Posted by staceyb [staceyb1] on November 15, 1999 at 18:37:26 {AS5l1tybL64AzPvstnLc6CvAF9rE9A}:
In Reply to: very intimate stuff posted by new2this on November 15, 1999 at 16:03:02:
Don't feel too awkward about asking, my first question when I found this board was about or@l sex. I, too have a serious problem accepting the justification of pornography. Yes, I know men are more visually orientated, that's why my man and I do it with the lights on and kinky duds are worn by me. I am not inhibited concerning positions or location, but pornography really gets to me. It came to the point when I finally told my guy give it up or I'm gone. He slipped once or twice when he got mad at me (we went through a tough time when I went through cult recovery), but it is far from his mind now and our sex life is 100% better. Better than I ever imagined it could be.
Scripturally, even looking at another woman so as to desire her is considered committing adultery in your heart, guys.
Visit some sites opposing pornography, even playboy had an article on the net with pages of the negative effects.
I wouldn't suggest doing what I did, ultimatum wise, because I don't know the smurf at all. You two have to do what works for you, that is just what worked for us.
PS- often times people accuse us of what they are really guilty of, men who need to dominate women are drawn to porn and accuse their spouse of being controlling to take the light off themselves. Just like the one who cheats will accuse the other because they figure if they're capable of it, their partner probably is too and it takes the spotlight off themselves. Again, I'm not assuming this is so in your case, just some past experience to share.