# REDEEMED BY LOVE

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Posted by dproper [dproper] on November 06, 1999 at 12:18:29 {p8g/8h8r5QAda/WZ92yUP1C36qMA2w}:

To anyone who cares to read another experience with the WTS,

I came to know Jehovah and was baptized in May of 1977. I came into the truth
quickly because I knew the knowledge I was receiving was from the true God Jehovah.

Ps. 37:10, 11: “Just a little while longer, and the wicked one will be no more; and you will
certainly give attention to his place, and he will not be. But the meek ones themselves will
possess the earth, and they will indeed find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace.”

Prov. 2:4-7: “If you keep seeking for it as for silver, and as for hid treasures you keep searching
for it, in that case you will understand the fear of Jehovah, and you will find the very knowledge
of God. For Jehovah himself gives wisdom; out of his mouth there are knowledge and
discernment. And for the upright ones he will treasure up practical wisdom.”

I was married to a man who was abusive, sold and used drugs and alcohol to excess.
I knew he was not being faithful to me so I divorced him. I had a baby girl during that
marriage, she was 1 1/2 years old when we went through the divorce. At that time I did
not have elders telling me what to do and how to do anything. I am a very self-reliant
women and am comfortable with making decisions for myself. I was very new in the truth
and as yet did not know much about the “organization” of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I
attended meetings when I could, shared in the door to door work. I only knew that I had
finally found Jehovah, and was learning how Jesus made it possible for us to have a
relationship with Jehovah and how to benefit from Jehovah’s loving provisions. I became
overwhelmed with work and the difficulties in supporting myself and my daughter. I
drifted away from the organization but not Jehovah. My daughter was now 10 years old
and I had become remarried. I decided it was time to teach my daughter about Jehovah. I
had taught her what I knew but I knew that we both needed more. I contacted the local
congregation letting them know I wanted my daughter to know Jehovah. They arranged a
meeting with me in my home. Asked me what congregation I was from and I told them
everything. The next meeting with the elders brought very confusing news. I found out I
was disfellowshipped. I did not know what that meant. They told me it was because the
congregations elders were aware that I had remarried but it was not clear to them that I
was free to remarry, and I was guilty of lose conduct. I was not understanding what they
were saying but I said okay, so what do I have to do. Well to make a long story short I
did everything they said. I was reinstated, I was active in Jehovah’s service. As time
passed problems developed in my second marriage. My husband was a gross alcoholic. It
came to the point where he was in a terrible car accident and two people were killed. He
went to court and because the police messed up the evidence against him he did not go to
jail for the deaths of the two young men killed. The courts sent him to a drug/alcoholic
treatment center. I benefited a great deal from this treatment center because it showed me
that I have a tendency to get involved with men who are control freaks with alcoholic
personalities because both my parents are alcoholic’s. I was able to overcome many
behavior problems within myself. I learned that I had a chemical imbalance called
Seasonal Disorder Syndrome. My husband did not like this because I would not allow
him to abuse me anymore. This resulted in him forcing me out of my home and divorcing
me. While I was going through the divorce the elders where telling me I would be better
off if I would work out our differences and go back to my soon to be ex-husband. This
was not even an option. Why should I go back to a man who only wanted to hurt me !*?
The elders then went to my ex-husband and convinced him that the best thing to do would
be to save the marriage. Well, yes that is best but it was my ex-husband who was not a
brother in the faith, who wanted the divorce, who gave in to the elders suggestion because
the divorce court judge was going to make him pay me half of all the assets we jointly
owned. My ex-husband decided it was cheaper to keep me. Well, I refused. I told the
elders that for me to go back to my ex-husband he would have to study the bible, go
to meetings and continue in his court ordered alcohol treatment program. My ex-husband
refused. I got no support from the elders for my decision. One brother told me I was too
independent minded. I had nothing but trouble after this. I have always worked in male
oriented jobs. My father did not raise us girls any differently than he did the boys. (I am
the oldest of six children) I grew up in an agriculture area, and I did everything a man did
and then some. I did not know this was a “man’s world”, until I moved away from my
parents. I’m not fighting and trying to support my daughter and myself in an abusive work
environment that is totally negative about women, because I am trying to prove anything.
But I have the elders on my back about getting a job better suited for a woman. I had one
brother ask me why I could not be happy with my “place” as a woman ! I asked him why
he could not accept me for who I am, and that Ps 31 supports all the things I do to
support my family. I was accused of being again too independent. Well, than I meet a
brother. Everything is exciting cause we want to be married. The elders are against the
marriage because I did not divorce my ex-husband for adultery. I was totally confused. I
had never heard of such a thing. I told the elders that they were aware of the fact that my
ex-husband was unfaithful during our marriage. They told me that because my ex-husband
