# *keep your eyes open ...

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Posted by JF [JF] on October 28, 1999 at 14:11:24 {BrTq3yWfsYDjRmAxB/kMrXRS6Cw1WE}:

In Reply to: keep your eyes open ... posted by david on October 28, 1999 at 08:41:26:

Yes, David, ever since I stopped being one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I have found great joy in worshipping Satan. Each morning, before I pop out of bed to start my evil deeds, I say my prayer to Him. Then I start the day off right by sacrificing a chicken or two in the kitchen, going into my voodoo trance, and setting up candles all over the living room floor.

Even while I'm at work -- supposedly innocently earning a living to support my family -- I do my best to convert my co-workers to Satanism. Subliminal messages embedded into "offical" looking emails work great! I also slip drugs into the water cooler so that it will be easier to hypnotize people during their breaks, which is when I do my best incidental witnessing.

And you know that "programming class" I "attend" on weeknights? It's programming, all right, but not of the computer variety. There we learn how to deprogram worshippers of the Christian god so thye can open to their minds to Satan, our great God. We even practice demonstrations and overcoming objections.

And weekends, well, that's the very best time for me. It might look like I'm in my sewing room, making curtains for my new house and baby clothes for my new nephew, but actually they're decorations for our new meeting place, the House of Satan. (I volunteer to clean it every weekend, too. You wouldn't believe how dirty those dark, murky places can get. All that chicken blood, you know.) And I even had demonic direction when I went to buy the material for the new curtains. I found the most perfect fabric, but I was just sure that there wouldn't be enough for all the windows at the meeting hall. But I said my prayer to Satan, and -- lo and behold -- when I got up to the counter, there was just exactly enough fabric for what I needed and not one inch more. That was proof to me that I am serving the right God, whose loyal demons helped me at the time I needed it most.

But probably my best service to my God is my husband, AF. I have to prod him to do it, but if I nag enough I can get him to send posts to this forum -- long, exhaustive posts that help support our fellow ex-JW Satanic worshippers and weaken the faith of you poor, misled JWs.

I know that most of the ex-JWs on this forum act like they're nice, normal people who are just concerned with living a pleasant, useful life, but don't you believe it. We have secret meetings on a regular basis, under the guise of "ex-JW get-togethers" or "LobsterFests" or other innocent-sounding titles. But they are actually our semi-annual conventions, where we hear speeches from the greatest Satanists alive, see dramas acted out by real demons, sing Stanic songs, and perform Satanic rituals.

Interestingly enough, despite what you might think, Kent is NOT one of us. He worships the Hindu gods (the worst kind of apostacy) so we steer clear of him. Especially after that trip to Norway two years ago when we had to spend four days with him on a boat. We found out for sure then that he was not of our sort.

I have to hand it to you. I don't know how you so cunningly figured us out, but now that the cat's out of the bag we're going to have to be more discreet about our Satanic activities. Maybe go underground. Darn! (I would use my usual horrible cursing but the mods would just delete my post.)

Your sister in Satan,
JF

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