By Summer
Beta read by Mom-Ra
Class: Slash
Pairings: Nick/Nat, Nick/Lacroix
(Takes place right after Ashes to ashes): In my world the Human Factor was a dream, Last Knight never happened.
Part one: My Baby You (Song sung by Marc Anthony)
As I look into your eyes
I see all the reasons why
my life's worth a thousand skies
you're the simplest love I've known
and the purest one I'll own
know you'll never be alone
***
He watched the ashes as they slowly began to scatter to the winds. He tried to fathom all that had happened in the past few days and he couldn't. The tears came to his eyes but none fell. He was beyond tears. But was he beyond emotions? To feel pain, grief, loss, loneliness and most of all love?
He had loved once, so many centuries ago, and now he watched as her small form burned into ashes in front of his eyes. His beautiful daughter. Who he had loved more than life itself. He had thought that she had died over two thousand years ago but his child had been released by some unfortunate tomb raider, who had unleashed an evil, This world had never known.
There had been casualties Vachon, Urs...so young, too young to save themselves from such an ancient and vengeful vampire. That however was not what had terrified the fearless elder immortal. No... what had scared him was the moment when he couldn't feel his son's presence and was informed by Divia that he was dead.
The fear and rage that overwhelmed him was beyond even LaCroix�s own understanding. LaCroix had told everyone and had been told by others that he was without a soul, without emotions and incapable of love. Now he realized the truth that he loved more than anyone could ever know. *Damn the world and damn me!* he thought.
Turning away, Lucien LaCroix, embraced the heavens. Morning was coming and he still had a few things he needed to tidy up. He had promised Nicholas.
***
She knelt on the ground, staring sadly at the newly made burial, her tears falling bitterly down her face.
"Oh Vachon, Vachon." She continued to sob and didn't even bother to hide her pain. The sun would soon be rising and she knew she had to get back to HQ to help Nick with their newest case, but she just couldn't bring herself to leave the place where Vachon was buried. She had fallen deeply in love with the rebellious young Spaniard vampire.
It had all started so simply. The investigation of a man's death whose severed head had been found in the Raven. Tracy Vetter had asked for Vachon's help. Then everything went down hill. Until finally in madness inflicted by an evil child vampire, Vachon self staked himself trying to end his life. Weeping uncontrollably and unable to stop she did not see the lone figure flying high above her.
He paused for a moment trying to prepare for the encounter. Touching the ground softly behind the mortal woman, LaCroix recalled exactly what Nicholas wanted from him. *Just have her know that Vachon moved on. That he didn't die*
Listening to the sobs of the woman, LaCroix held back. It was not that he feared what he had to do, but that in seeing her pain it reminded him of his own. To lose something that one loves. It was a lot to take and here this woman was openly feeling that which he held inside.
Without help, she would never recover. She would wander the earth without love and probably be consumed with the bitterness. It would be kinder in a way to end her life. To end the pain.
No, Nicholas would not approve of that, even if LaCroix for once was doing it out of mercy not as the act of a vampire. No, he made a promise and he would abide by it. But he would make an amendment to the deed. He would make her forget the love she felt for Javier Vachon. Only that he was a friend. Nothing more. Then someday she could perhaps love again. With determination and with his mind set, he started to move forward when a sudden noise stopped him.
The ground in front of the mortal woman was starting to stir. Taking a step back, LaCroix waited to see what was happening. The hand popped out of the dirt. Reaching for the beyond. Hearing something, Tracy wiped her eyes and seeing the hand she screamed.
Jumping to her feet Tracey wasn't sure whether to run for her life or fight. The cop in her won out and she took out her handgun and pointed it at the ground. The hand was soon followed by a head. Dirt sprinkled into the air and a lone figure shot upwards into the sky.
As the dirt cleared Tracy looked up to see a familiar male figure spin in circles clearing off the dirt that clung to his body and clothes. Then he stopped and dropped back to the ground. His piercing eyes staring at the blond haired woman who held a handgun to his heart.
"Hi Tracy."
Completely in shock, Tracey dropped the gun from her numbing fingers. Crying out in pain she forgot her fear and dove into his arms, hugging him as tightly as she could.
"Vachon!" She cried his name over and over again. The tears never ceasing. Trying to fathom all that was happening he clung to her.
The Spaniard looked up when he felt a strong presence that was not mortal nearby. He caught the sight of LaCroix standing a few feet away. The Elder Vampire nodded at him mutely. Vachon did the same.