was the one who filed for divorce it left me not free to remarry. I said when will I be free
to remarry? They said when it can be proved that your ex-husband is committing adultery.
How, I asked ,am I suppose to find that out? The elders suggested I go follow my
Ex-husband around and spy on him and get pictures or take a witness with me to see if
there were any women staying at his house with him all night ! I was horrified. I refused.
Besides, even if my ex-husband did have women at his house all night it was no longer any
of my business! No body has the right to do this to anyone. Well, because of the elders
refusing to allow me to marry again, the brother and I just messed up, we got too
involved with each other, committed fornication, got married. I went to the elders and
told them what happened and we were both disfellowshipped. I worked hard to prove
that I loved Jehovah and was reinstated. Later, with much difficulty, my husband in the
truth was also reinstated. Now starts the real nightmare. The elders never told me that
this brother I had gotten involved with had a history of violence. I knew my new husband
had been married before but it was explained to me that my husband had the misfortune of
being married to two women who did not stay in the truth and had committed adultery.
Well the truth came out. The reason my husband had two previous wives was because he
beat them. In fact one wife was pregnant with a baby and lost the baby but nobody could
explain to me why his first wife lost her baby. His second wife told me what a nightmare
my husband was and at first I did not believe her. Of coarse my husband was on his best
behavior at first. Then he became abusive to my daughter. I did not even know a lot of
the things that were going on until my daughter tried to commit suicide. He was not
sexually abusing her. He was mentally and emotionally abusing her. My daughter and I
are very close and he was telling my daughter that he was going to turn me against her and
this terrified her. I was no longer blind to my suppose to be husband in the truth. I put a
stop to all the deceitful dealings that were taken place between my husband and my
daughter. The elders came down on me for it. I was disgusted. After that things in my
suppose to be spiritually guided family fell to pieces. My husband “in the truth” was not
only emotionally and mentally abusive but had become physically abusive. When I told the
elders what was going on , again, they asked me what it was I was doing to make him this
way.......?? Throwing all the responsibility for his behavior on me. My husband went to
the elders and told them he was justified in his hitting me because I was committing
adultery. This was a LIE. He told them this because he wanted to cover over his
behavior and make the situation out to be my fault. I even called the police on him and
filed a legal protection order on my husband to make him leave me alone. I had moved
out of the house before I filed the legal protection order because my husband “in the
truth” was threatening to kill me if I continued to talk to the elders about things that he
thought were none of the elders business. The elders themselves by their actions were
supporting my husband “in the truth.” The elders told me the best thing I could do was go
back to him.” Jehovah did not teach me that because I am a women that I had to accept
abusive treatment from anybody. Especially from someone who was first suppose to be a
brother in faith and my husband. I did not accept this treatment from worldly husbands so
why should I accept this from a brother. Well to make another story conclude I divorced
this brother. I met a wonderful worldly man who loves me and treats me well. And now
without going into more redundant details, I am again disfellowshipped for the third time.
I love Jehovah, I believe in his forgiveness and my salvation comes through Jesus. I was
set up to fail by the elders because they were more interested in making me conform to
their interpretation of the law of Jehovah. There was no respect no compassion shown for
my circumstances at all. My third ex-husband did not receive any type of discipline. I felt
condemned to die. I became very depressed. I scarified much. All my work in the
truth came to be nothing. A life of devotion came to nothing. My good standing of
22years had been totality distorted by lies and those who chose to believe those lies.

Something is wrong with the “organization”. When I was baptized to dedicate my life to
serving Jehovah. My salvation comes through Jesus and his sacrifice. But what I was
being told was I was to dedicate my life to the “organization” because Jehovah was
communicating to us through this governing body. I never was under this impression. I
always understood that I was always going to give my loyalty to Jehovah and his son Jesus
because it was through Jehovah’s holy spirit that I came to now the truth. It was not the
“organization” that made this possible. My daughter was baptized when she was 17 years
old and they changed the baptism qualifications to read “your dedication and baptism
identify you as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses in association with God’s spirit-directed
organization.” This is wrong. We are to dedicate ourselves to Jehovah. My daughter has
left the truth because she thinks it is just another corrupt religious organization to the
benefit of men who claim to be the only one’s to represent what Jehovah wants for his
servants. The Sept 1999 issue, either the Awake or the Watchtower, has an article about
how terrible women are treated through-out the world, and the Watchtower will not even
see the terrible treatment of women within the organization. I have seen it in every
congregation I have been too. This is not the way Jehovah is instructing us.

