a journal of a mothers love
January 2003
By Lakshmi and Priya
(in background)
January 1,
Vandanaa Trayee
Vakratunda Mahaakaaya
Suryakotisamaprabha
Nirvighnam Kuru Me Deva
Sarvakaaryeshu Sarvadaa
OM
O, Lord Gansha of the curved trunk and massive body,
the one whose splendor is equal to millions of Suns,
please bless me so that I do not face any obstacles in my endeavors.
OM
The Vandanaa Trayee is prayed by Hindus before starting any new thing; a journey, a book, a test...and of course, a new year. OM.
As an American, I made my New Years resolution today. I will be taking on a partial raw diet for three months. That means that I will eat raw foods most of the time, just like fresh veggies and fruits, and nuts. But I drink soy milk so that my hot flashes will stay at bay...so I have to continue with that. Also, I will continue to eat cooked brown rice, as it is closest to its natural form. However I will not eat pasta and breads until my three months is up. And yes, this is safe with breastfeeding. However I will have to take a suppliment to assure I have all the vitamens I need. There is a wonderful website which I will post here soon, all about raw diets. Of course the kids will continue to eat their vegetarian diet, including butter and yogurt.
It will be hard to not eat things I am used to eating, but I think that this temporary raw diet will give me many things. First, it will detoxify my body's system. I have years of junk food stored in my body. The chemicals from non-organic grown foods has it's lasting effect on our bodies, causing all types of illness. Also, I hope to lose about 25lbs in the next 3 months. As a mom to three kids, I want to be here for them. I don't want to die from cancer, or heart disease, or diabetes. These things begin to strike women at my age, and I hope my temporary change of diet will help to combat this dangerous diseases.
I suspect I will experience some negativity when everyone learns about my plan, because this is not the usual path to health, but I hope that others will consider it too, once the learn more about it. I also hope my kids will grow to love munching on raw veggies. They love raw fruits of course and eat them with vigor, but raw veggies seem to be less appetizing to them. I plan to have them out on the kitchen cabinet, all washed and cut up so that I will eat more, and perhaps they will do the same. Veggies and fruit are one thing I DON'T mind my family eating between meals!
Once a week, I will journal a bit about my raw diet, and share a new photo of my face. I think things will begin to change right away. I will also have someone take a before and after photo of my full body, and will share those at the end of three months. While I will start this week, I have a doctors appointment and will make sure there is no reason why I can't do this for three months. I will also have a check up once during the three months, and at the end. She will take my blood pressure, check my cholesterol levels, and listen to my heart. It will be interesting as to what the outcome is.
Once the three month period is over, I will stop the raw diet, and slowly go back to my vegan diet, in hopes to improve it too. Then every three months after, I will go raw for one month. BON APPETIT!
January 11
The new year has kept me busy. Ravi's basketball program is going well, and he will start drumming with a childrens drumming group next week. I am anxious to see 20 or so children drumming together, but the person who is doing this is a teacher, and she has been leading a small group of girls age 5 and 6 in african drumming for a while. Ravi and I watched them perform at the 2002 Peace Walk in our city. His nose was glued to the stage (literally) and he begged for me to let him join in. Now he can.
I am feeling a slight bit of weight loss, due to my new diet. I didn't go raw cold turkey after all. I am going at it slowly. Lets see how long I can do this!!! I am eating rice and dal however, but the rest is raw. I find it hard to chew enough raw food each day. I also feel like a rabbit in a garden! Hmmm, perhaps a sign of the future?
As for the present, Lakshmi and Priya are in competition to see who can say, "me too", the most! If Lakshmi is having a cookie, Priya says, "I want a cookie too". If Priya is coloring, Lakshmi says, "I want to color too". I never fails. The "me too" is fun, but they are also into another thing. "MINE!". As soon as the girls wake up, they run through to the toys, grabbing as many as they can and packing as many as they can into their own little bags. If Priya accidently grabs "Mimi's toys" then she has to listen to Lakshmi screaming. It never stops all day, it only lessons as the day goes on. I am constantly working with the girls about sharing and it seems that the best way to teach them to share is to let them nurse at the same time. It really works. They hold hands, smile and nurse. Simple. When they sleep together in my bed or the crib, they also calm down and have such a good time. Recently they took a nap together in Priya's crib. While it wasn't ideal, since they didn't sleep but about 15 minutes for their nap, they did have a good time going to sleep. I know this is a stage, and one day I will think back to these times with great fondness. Fighting is difficult, but it is common amoung twins, and virtual twins. So for now, I will endure it, knowing soon we will move on to some other issue!
