# ***Advice??

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Posted by CPiolo [CPiolo] on November 17, 1999 at 11:49:19 {xx2d.1sWpQHljYPCrMsQfhe3reEu4M}:

In Reply to: **Advice?? posted by Gretchen on November 16, 1999 at 20:36:49:

Gretchen:

I think I've told you before, but I'll repeat myself all the same. I am married to a JW. She wasn't a JW when we married and had silently slipped away some 8-10 previously.

When we married, she knew my thoughts about the WT organization (highly critical) and assured me that she had no intention of ever returning. Circumstances changed her mind and I now find myself married to someone who is in a very real sense my spiritual and intellectual enemy.

Do I love her? Yes. Would I marry her again? Never. Do I want to change her? Yes. Do I think I can? No. Everyone has to learn things in their own way and in their own time.

I advise you to think long and hard before marrying your boyfriend. Some can live with extreme differences and have worked out an arrangement between them. I would also suggest you discuss that with your boyfriend BEFORE you marry him and work something out. If not, you may find yourself arguing and bickering about things you may not have anticipated -- celebration of birthdays and holidays, blood transfusion for an as yet unborn child who has been critically injured, who to spend your time with (JW versus non-JW), etc. The WT has effected me in ways I never could have imagined. By themselves, they seem little or insignificant. Together, they add up to something large.

These things become little wedges that push you farther and farther apart. The end result being, you both find yourselves with little love for the other.

You can love someone without marrying them. If you really love someone and see there are big differences in your worldview, it might be more loving not to marry that person -- showing more love not only for the other person but for yourself as well.

I wish you luck and success resolving you dilemma.

Peace,
CPiolo

Follow Ups:

- ****Advice?? Elrond 13:49:26 11/17/99 (1)
  - *****Advice?? CPiolo 17:08:33 11/17/99 (0)
- ****Advice?? Gretchen 12:42:37 11/17/99 (1)
  - *****Advice?? CPiolo 17:11:10 11/17/99 (0)

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