a journal of a mothers love
November
Tonight as my children were sleeping and the house was very quiet, I decided that it is time to keep a journal about them again. I haven't written an online journal since Lakshmi's first birthday. Every parent has bragging rights, and I am giving notice here that I will be BRAGGING!
I have a very special family. My beautiful children are all adopted from India. Each one made their way into my heart in an unique way. When waiting for my first child, I was baby crazy! That was in 1996. All I dreamed, thought or talked about was this mystical child who would come into my life. I am sure for some it was boring, but I have found that there is a very special group of humans who LOVE to talk about babies! MOTHERS! Mothers share a special bond with each other. We realize that we aren't alone in the middle of the night, while rocking or feeding our baby. Thousands of mothers all around the world, are doing the very same thing. Motherhood is lonely at times, because it requires you to withdrawl from some of the things you did before you became a mother, but it is well worth the sacrifice. Speaking of motherhood, I first became a mama on March 13th, 1997. That was the day that I got the news that Ravi would be my son! I will never forget that day. I was so elated, and yet at the same time I was terrified! I had this tiny black and white photo of a baby boy, from India, and I pressed that photo to my heart so many times that the photo started to wear thin. I traveled to get Ravi in July 1997, and I stayed there in India with Ravi, waiting for the judge to pronounce guardianship. That happend in November, and I arrived home with my first child just as the season was turning cold. I will never forget the first time that I held my son. It was the best day of my life.
The next time I became a mama, it was on July 13th, 2000. Lakshmi was born that day in Calcutta, India, and the story is so much longer than I can't write here about how I got her, but when I finally did, it was October 2000! This was my first "tiny" baby. Lakshmi was 2 1/2 months old and 9 pounds. I thought that I was the luckiest mama! I was...and I still am. Lakshmi and I arrived home in October, I introduced her to her big brother and that was the second best day of my life!
It wasn't long before their was great news again, and this time it was only a week after Lakshmi arrived home! Ravi's birthmother had another baby, and this was Ravi's biological sister. I told the orphanage..."of course I want her!" and started the process again. It was a long year, but by August 25th, 2001, I was holding Priya in my arms. This time I took Ravi and Lakshmi with me to India. My family was complete...or so I thought! One day...before I am 45, I hope to adopt again. I have this knawing feeling that my family isn't complete yet. I THINK the next child will come through adoption, but we just never know.
We do have one more family member. Raja is our border collie pup who is five years old, frisky as can be, but sweet and loving. He adopted US during the summer, and he has been our steadfast friend every since. When I put my photo page up, I will include a photo of womans best friend...Raja! After the kids are asleep each night, I sit on the floor and Raja climbs into my lap. I pet him, and sometimes if I forget, he knudges me with his nose, and I start petting again. It has been wonderful to have a dog, and very healing too.
Now that you know my family, I will tell you a little about me. I am a Scottish American, born as a Christian, but felt lead to the Hindu path.
I am raising my kids as Hindu's. I am very interested in India, have traveled there of three times of course, with the adoption of my children. But the attraction of India only begins there. India runs through my veins. She has taken my heart and I love being there. One day I hope to live and work in India. As for my hobbies, I love to sing, play the piano and listen to all types of music. Last year I took up knitting and now I am making all sorts of things. Right now I am knitting all my Christmas gifts for family, but in off season (not during gift giving times) I knit for pure enjoyment. I have a matching scarf, hat and purse I am working on right now, and hope to finish after the holidays. In January, I will start working on a king sized afghan blanket. It will probably take me the whole year to make, but by next fall, I should have a very comfy, homemade blanket. I really love making things with my hands. One day I would like to build my house. And I am also interested in alternative energy like solar, and alternative living, as well as attachment parenting.
My kids are my main focus and hobby, and all other things I do after they sleep or while they are busy playing. I feel so honored to be a mother. The universe has intrusted me with these three beautiful souls, and I pray daily that I will guide them properly.
Love,
Jyotsna