"Take it easy Trace. I'm okay. Hey, stop crying, please? Everything is going to be alright."
He produced a handkerchief to wipe away her tears, however as he took it out so came with it about two handfuls of dirt. Seeing this, Tracy started to laugh. Pulling away from him, she paused and then clenching her fists hit him twice in the shoulder as hard as she could. That almost caused Vachon to wind up flat on his back.
"OW! Take it easy Tracy I haven't fully recovered yet."
Seeing that she had indeed hurt him, she took him back into her arms.
"I'm sorry, so sorry. You scared me. I thought you were dead."
"Well, I am...undead."
"But the wooden stake?"
"Yeah, well I would have died but ah, someone took it out."
He eyed her with a small smile. Tracy looked back at him completely puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"To keep a vampire dead with a wooden stake babe...the stake has to stay in place."
"Oh." She blushed softly then slowly shook her head. "Are you...still plagued with...ahm....those emotions?"
Vachon sighed and started to examine the rest of his body. Including his emotional state. He felt nothing. A bit weak, hungry, but otherwise, sane.
He smiled. "No, I don't know why, but it's all gone. I feel pretty good....a bit, ah thirsty."
He glanced at her knowingly and Tracy laughed.
"Oh Vachon!"
Not caring that he was still covered with a ton of dirt she gave him a big kiss on the lips. Holding her tightly in his arms he laughed lightly in the kiss.
He picked her up into his arms and Tracy clung to his neck.
"Come on, I need to get cleaned up and get something to eat. Then we can talk."
Not arguing, Tracy laid her head on his chest and allowed her self to be flown away into the sky.
LaCroix watched them depart and felt the pain hit him even harder then before.
"A happy ending. But never for me. No, not for me."
LaCroix turned and made for the sky heading in the other direction. His destination, unknown.
***
My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
and cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
my Baby you
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
***
Nick Knight stared into his fireplace and watched the flames dance before his eyes. He had just finished cleaning up the aftermath of Divia's destruction and had started a fire when his visitor arrived. He didn't have to turn to see who it was. She had called earlier.
"Nick, is everything alright? You didn't call me! I was worried!"
Turning to face Doctor Natalie Lambert, he sadly avoided looking in her face.
"Divia is dead. I killed her, before she could kill LaCroix."
"Oh." She paused and putting down her purse on Nick's couch she nodded sadly. "How is LaCroix doing?"
"I don't know. He wanted to be left alone to deal with Divia's remains. Sad such overwhelming sadness. I think I understand him better now. In so many ways. What is it like Natalie...to kill one's own child....to look at something that you love so much and see only evil."
She moved towards him and took his hand gently into her own.
"He will be fine, just give him some time."
"Maybe. Its just that this has made me look at myself. To look into my soul and it has made me realize so many things."
Getting frightened, Natalie went closer to him. "Nick, you�re not giving up are you? We are so close to getting you mortal."
"No...No Natalie. It was never mortality I was searching for. I was looking for absolution for my sins. LaCroix was right, I won't find it as a mortal. Only inside myself. I just don't think I can....forgive myself. I'm sorry for disappointing you."
He turned away but Natalie wasn't going to let him escape that easily. She pulled him back with her fingertips under his chin.
"You could never disappoint me."
"I think I was looking for more then what I had, what I could only have. I wanted family. I mean, wife, children. The whole thing. All in a neat package. I wanted a normal everyday life. The things that only mortals can have."
Natalie nodded, knowing that Vampires were unable to produce children.
"So you want to stop looking for a cure?"
"I think for now...yes. I need to think, to re-evaluate my feelings. But, I don't want to leave here, or you....I just...I don't-"
Unable to go on he lowered his head to hers, their fingertips coming together.
"I love you Nick." she replied suddenly. As if she knew if she didn't say it now she never would get the chance to say it.
"I-I-Love you too Natalie." Meeting her eyes, he reached down and touched her lips with his own.
The Elder watched from the skylight. The pain clearly written on his face. So, he was truly alone. He had only just arrived and heard the whispered words I love you. Mortal and immortal. Nicholas no longer was his and he was now completely alone.
Maybe he always had been. Filled with grief and knowing that Divia's last words had come true he turned and flew away.
