Posted by Lobo [Lobo] on November 15, 1999 at 17:36:35 {AS5l1tybL6Ujd6UH0qVo60q8BzTBA6}:
In Reply to: very intimate stuff posted by new2this on November 15, 1999 at 16:03:02:
Dear New2This,
I’m not a counselor, and it seems that you’re having marital difficulties not related to pornography. A good counselor will help you out to find out the real reason why you’re feeling this way, and a way to find a solution satisfactory for both of you.
Most men I know are very visual, and even the men who have scruples about pornography get very excited when they see a beautiful female with or without clothes. I come from a very strict JW family, we were never allowed to see pornography. Nevertheless, one day I lifted my little brother’s mattress, and I found a cache of Victoria Secret’s catalogs. Uhmmm, I wonder if my brother (15 at the time) was thinking about ordering something nice for mom.
I’ll recommend you a little test you can conduct at the mall. Sit at a discreet corner, and watch for beautiful girls go by. Then look at any man who has noticed them. If you look straight to his eyes, you will see pupils dilated, and a shine in his eyes difficult to describe in the ‘Net.
Women are wired differently, and as you said, women like to be touched in non-sexual occasions, not only when getting ready to have sex. I struggle with that myself, learning to be more sensitive to my girlfriend’s needs. I for one don’t care about being touched as long as I get what I want from my girlfriend :)
Hope you find a good counselor,
Lobo
PS. My secretary is having a marital problem different from yours because her husband does not perform as well as other men his age. I’ve been practicing my non-sexual touching on her, and now she’s getting too sweet with me. I don’t know what to do now to roll our boundaries back to what they were a year ago or so. (By non-sexual touching I mean a soft, quick touch to the elbow, a little pat in the shoulder, "accidentally" bumping into her, etc)