Thinking like a man: On Flirting and the edge of Womanizing

I have met most of them. The list is merely indicative and not exhaustive.

Type 1

Everyone is a target regardless of who is game for it and who is not.

Type 2

By the end of the exercise, it is not important, what she thinks of me. What is important is she thinks of me.

Type 3

She is different. She is so opposite common masses. What it takes to tame her

Type 4

Wife Woes: She never understands me. She never will

Most often the wife is highly virtuous and a very sincere entity available on this side of planet.

Type 5

Let her believe she is reforming me. I have not touched rum since I started talking to u. You are intoxicating enough. That’s why I am on phone with you now.

Poor girl will never know I can never go soft on my senses unless I am down at least 5 Pegs.

Type 6

Larger than life character: She is cheating on me but I can not let her parents know that. They will be shattered. I really cannot do that.

My children need me. I cannot jeopardize their lives. So I have to stay married.

While in all possibility I am the root cause of jeopardy because I just have to login to YM in the middle of night, at office, before attending a party/ funeral or whatever and my wife and children never have me when they really need me. Forget Parents Meetings and Anniversaries. When is that?

Type 7

I was dumped and I was suicidal. She was all I had.

She was all I had for granted, while I happily eyed the rest. I wore sun glasses always when I was with her and her best friend. Last night I forgot: she chided me not to wear it in the night and took it away from me………her friend was with her. Old habits die hard.

Type 8

My wife knows how many woman I slept with before her.

The logic behind is if my wife was fine with it. What is your problem? I really must be something then. And you are not my wife after all. Never wanted to be, never will be, never can be. So why demand first hand.

Type 9

On Trial: I tried to make it work. I did everything to save it. She just would not cooperate and did everything to ruin it.

Everything possible to save IT: What did you think IT was - the marriage? No! IT stands for my life as a bachelor even after marriage and finally I succeeded at the cost of losing my marriage.

Type 10

She was getting emotionally involved. I had told her at the very outset, I am not the committed types. My fundas were clear right from the beginning.

Impression: I am so irresistible.

Type 11

I chatted with your friend last night. Didn’t realize we spoke for 4 hours.

I called your cousin from Singapore Airport to let her know when I was coming back to India. You didn’t even know I was away for a week.

Objective: Inducing fear of loss. I am slipping to someone else.

Type 12

Lies flies: One fine day I realize I told her only what she wanted to hear: I respect women, I hate chauvinists, I always cook during weekends, I never cheated anyone/ ditched or dumped, I care for my parents/ elders more than my job, I help all my friends selflessly and I do not expect any favors in return, I make more money than the entire Indian Army combined.

It’s a different thing that I am in U.S. robbing Peter to Pay Paul obviously leaving my ailing old parents in a small town in Lucknow or Jhumritalaya just to make money and I begged my younger brother’s fiance’s brother in law’s boss to get me this job here in this restaurant just to be able to earn dollars so that I can get an Aristocrat from India some day with H4 Visa who will cook  Rice and Chana Dal, manage house, take a job for all the luxury I wanted to do with money.

Hmmm Tall one: I still exist.

Type 13

Women don’t matter: Only Intelligence clicks. Looks are immaterial. Intellectual compatibility and Cerebral Stimulation gives me a high. Nothing else!

So obviously the discussion starts with how is astronomy related to Geometry, how Nuclear Physics has helped over the years, the latest Sensex scores and finally the conversations dilutes down to mere Sex Scores.

Intelligent or Not, the babe must be hot! So the Plot, acting intellectual and above average.

Type 14

I like you a lot. You have modern outlook, very independent, well established, avid reader. You can talk about almost anything under the sun.

What? You pray? You visit temples?

Conscious beating: She is a nice girl. She is not all that wild as I thought she was just because I saw her smoking in the party last night. Gin soaked women visit temples too? Not beddable!

Next prey please.

Type 15

Sob Story: Lonely since childhood, broken home, abused child hood, fear stricken always, brother beaten, Parents don’t care for me and always neglected.

True Story: Difficult child, terror in school/ University, obviously lonely, as no one wanted to be in trouble with him. Police records for beating, fear stricken as the truth might crop up anytime. Parents are compromising for son’s happiness and are handling the cardiologists and ECG all by themselves so that Son is free to do anything with his life.

Type 16

My home laptop is not working and I could not bear to stay without chatting with you during weekends. I came of office on a Sunday just to be able to talk to you.

Dates: 12.03.06     19.03.06     26.03.06

Unassuming Innocent lady: Check it out - Those are weekends before the appraisals!!