***
Though those words I sing are true
they still fail to capture you
as mere words can only do
***
Pulling away, Nick smiled lightly at Natalie. "I painted LaCroix more evil then he was, Natalie. So that I could justify everything I had done in the past was his fault and not my own. That wasn't fair, and it wasn't true. He could be cruel, and was... but evil? I'm no longer sure of that. I know you don't like him."
"I understand. You love him?"
"He's my father. Yes, I love him, always have. Always will."
"Go to him." She replied softly.
"Just for a few days. He needs me now. I need him."
He begged for her understanding. She nodded and reaching up she kissed him lightly on the lips. Releasing him, she picked up her purse and made for the door. She paused at the elevators.
"I will wait for you." She replied softly.
Nick smiled and nodded. "You had better."
Her eyes filled with love, she headed in with the doors closing behind her.
***
He cut it close, the sun was rising and Nick knew for the rest of the day he would have to stay at the Raven. But that is what he intended. To spend a few days with LaCroix.
He had already called in for work and had asked for emergency leave. Reese wasn't happy especially since Tracy had also asked for some leave. But, he gave in. Stepping into the Raven, Nick was surprised to behold that though the Raven was mostly empty. Two figures were seated at a table laughing and talking. He blinked. Not possible.
Vachon and Tracy?
But Vachon was dead. Keeping in the shadows, Nick made eye contact with Vachon who smiled back at him silently promising to explain later.
Relieved beyond words, Nick moved to the back of the room to find Miklos cleaning up the bar. "Miklos, LaCroix here?"
The bartender shrugged. Feeling uneasy, Nick tried to sense his master's presence and couldn't.
He flew quickly up the stairs and knocked once on the door to the private room that was LaCroix�s chambers.
"LaCroix?"
Pushing the door open, Nick looked into the darkness to see only an empty room. Fear filling his heart, Nick was relieved when he spotted the envelope on the cherry wooden desk.
It had his name on it.
Opening the letter, Nick began to read.
+ Nicholas, I need to go away for awhile. Just for a few weeks. I will return. I leave the care of the Raven to Vachon. As you can see by the time you read this he is alive and well. I hope you do not mind that I never got around to dealing with your partner. I wish you well
Your Father LaCroix +
Nick slowly dropped the letter back on the table. His emotions running in a thousand directions and all threatening to engulf him.
Somewhere out there LaCroix was wandering in pain. He turned to the window and opened the shutters. The sunlight had come and he quickly closed them.
...and most of all he, LaCroix was alone.
"Father?"
***
How do I explain that smile
and how it turns my world around
keeping my feet on the ground
***
Somewhere in a dump ashes circled in the air and flew into many different directions and if one was very silent and was listening to the sounds of the wind, one could almost swear they heard the evil laughter of a child.
***
I will sooth you if you fall
I'll be right there if you call
you're my greatest love of all!
***
The train hurried along the tracks, with the window shutters closed with no light in the room, the dark passenger brooded on the future. The loneliness and all the pain that he had caused. He had no regrets save one. His beloved Nicholas.
He would never return to his Master, LaCroix had truly lost him to the mortal world. Forever. Where had he gone wrong? Perhaps, he could have been more patient and understanding. Less critical and a bit kinder, no gentler. But, he had only done what he did to try to help Nicholas not suffer the pain that he, LaCroix had suffered. In doing so all he had done was drive Nicholas away. To search and reclaim his humanity.
Yes, it was he, LaCroix that was the cause of his son's quest for mortality. To seek death. Now he was alone. So very alone and in that loneliness he felt tired and so very, very cold.
The door to his apartment opened and a feminine figure entered the room. He looked up in surprise and then lowered his eyes. She smiled and joined his side. Her hands reaching out and taking hold of his.
He thought about pulling away. He couldn't and instead laid his head on her shoulders.
"Sleep, my Lord. Sleep, the night shall come again and with it hope. All is not lost."
She spoke with a deep French accent. It was Janette, LaCroix�s first child who had returned when she felt her father's pain. Brushing his forehead, she kissed him tenderly on the forehead. Getting closer she wrapped her arms around her master.
"You are not alone LaCroix....you will never be alone. Someday Nicholas will come back to you. I promise we will find a way."
***
My baby you
are the reason I could fly
and cause of you I don't have to wonder why
Baby you
There's no more just getting by
cause you're the reason I feel so alive
Ah, I feel.....so........alive
***
End of Part one