Posted by JanG [JanG] on November 05, 1999 at 01:42:48 {6xiCHW3gJ2GyVFW8x0fwhnvhFes8o6}:
In Reply to: Blue as a Smurf posted by Smurf on November 04, 1999 at 20:46:30:
I could feel with your pain. I have lost children and had a grand-daughter die only 4 years ago. At first I didn't think I would ever heal or even feel better.
Guilt is so destuctive, and will not help you.
Why feel guilty for being human? Why feel guilty for not being able to read the future? Why feel guilty because you couldn't see what your youngest son was going to find? Why feel guilty because of a decision your son made?
Feel your grief by all means, but leave the guilt to those who are absolutely perfect in every way and don't measure up. For us mere humans - we have enuff to contend with.
Where is your son? Yes, he is dead. What does the future hold? That is something I found easier to leave in the hands of God when I was in the same position. I was so angry because my children and grand daughter died. At one stage I even questioned that there was a God at all because why would he let that happen to me?
But my deepest grief passed and I once again was able to see the green in the grass and trees and the blueness of the skies.
But that takes time ....
Meanwhile Smurf, please consider leaving the guilt to those who deserve to feel guilty and don't be so hard on yourself. You cannot help your living children if you are loaded down with such deep emotions.
JanG
p.s. Feel free to write any time you need to chat about this