Actor in a Leading Role Award (Mystic
River).
I saw the film and he was first-rate. The pathos was there alright. The
Academy Awards audience gave him a standing ovation. Fantastic!
שּׁלוס
3.10 pm
They did it! They won!
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King won the Best Picture
Award! The whole team went onstage to receive the award but I still
didn’t see Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom. I’m not really their
die-hard fan but I just want to see them in tuxedoes, out of costume
that is.
Anyway, I’m so happy for
the whole production team, including the cast but happiest for Peter
Jackson. In his acceptance speech for Best Adapted Screenplay, he
thanked his parents for giving him the books to read.
(I can relate to that!)
Thank goodness for such “literate” filmmakers. Thank goodness for their
parents!
The next picture I’m
waiting to see is Troy. I’ve always been a fan of mythology and
even have a children’s illustrated version of the Iliad and the
Odyssey. I would like to see how they transformed the classics
onscreen. Incidentally, Orlando Bloom plays Paris, Helen’s abductor.
What a difference from Legolas! Hehehe!
שּׁלוס
28 February 2004
Please bear with me as I
re-format this website. Due to
Catsudon’s insistence, I have registered with
Blogger and
Tabulas. For the
meantime, however, I’ll keep this as my default blog.
I'll
write more soon.
שּׁלוס
-------------------------------------------
Shalom (peace) in Hebrew script
-שּׁלוס