# **very intimate stuff

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Posted by semi-tangential [SpudMama] on November 15, 1999 at 23:08:19 {AS5l1tybL6LnU7DNQgZIPGEmg6dhnA}:

In Reply to: *very intimate stuff posted by d'art on November 15, 1999 at 18:21:00:

Rick, please don't delete this at once, ok?

Before I start, please bear in mind that I rarely look at pornography because I think most pornographers have terrible taste in women and don't understand what women find sexy. Yet I regularly attend strip shows. Strip show manners (I'm talking about the audience) are respectful, strictly look-don't-touch, and, yes, strip shows, like pornography, are about sexual glamor.

Also, please bear in mind that I am not addressing issues of coercion or sexual slavery this time. Onward:

> Pornography presents the idea that women are for one thing, and one thing only. In truth women are much, much more.

True — on both counts. But I think that "one thing" should be celebrated, not pushed off in a corner. I don't see why I can't be my husband's sex toy and then be his confidant, advisor, mother of his children, fellow-comedian and sometime breadwinner.

> Pornography propagates insecurities in women who have to constantly look young and be the most sexually provocative and desirable being on earth

One thing I learned as I drifted into middle age is that you don't have to look young to be sexually provocative. What it means is that I have nothing against clear-skinned young women with boob jobs and teased hair. I salute them as I salute drag queens -- they look that way so I don't have to.

(Sigh) OK, I know I'm weird.

> While we have children who need to be educated and nurtured we are throwing our money and souls into staying or becoming beauty objects simply to satisfy the ideals of a male culture.

Now I think this is valid. My own response was to opt out. Cultivating the brain is a heck of a lot more fun that calesthenics or having your back shaved in a beauty parlor (or whatever it is they do there <wink>). Looking like that is a full-time job.

I see a parallel between porn actresses, strippers and beauty contestants. Their job is to be icons of beauty and sexual glamor. It can be a public service. Meanwhile, the rest of us get to live real lives.

I say, beyond sufficient good grooming to maintain self-respect, leave the tartiness to the strippers and the porn actresses. They earn their money.

exuberant potato grrrl

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