# **very intimate stuff

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Posted by Julie [Julie] on November 16, 1999 at 19:06:51 {pRztWiaeukT.q0qzQJj2RyqclwWKXQ}:

In Reply to: *very intimate stuff posted by Pete on November 15, 1999 at 16:41:32:

Hi Pete and Rae,

I thought your reply was interesting.

:The situation you mentioned is one of the drawbacks of the net.

Thankfully the good points greatly outweight the bad points. This bad point of the net is one that is also shared by other medias. Nothing new.

:I don't feel you are a control freak, you are trying to keep an eye on your husband who is really being unfaithful. If you value your marriage, do not stop.

:Hmmmm. We don't know if N2T is or isn't a control freak, we know little of her at all. Yes, she's keeping an eye on her husband but I don't know if I'd qualify looking at porn as "being unfaithful". That seems a bit extreme. As far as this having any value to her marriage, it all depends on what she does with this information.
:You need to try and talk to your husband about this, tell him how you feel about it all, and ask him why.

Yes, this is the very best advice. Too bad you didn't stop here.

:All men are not like this.

True. It varies in degrees. ;-)

:I think that the "girls" know what they are doing and it is up to them to deal with the pimps, or whatever drives them to do this.

Again, we don't *know* this. Sure there are some girls who gladly do such, that's their choice. There are some who are forced into such activity too and it isn't God who's going to help them, it will be other humans. Probably not anyone with your attitude on the matter.

:I hope God will look into their hearts to see the true person inside.

Humanitarian efforts are what is needed, not passing the buck to "God".

:If your husband will not have an open dialog with you about this, will not go to counseling, and continues this behavior, then my suggestion to you is to take the paper bag off of your head, put it on his (where it belongs) and lead him to the door.

Maybe he is embarrassed. He's been in here before speaking of maritial difficulties which would indicate there are areas lacking in, shall we say, fullfillment.....it will all depend on how the problem is approached. I would recommend a non-confrontational stance for best results.
Oh and she might want to take a look at herself before doling out any criticisms. We cannot just assume she is completely blameless in the current situation, it takes 2 to tango, as they say.

:I am new to this too, but I do know that his behavior is wrong and inexcusable.

I think you are a bit too quick to judge the situation. We have only half of the story here. If you want to offer guidance you really should strive for fair-mindedness.

:There isn't anything wrong with you, he is the one with the problem and you are the one getting hurt.

Um, WHAT!?!?!? How in the heck do you know this? There is nothing wrong with her, he has the problem? Not according to him. Did you ever hear the phrase "There's two sides to every story"? You should have just left off after telling her to talk to him.

:Talk to him, give him a chance, then if that doesn't work... give him a good shove out the door.

You are terrible at this. How quick to condemn this marriage. Are you Christian?

:Good luck, and may God give you some peace.

And better advice than you offer.

Julie

Follow Ups:

- ***very intimate stuff Rae 12:55:32 11/17/99 (0)

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