I'm sitting here minding my own business at the Astor place Starbucks and all of the sudden something freaky happens: I hear a Tom Waits song come on, I'm talking one of those cackling and whining ones that sound like he's rolling around in a gutter choking on a pack of razor blades or something, except this was a COVER song, sung by some girl. And I have my suspicions that this "girl" was none other than the luscious, sumptuous Scarlett Johansson, because I heard a few months ago that she was doing [busts out laughing, uncontrollably] a CD of Tom Waits covers (this info was in the newspaper when Waits went on like a week-long tour through THE SOUTH, of all places, and sold out in like 45 seconds).

The next song that came on was "Two of Us," which by a disturbing coincidence I had randomly thought about the night before, while walking through the cold (BEFORE my classic rock train theme, and having not thought about or listened to the fab four in fucking forever....)

Then, one of the Starbucks girls turns off the music and goes, "Attention Starbucks customers," [my ears perk up and I get really alarmed] "the store will be closing in 45 minutes, and the bathrooms will be closing in the next 20 minutes." Thank GOD. I thought a bomb had been discovered in someone's frappacino or something. Then she goes, "Oh, sorry, the bathrooms will actually be closing in the next TEN SECONDS." Some dude goes "ten seconds?????" and another dude goes, "BOOOO"....