Posted by GOLF [GOLF] on November 17, 1999 at 10:07:18 {xx2d.1sWpQxcw/M2TiI6XmY6g1Cg2g}:
In Reply to: **Advice?? posted by Gretchen on November 16, 1999 at 20:36:49:
To be or not to be? What an appropriate question. You do have a choice. The very fact that you say you what to marry him, reveals, your choice.
Because you do not supply enough information about your relationship and your youth, advice can range from simplicity to suicide. (Not literal)
Being of a young age, we allow our emotions to take over reasoning and common sense. It's great to be in love. It's great to enjoy each other's company and enjoy doing the things together. However, it's not great when we have to do things in secrecy and behind our parents back. It may be fun and exciting for the moment but it wears off. The joy of your relationship is already showing signs of cracks. This hiding and secrecy will come to an end, then what? What have you to fall back on?
I know more about you than most on this forum because of our exchange of ideas by email. The hard facts of life can be liken to a cold shower. That's what life is all about, reality.
I'm quite sure that most of us, if not some of us, wish you the best in the outcome of your relationship.
Life is a learning experience as I say in my golf book. Life like in golf, you will experience bogeys double and triple bogeys. It's how you handle them. Some golfers will not allow a bad shot to get the best of them. Some will commit suicide golf. There are no guarantees to life. Your situation is not new to some of us because I too was in that situation.
I married an 'unbeliever' 37 years ago, am I sorry? Yes, sorry that I have my wife's life miserable! However we have been blessed with five children and this has helped to remove alot of her pain she had experienced with me. I have known my wife since the age of five. That means we have known each other for over 50 yrs! Was it one smooth sailing? Do ships experience storms?
It's a difficult choice to make. No matter how you slice it, YOU STILL HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE. Just count the cost. If your 'both' willing to take everything that comes your way, so be it. If not, then quit while your ahead. Since your both young, take advantage of your youth, allow time to run its course.
The best,
DK