Posted by Stacy [StacyBurzova] on November 24, 1999 at 23:13:25 {BlpRHB6gpcd2KnBcqwpYLtRn7Vm3Yg}:
The Watchtower did the mistake of the Bolcheviks in trying to cover-up their errors and then alienating their enemies by making them dissent.
That was just bad political planning marked by hubris and arrogance. Kind words, saying that they are sorry and really meaning it, modesty, care, love could have covered many mistakes, but no.
Instead they are having an organization that is dying to their hands. Like with the USSR, the people in the top were just repeating the old liturgy, the same phrases and not observing what was going on.
The Watchtower religion is an illusion, at best, a very good illusion. Thoughts about paradise and perfect health heal the depressed mind. When I have the nature of an addict, I used pioneering to overcome my urges. Unfortunately, pioneering became the urge and everything else had to go.
My mind has been raped. What is the truth? The world relies on illusions, mass psychosis, I know it. Since I was df'd about 3 years ago for being transgendered, I have eaten blood, turned tricks, experimented with drugs, been politically active, gambled, had sex with men, had sex with women, had sex with the transgendered, been to church, done satanist rituals. I know the world.
Everything can be a mad compulsion if you are an addict. Even filling that EMPTINESS by being a hooker on the street. Watchtower is yet another illusion to fill the void.
What is that void and how to fill it safely? People that are df'd soon start filling the void with something non-watchtowerish and people inside jehovah's witlesses say, see what they have become.
I need an authority to feel comfortable with myself. It used to be the Watchtower that made all decisions for me. It was very safe to be within Watchtower.
Now I am with a friend that is very strong and tells me what I should do, but less so. I am learning to cope with my own.
My self has been abused since I was little therefore I split with my body that hostessed so many abuses. I had to get to know my own feelings and feel the anger caused by those abuses against my person until I could be a person that does not need support from the outsiders.
The Watchtower was a Potemkin Village. Everything was so clean and attractive to the outsiders. We were so worried about the problems worldly people were having. Yet, when I felt suicidal, I was mercilessly dropped and shunned.
Shunning is not a JW-invention. I have felt much the same with the lesbigays. If I go to a certain gay bar here that has the certain clique there, nobody will come to talk to me, because they do not happen to like transgendered people because they once met one and did not like her. It is so childish, all that.
No JWs have visited me, because I am just about never at home. Shows how ineffectual the work is. And when/if someone visits me, I will be probably hearing a very bad presentations and left with magazines that could interest me less.
I have an interest in a non-biased, non-moralistic view of prostitution and the transgendered people, but they never touch any touchy issues, they just give the same o' trivial stuff years after years after years....
But we are all addicted. And if everybody believes the lie, does it then, at least in part, become the truth and the person exposing it, does she not look like a liar or at least a clown?
Stacy