You wonder about what study aids I have. I still use the Bible and the literature produced
by the Watchtower Society. I have found that while the “organization” does not practice
what they preach, I can maintain my spiritual well being through prayer, meditation and
depending totally upon Jehovah’s holy spirit to show me the truth. The computer has
helped me with association. Because of this Web-site you can check out to see what has
happened at Bethel and the whole organization. It is visited by Witnesses in good
standing and ex-witnesses. The watchtower society totality condemns these web-sights
because they think we as individuals need their direction to protect us from apostates. I
was looking and found Jehovah and Jesus BEFORE I ever came in contact with JW’s.
Jehovah invited me in, not the “organization. In truth, the now “governing body” is afraid
of becoming exposed to their followers for all the things they have not been telling us. We
in this country, the USA, did not even know their were problems in Bethel or in the
governing body itself !! This information was kept secret. In fact the brothers and sisters
who dare log on to a web-site not approved by the “organization”, if caught face
disfellowshipping.

I am no longer disfellowshipped. Jehovah knows my heart and thru Jesus, I have been
reinstated. I have been reinstated according to :
*** Rbi8 Luke 10:32-37 ***
32 Likewise, a Levite also, when he got down to the place and saw him, went by on the opposite
side. 33 But a certain Sa·mar'i·tan traveling the road came upon him and, at seeing him, he was
moved with pity. 34 So he approached him and bound up his wounds, pouring oil and wine upon
them. Then he mounted him upon his own beast and brought him to an inn and took care of him.
35 And the next day he took out two de·nar'i·i, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, ‘Take care
of him, and whatever you spend besides this, I will repay you when I come back here.’ 36 Who of
these three seems to you to have made himself neighbor to the man that fell among the
robbers?” 37 He said: “The one that acted mercifully toward him.” Jesus then said to him: “Go
your way and be doing the same yourself.”
And also according to:

*** Rbi8 Luke 15:15-24 ***
15 He even went and attached himself to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into
his fields to herd swine. 16 And he used to desire to be filled with the carob pods which the swine
were eating, and no one would give him [anything].
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many hired men of my father are abounding with
bread, while I am perishing here from famine! 18 I will rise and journey to my father and say to
him: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy of being
called your son. Make me as one of your hired men.”’ 20 So he rose and went to his father.
While he was yet a long way off, his father caught sight of him and was moved with pity, and he
ran and fell upon his neck and tenderly kissed him. 21 Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have
sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Make
me as one of your hired men.’ 22 But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quick! bring out a robe, the
best one, and clothe him with it, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring
the fattened young bull, slaughter it and let us eat and enjoy ourselves, 24 because this my son
was dead and came to life again; he was lost and was found.’ And they started to enjoy
themselves.

The only validation I need is from Jehovah. I get this validation from:*** Rbi8 Matthew
6:14-15 ***
14 “For if YOU forgive men their trespasses, YOUR heavenly Father will also forgive YOU; 15
whereas if YOU do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will YOUR Father forgive YOUR
trespasses.

*** Rbi8 Matthew 18:32-35 ***
32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘Wicked slave, I canceled all that debt for
you, when you entreated me. 33 Ought you not, in turn, to have had mercy on your fellow slave,
as I also had mercy on you?’ 34 With that his master, provoked to wrath, delivered him to the
jailers, until he should pay back all that was owing. 35 In like manner my heavenly Father will
also deal with YOU if YOU do not forgive each one his brother from YOUR hearts.”

The elders in my congregation have told me that they feel I am not ready to be reinstated
because I am not comfortable with going to meetings and seeing all the pain and confusion
and darkness that exists there. I am not an apostate.

True Christian Love,

dproper

Follow Ups:

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- *REDEEMED BY LOVE Sunspot 15:47:21 11/06/99 (0)
- *REDEEMED BY LOVE Julie 15:12:45 11/06/99 (0)

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