Speaking of the girls, their room is coming along so nicely. I thought by now they would be sleeping in it, but in fact, they refuse to go to sleep without me. Lakshmi still wants to be nursed to sleep, and Priya wants me to hold her hand while she is going to sleep. I am glad I can do that, offer them comfort and help them get off to sleep feeling relaxed. Anyway, their room is so cute. They have a dresser they share, a bed with post, some cute pillows and a beautiful painting depicting Krishna's maids. Besides a changing table, the rest of the room consists of toys! There is a wooden pony, two different baskets of toys, stuffed animals, dollies, cars, trucks, cloth books, a doll house, a big red barn, lots of blocks and puzzles, a kitchen set with dishes and pretend foods, and then of course, the coveted table and chairs with a tea set. There is also a china tea set (very tiny) that they can have soy milk in for tea....but only with the help of me. My parents got the chairs for their table. It has been the best fun. I will share a photo of them playing in their room one day.
January 18
Priya has asthma and has had one other episode back in the summer. Tonight, we ended up in the hospital...just the er. She didn't have to stay, but it was pretty scary to see her gasping for breath and coughing spasmatically. I had already given her albuterol via nubulizer in the afternoon. then I took Ravi to his friends house to spend the night, and on the way home she really scared me. I thought for a moment to take her home and give another nebulizer treatment, then I thought that she could be much worse by then. I took her to the closest one. This particular hospital is "known" for good care. She did indeed get treated, and it was a good thing I took her due to the oxygen deprivation she was having. But the staff was more than rude. I just gritted my teeth (mouth is now sore!) and got my baby help. We were home by 11:30 after stopping at the drugstore to get her meds. Hoping she resumes her normal happy self soon.
January 24,
Priya is doing fine now. So thankful for her health right now. Otherwise, I am very disappointed right now, as we were planning a trip out of town, but the entire area we are planning to travel to is experiencing snow storms and I have to drive through mountain areas to get there...where there is no doubt it is slick. The kids went to bed last night thinking we were going. We were all packed. But we will have to find something to do in our area of the country. Sigh! It is so bitterly cold that we are trying to stay inside if possible. Yesterday my friend babysat the kids, and just getting them in the car for this short drive was unbearable. Right now is is 9...yes...that is NINE DEGREES! Today it was around 10 or 11 degrees, and my forehead was freezing while I was walking to my destination. You know how it feels if you drink a cold drink too fast...well that was how the cold wind was making my forehead feel!
After picking my kids up, we went to the grocery, since we were already out. I hated getting them out of the car. Lakshmi doesn't do well in places with floresent lighting, which is all the stores. She screams hysterically until people start asking, "what is wrong with her". I have been told by our pediatrician that it is due to prematurity. She gets overstimulated, and then she falls apart. Well today, I bought some rescue remedy, and gave it to her right there in the store. Amazingly, after 2 minutes, she calmed down right away. The rest of the store visit was bearable! At home Priya and Lakshmi fell asleep as they didn't have an earlier nap. When Lakshmi woke agaiin, she was screaming bloody murder! At home I let it fizzle out. I try to provide her something to eat, some quiet place in the house (usually my lap) with a book to look at.
Once the kids were calm and in bed, I decided to play a little bit. I got out my Rosemary Gladstar's "Family Herbal" book, and made a facial thingy. I scrubbed my face with it, and boy it felt fresh. After I rinsed it, my skin was all glowing. I have made several things from this book. I can't wait to try something else.
About my raw diet...dear I have to chew all the time! I ate half a bag of carrots snacking earlier. Then I ate about one hand full of nuts. I like how I feel, and I think it will have a very positive effect on my body. More in time!
January 26,
Today I finished part 1 of my 3 part project for the winter. I made a beautiful purple scarf. I still need to put the fringes on it, but I can wear it in our 10 degree weather now! I am now starting my purple hat. Should have made this first, since it is so cold, but I didn't know we would have such a cold winter. The last part of my winter project is a purple purse. All three are made from the same purple wool and won't I be the coolest mom this winter with my trio ensemble! : )
Once the first winter project is done, I will start on my wool cover for my bed, for next winter. I have no idea how long it will take, or how much wool it will use, but I suppose when all is finished, it may be around $200 worth of wool...no idea how much the value will be for my time involved! I have this old thing that a friend's grandmother made years ago, and it is ugly, but so comfy. I have enjoyed the warmth of this blanket for many years, but when the lights are on, the blanket is very unappealing. I usually keep it under my comforter. Next winter, I hope to have something on my bed that is both functional and beautiful. A personal touch in my bedroom, that keeps me warm for many more years. The woman who owns the yarn store nearby me, has suggested that I knit the blanket in blocks. I would choose 4 colors, and knit a quarter of the blocks between now and march (already too late!!) and so on, so that by next January, I would have this thing done.
