Posted by WorldlyWitness [WW] on November 05, 1999 at 17:50:01 {6xiCHW3gJ2TmM4Bt2duQm1EPSMpKF.}:
In Reply to: WT Articles - Ideas posted by Farkel on November 05, 1999 at 09:55:24:
"Holding Your Child's Attention Through Guilt and Fear"
'Since we have noticed many discipline problems with children we have decided to re-issue Paradise Lost; Paradise Regained. The illustrations will be much more vivid and realistic than the original. This publication will greatly benefit our youth.'
"The Joys of Hypochondria"
'We have noticed that the friends seem to be missing a lot of meetings due to illnesses. In light of this, we have decided to re-issue some of the valuable medical writings of C.J. Woodworth, entitled "The Best of the Golden Age".
You will learn just why not to trust any 'shaman' physician, nor his cures & medicines, how a simple machine can diagnose your illnesses, how good bowel movement eliminates colon cancer, what type of cookware to avoid, how the direction you sleep affects your health and how chiorpractors can heal most illneses!'
"Why Jehovah Likes Living Trusts"
'We explain how to donate any and all possesions to the Watchtower Society instead of giving unappreciative children their inheritance. Legal briefs and forms will be accompanied by a toll free number to our legal department (1-800-sheister).'
"Creative Suffering"
101 ways to stand out and be different than 'worldlies' for no apparent scriptural reason.
"Tax Shelters for the Indigent"
'This fine article will tell you how to live comfortably in a appliance box.'
WW