Christoph knew that there was only one thing to do. He must make a noble and valient sacrifice. He looked down at upon unconscience Flake and said: 'Ve haff been friends for a long time und one of us must make it out of here alive.' With his eyes shut, he took a deep breath, gathered up his courage, opened the tent door and threw Flake to the zombies.

"I am much to pretty to die!" he cried as he ran for his life through the woods. Behind him he could hear the zombie Till and the zombie Paul chomping on Flake's brain. "MMmm!!!" Zombie Paul exclaimed, "Tastes juss like chicken!"

~*~*~*~*~

Christoph stopped running to take a break. He stood, panting heavily. Then he heard a branch snap. Suddenly the Zombies had him surrounded.

"Oh... just fucking great!" Christoph said outloud.

Still dressed as a pirate, Christoph tore through the woods, until he came to a clearing and to a large dock. A huge wooden vessel, with the jolly roger (the skull and crossbows flag) flapping in the breeze, was docked nearby. Pirates loomed over the dock, gambling and cussing at eachother.

"Perfect!" said Christoph, "Now I shall blend in, unless my good looks give me avay. Damn zis face! Beauty iz a curse!"

Christoph climbed aboard the ship and tried to blend in with the other pirates. Suddenly, he spotted the zombies emerge from the woods. He tried to scurry away and hide, but he crashed into another priate, knocking them both to the ground.

"D'arrrr! Get your hands of my peg!" yelled the pirate.

"Get you peg off mein hand!!" retorted Christoph.

"Shiver me timbers!" cried the pirate, "You not be of us, says I. It shall be the plank for you! D'arrrrrrr!!"

Just then the Zombie Olli came up behind him and bit into the pirate's skull.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" yelled Christoph, as he ran around in circles screaming for help. "Save me!"

Suddenly, the pirates sprang forth and encircled the zombies with their swords and various hooked hands.

"Blow me down!" cried the Pirate captain,

"Huh huh!! He said BLOW!" Zombie Paul giggled.

The Pirate captain continued, "It shall be the plank for all of you, me heartes! Then we will celebrate with some grog! D'arrrrrrrr!"

One by one, the zombies and Christoph were forced to walk the plank.

"Yay! Svimming is fun!" cried Zombe Richard as he met his watery doom.

"Gott damn! Ze vater better be tvinkie flavoured!" yelled Zombie Till.

"I hate you all!" screamed Zombie Olli.

"Pirates are evil, especially American Pirates!" warned Zombie Flake.

"Pirates are GAY too!!" Zombie Paul said. A feminine looking pirate took offense to this and poked Paul in the ass one last time with a wooden sword.

"Vait! Mein hair vill go frizzy!" whined Christoph.

"Yar... true pirates do not care about those things, landlover!" said the Pirate Captain before giving Christoph a noogie. "Now JUMP ye scallywag!!"

"Zis has to be a dream! It has to be!!" Christoph said. He took a deep breath before his last words. "Mein name is Christoph Doom Schneider, und I am HOT!!" as the fell to the water he thought he heard the pirates all chanting his name.

~*~*~*~*~

"CHRISTOPH!!!" Paul and Till screamed in Christoph's ear.

"AAAAAHHH!!!!!!" Christoph yelled back as he woke up. His eyes focused on Till and Paul's figures.

"Vat ze... GET AVAY FROM ME!!!" Christoph said.

Paul and Till looked at eachother and laughed at Christoph's insanity. "Vat ze fuck is your problem??" Paul said. "It's just us."

"Oh..." said Christoph. "I'm sorry."

"Jah jah, you nutcase. Pack your shit up, ve leave in an hour" Paul said and him and Tilll walked out.

"So it vas all a dream." Christoph pondered with relief. So that was THE END.

Or was it? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

CREDS
RuPaulLanders- Key Contributor to the Conclusion
KotZ- Pirate Historian
PaulFreaka- Pictures and Stuff

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