I also have plans of learning how to crochet this year. While I may not be as good at crocheting this year as I am at knitting, hopefully I will be in another year. I saw so many beautiful clothing articles that were crocheted this year at the yarn store, so I hope to do that too.
In addition to knitting and crocheting, I have gotten interested in herbal health. I have made several things from my Rosemary Gladstar's "Family Herbal" book. I hope to learn more about this special art and enhance my families health through herbal remedies.
The kids are experiencing Cabin Fever right now. It is too cold to go outdoors, with wind chills in the -0's. So I am keeping the stove hot with soups, chilis, breads and rice to fill them up and warm them up. The tv is going more than I would like, but given that we are stuck in here for the last few days, there isn't much of a choice. I just choose family type videos for them. The house is so cold that we have to wear our sweaters or jackets inside. One of my friends house will only reach 59 degrees in the daytime. These are the days when I think about the settlers who came to the Americas to make their life, and were surprised by the extreme cold weather. One friend has been sharing (on a bulletin board) about how she plans to care for her family in a weather emergency where she loses power ect. It has really caused me to think about this. When I didn't have children, I wouldn't mind driving across town to my brothers house in an ice storm where the power has been knocked out. He has space on the floor for extra folks, and two fire places to keep everyone warm. At my house, if the electricity goes out, we will have no heat. I became concerned about the kids so ended up devising a plan in case this happens. Lakshmi and Priya already sleep with me. Ravi loves sleeping with me. So if we lost electricity, I would bring the toys into my room, set up the girls table for games, and we would hang out in my room, door shut. I would bring all the blankets and pillows into my room, and we would survive...if not drive each other crazy. I also need to save up some water. Might be easier to buy it. Also, cooking could be a problem. I have a gas stove and oven, but it has an electric lighter. I know it can be lite, but not sure how. It might be a good idea to have a camp stove with the little propane cans to cook some necessary foods on.
The car has to have a safety pack too, in case we get stuck on an icy road side over night, and have to spend the night. Heavy snack foods, an inflatable toilet for the kids along with tissue paper, water, and blankets are for starters. Kids toys, extra clothing to put on and an extra pair of shoes if possible. Lets hope the weather improves. I am already tired of the cold, and I have been waiting for it since this past summer when I had no AC in my car!
Januray 30
It is hard to believe that we are already one month into the year. Time passes quickly when you are having fun I guess! Last night I watched a program on tv where two children was moved from foster home to foster home, until in the last foster home the child was really difficult (tired of being moved) and the foster mother was at her last end, and sat the 5 year old in the highchair downstairs in their attic and wrapped her entire body to the highchair, with TAPE! The child asphixiated (sp?). I turned the tv off....very numb for a long time after watching it. I climbed into bed with Ravi and hugged him, and thanked god that he has never had to worry about being taped to a chair and dying. Then I climbed into bed with Lakshmi and Priya and hugged them and layed there thinking all night, "What would it take to make a mother (foster or not!) do this to a child?". There was no answer. The other sad part about it was that this little girl was taken away from her mother (who was single) because of the relationship betweenthe birth mother and her mom. No one took in to account that this child was safe...healthy...happy...and loved. They just took her away, over and over. Finally, the fostercare mom who had her and eventually killed her, was actually a case worker in the DHS in that state (Maine)! Anyway, seeing things like that gives me so much sadness, but a new appreciation on life. As my mother always told me, "But for the grace of God, there go I". I still am sick to my stomach over this.
Lakshmi and Priya have been hitting and bitting again. Poor Priya is getting the worst of it. I have been teaching her to tell Lakshmi, "NO HIT", and at the same time to push her hand out (not hit or touch) but very close to Lakshmi while she says, "NO HIT". It is helping a bit. But not completely.
I have been thinking about the situation in the grocery store with Lakshmi and her inability to be near floresent lights, and her bitting Priya, and I think they may be connected. Someone told me she could have some sensory intergration issues. I am going to take this up with her TEIS person. We only have 4 months left in this program, so now is the time to get the help.
Well, I finally finished my scarf I have been knitting for the last two weeks. I have started on my hat already, and I think I have a buyer for another purse I am working on. I will make a shawl next...something i can put over my shoulders on chilly nights, so I don't have to turn up the heat. The kids are usually sleeping when I sit down to knit, and that is when i get cold...when I am sitting still.
I never used to get cold. That is so odd. But I guess it comes with my age. : (
Well, we are at the end of this journal. Stay tuned for February to come! Love Jyotsna
