New and Confused


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Posted by Pete [Rae9076] on November 14, 1999 at 21:10:41 {fiuUEQ5dxU.WOyw5gp1./LKywl8xS2}:

I am Rae's husband. I had heard of the abuse she had endured when she had studied with the Witnesses. I
had heard her stories of how she had been treated when
certain events of her life had been learned by the JW's.
I had gone willingly to the Kingdom Hall with her.
I had listened to the messages. I had read the Awake and the Watchtower. I had questions. I had feelings that were a little uncomfortable at times.
Rae had gotten a great deal of comfort from her faith. I studied for over a year. My "teacher" and I went off on tangients on many points which is why it took so long to cover the "Knowledge" book.
I was now the spiritual head of the household, with very little knowledge, and less experience, however I tried to take my responsibilities seriously.
A year after my studies ended, we moved and looked for a Kingdom Hall in our new area. We found one and went to several meetings. Rae wanted me to get us going on a more regular basis and make the other studies too. She was depressed and spiritually hungry.
As she said, she went to the internet and learned a great deal more than she expected. She spends a great deal of time reading the postings, and so do I.
I think that after reading about "The New Logistics" on WitNet, I had to say something...
I had said that when "the End" came I would laugh about it, glad that the system was ending, and the new one was about to begin. I had no illusions about what
the aftermath would be. Re: logistics, people were talking of treasures, R&D, giving Thanks, burying the dead. Not at the start... I will wonder about the sanity or the "heart-condition" of anyone who sings or
looks for treasures in the ruins. The thought of people doing R&D at that stage scares me, think about the R&D we have already done, with nightmare consequences. As I had stated elsewhere, in a response to the WitNet letter, with billions of possible dead, with 90% of the buildings that may be destroyed, with
the biggest nightmare of our history come to reality,
just dealing with what we are looking out at will be all we will be handle. I can't see me singing...
I suspect we will be in shock, numb, scared, tired,
and looking to the Lord for guidance. If I see someone
doing their own R&D on the side I plan on slapping him,
"This time let it alone and just 'Let God'".
I don't know what I can say to Rae, in this confusing time of her life. She has been let down, misled, and hurt. I don't know how to comfort her, nor
lend comfort to those of you that feel the same way. I had not been in the "truth" long enough for it to have any real effect on me. (As a Veteran, I had had my government lie to me, and now a religious organization has lied to me too. The heck with man, I am putting my faith in God and Jesus.)
I tried to tell Rae that God was forgiving, loving,
and always there for us. The "truth" had taken that away from her. I think she knows that is true now, and I hope that anyone who still may feel "guilt" let it go. God IS love. God is forgiveness, not unrelenting guilt because of what some men in New York say.
The question I pose to those who df people, making them feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in a Kingdom Hall is "Whose House is it anyway?"
God Bless you,
Pete.


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