I wonder what the secret to their success has been. I guess it was their shared interest in dancing. They met back in the late 1930s at a dance hall which stood on the shore of Hudson Lake, which lies west of South Bend near the town of La Porte. The dance hall was close to the South Shore commuter train line that ran from South Bend all the way to Chicago. My father used to go with his friend, Johnny Peachy, and try to find cute girls to dance with. He once told me that when he met my mom, they were so taken with each other that they never went into the dance hall that night. Instead they stayed out necking in the rumble seat of Johnny�s car.

When I was in high school, they started taking square dancing lessons which became the focal point of their social life for over twenty five years. Mom used to make her own western-style dresses that flared way out from a special under-lining. Dad started wearing western shirts with turquoise cuffs and buttons and bolo ties. They had always loved camping and bought a series of recreational vehicles-campers, motor homes, and trailers-which they pulled all over the country every year to attend square dance conventions. Dad had always loved the South West from the western movies and pulp fiction he had grown up on, and they eventually ended up moving to Tucson back in the early 1980s.

I actually liked this. During my sophomore through junior years of high school, they spent nearly every Thursday evening at their square dance lessons. I would do my homework and then feel like I had the whole house to myself. Sometimes I would sneak a beer, or drive to the local book store and look at girlie magazines, or just call friends (sometimes girlfriends) on the phone without having anyone looking over my shoulder. I have already told the story of how once they went away for a long weekend and I invited friends over and got really drunk. That only happened once because I never really wanted people doing to my parents� house what I had seen happen at other drinking parties.

My parents have always been a very active couple. I mentioned the camping, but at one time we also had three canoes, a small used speedboat for water skiing, and another row boat for fishing. Most of the year we�d be canoeing somewhere or other, and in the summer we�d go down to the river and hot dog on water skis. When my oldest brother Al moved to Denver, Colorado in 1965, that gave us the excuse to make yearly excursions out west and into the Rocky Mountains where we would camp, fish, and backpack. These activities brought us close together as a family by giving us a cooperative activity which was emotionally neutral.

I contrast that with the life I now live in the suburbs of Washington, DC and the hectic work-related life people lead here. It is so easy to get caught in the nine to five rat race. For example, it takes me about an hour and ten minutes by car and subway to get to work every morning. My wife works downtown as well several days a week. The kids go to before and after day care at the school across the street. During the school year I feel like I just get home, eat dinner, help the kids with homework and fall into bed. It is really hard to find the time on weekends to spend with each child to build up a healthy, communicative relationship with them. And I only have two. I can�t imagine the stress level if we had any more. But my parent had five children, and it never seemed as stressful.

So here�s to whatever secret my parent discovered to keep their marriage fresh and exciting. Two years ago, when they were 82, I went to my niece�s wedding in Colorado. My mother and father danced just about every song the band played-from Polka to Rock. I left the next day and later that afternoon, my mother fell down and broke her hip. She had to undergo replacement surgery and stay in the hospital undergoing therapy for several weeks. My father called and told us how lonely he was. He said he got a pair of my mother�s pajamas and held onto them, like a security blanket, when he went to sleep at night. That was such a touching image.

You might wonder why I chose Mendelssohn�s music from A Midsummer�s Night Dream. The reason is simple: that�s where the �Wedding March� that is played at almost every wedding comes from. So here's to you, Albert and Leona Nemes for showing us it can be done.

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