Ramblings of a Year Gone By

I constructed the page on the tail end of a hellish paradise like living situation in Pacifica, California and roller coaster ride of misery and loneliness (stop the drama you say).    The date was April 30th of 1999 when I was liberated from the wicked woman of the west in Pacifica.   Now I have to add this addendum because many things have changed since I originally put this page up.

It�s been a tiny bit over a year now and lets see�.my life in a nutshell has continued in a roller coaster-like fashion.    Let�s see, a month after the page was constructed in September I left a quiet little haven in Concord California, where I dwelled for the summer with the parents my brother in law, for the city of San Francisco. Now you realize finding a decent place to live in San Francisco is tantamount to winning the lottery, and yet I found a home in record time.

Then I met a sociopathic criminal (possibly schizophrenic) online and let him live in my home (with my roommates approval) for what seemed like the longest 2 months of my entire life.   I could write a book on the ugliness that happened and what I discovered about him but I really doubt you have the time or energy to indulge me! Let�s see�.fast forward to January 6th (a day of rejoicing!!) The asshole is finally out of my home. But then something else happens, the couple upstairs become territorial moronic children. The woman upstairs becomes psycho bitch from hell and I go on a campaign to avoid them at all costs for fear of doing the woman bodily harm (I haven�t been in a fistfight since 12, so I�m sure I would have only damaged her a little bit). (side note the sociopathic �thing� did nothing to them other than lie about pointless things, most of the damage was done to yours truly) Anyway, I have 5 months of a bad but tolerable living situation (although the Bolivian woman who I wanted to hurt very severely called me the �N� word, and that is part of the reason why I wanted to destroy her). Part of the bad was the pushin� 50 French Canadian upstairs was always trying to get down my pants and one night snuck into my room to get frisky (he almost lost a nut for that one) and I had to share a bathroom with an anal retentive anxiety ridden man from Chile. So we were a polarized household the 3 of us against the couple from hell. My only allies out of a house of 5 were a horny guy I wasn�t remotely attracted to and a horny Chilean who I might have liked but he had a girlfriend and was whiney all the time (which is a turnoff). Anyway, flash forward to May 31st, another glorious day in my life.

First lets take inventory of happy dates for fear of being ungrateful for the good things in life. April 30th 1999, August 30th 1999, May 31st 2000. Now I forgot to mention that I lost my job as an On-the-Job training Coordinator due to funding cuts (to heck with non-profit organizations from then on out). So even though I was out of hell as of May 31st, it was also the last day of work. Also, I had no solid place to call home.   HOMELESS AND JOBLESS!!! You proclaim? 4 YEARS OF COLLEGE 3 YEARS OF GRAD SCHOOL AND FOR WHAT????   Yes, but Candace was happy because she was free (not to be clich�), but to quote Kris Kristopherson �Freedom�s just another word for nuthin� left to loose�.    O.k�

So a good friend comes to the rescue he and I get a great idea, I move in with him, which gives him a break in rent and myself a home, he also gave me the heads up on a job and I was working as of June!   This job incidentally is far more profitable than my former job. Now I�m probably sure all of you are bored by now so I will some up the last couple of months very quickly�

July, met a keen guy, thought he was fly, oh my oh my,
whirlwind romance,
but alas he goes back to France
(actually Amsterdam, but it rhymed!)
Come August time, not doing so fine, feelin� lonely and blue what shall I do?
End of August comes, I look through the parking lot, my truck is GONE
(I need a Tequila shot).
Two months with no car with a 3-hour commute
(bus it to work with folks who won�t pollute-

With cars that is�) So�(trite poem synopsis of Summer aside�)

Halloween (another happy date)�.I get a car! And things are semi o.k. again�.but guess what�.I HAVE TO MOVE AGAIN! But this time, the livin� was pretty easy and not so bad. My roomie/buddy is moving to a place that I don�t want to live and so at the end of the year Dec 31st to be exact�.I�m mooooooooooooooovin again! To live alone! If you are keeping track, this will be my sixth move in the three years I have lived in the San Francisco Bay area. So�

My little friend Tomoko states that she and I function best in chaos�I proclaim, that I�m on a quest for Normal (well as normal as I can be). Not there yet�and my nomadic journey will continue�

Stream of Consciousness life update
1-26-01
I got a home! Living back in San Francisco, still awaiting a moment of exhalation. Now here is where I start to get a little frightened...things are starting to line up for me once again, the cosmos are in harmony, the universe in Candacian alignment, the year of the Snake (I'm a Rat so I better be on my toes!) Life aint so bad. Still need to get my huge bed out of storage, car is almost fixed (it broke down two months ago) automobile crisis almost over. One roomate! Yayee! We have a lovely little garden, it's a Victorian flat, in the middle of the city and I have a parking space! So this will be my year (I proclaim) and will not stand for anything less than goodness, and that's that. Still single by choice, I think...
No more repeating destructive patterns in relationships and will cut down the booze. Maybe connect with soulmate this year. And most of all will get organized financially and otherwise. There's more but I must sign off and get back to the business of wireless communication (sucky job, pays well..sigh) So ciao all and remember....be grateful for what you have, don't feel guilty for saying no, striving form more and taking care of yourself. Remember to say please and thank you, love one another and never EVER, take anything for granted. Someone out there loves you!